carolsmom gave a hug
11/7/2009 at 5:27 pm
Nataly1
thank you so much, you are a gift from God. I did the breathing and I feel better. i dont think i have a choice but to walk away. my mother has named my oldest daughter as power
...Read MoreNataly1
thank you so much, you are a gift from God. I did the breathing and I feel better. i dont think i have a choice but to walk away. my mother has named my oldest daughter as power of attorney, and i really think my hands are tied. this struggle has been going on for 3 years now. I try to just back off and then after 2 to 3 months, mom gets really bad, then i always jump back in, get the house back up to standards, get the paperwork filed, and sorta rescue it all. and i think for me and my sanity, i have to say ok, they ask me to leave, and i have to tell myself everyday, that i have done all that i can do. do i worry? yes i worry everyday. i wake up in the morning and my heart is so heavy, like there has been a death. but i sometimes when i look into my mothers eyes it is as though she is not there anymore, and i am overwhelmed with anxiety. when someone comes to the house, she is a different person, talks, more like old self, then when they leave, she is moaning with pain, wanting her metadone and xanax and wants to get in her bed. and somedays she will sleep all day long. i know i have been short with her, i know i get tired of answering the same question over and over so maybe it is me. maybe i am not good for her. but if i stay away, which i have done for 2 months at a time, she ends up in the hospital. i know God has a plan, he is in control but i have to go on with my life. and financially i need to get back to work because i have not had insurance for 3 years and gone through alot of my savings. i still have enough to get moved and get a job and find myself again. i am going to continue the breathing and i thank you so much for the words of wisdom.
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