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judy (moonbeam)
Age: 67
Gender: Female

i retired about two yrs ago to take care of mom. i am a only child.

I am caring for my mother, who is 89 years old.

I am caring for my mother, living at home and the primary ailment is depression.

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annecurrey gave a hug 9/27/2011 at 8:59 am

Do something for yourself.

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lampelights gave a hug 7/15/2011 at 4:12 am

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Nataly1 gave a hug 4/7/2011 at 8:56 pm

Hi Moonbeam- so what happened? Did your mom move into an ALF? Did you move in? Did you find another solution? You touched the hearts of many with your question- I sometimes wonder what my life would h ...Read More

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jsdecker commented 1/9/2011 at 7:44 pm

Sorry I didn't get back to you right away. You are right. I was abused when I was young by my mother. She can get nasty and the last thing I need right now is to regress to a major depressive state. I ...Read More

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jsdecker commented 1/5/2011 at 5:59 pm

Thanks for the hug, this is very helpful. I'll be following...

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MineraPearl gave a hug 12/26/2010 at 1:59 pm

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:36 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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lvleonard gave a hug 8/19/2010 at 1:10 pm

Dear Moonbeam:
I intended to give you a big bear hug when I offered my suggestion and just realized I did not. So, here it is!!

I've been keeping up with all of the wonderful suggesti ...Read More

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oneandonly gave a hug 8/11/2010 at 8:17 pm

Moonbeam
I am giving you a big hug. I too am an only caring for my 97 yr old mom. My patience is almost nil after 4 yrs of constant caregiving. I am now going to therapy to help me deal with ever ...Read More

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rosem533 gave a hug 8/11/2010 at 9:56 am

Turn away for a few minutes and say a short prayer. That always helps me. Keep your chin up. Remember, you are doing a wonderful thing by caring for a parent.

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castoff gave a hug 7/7/2010 at 4:24 pm

Sorry. The system I was discussing is called...LIFELINK.
It is well worth checking out & has been a huge blessing to mom & I.
NO monitoring fees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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anonymous11306 commented 6/30/2010 at 12:26 am

Judy,

How did your mother react to your dating when you were much younger? Has she possibly always wanted you totally to herself like my MIL did my wife before we got married?
...Read More

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jlsy gave a hug 1/6/2010 at 11:53 am

My grandmother had the same problem and the surgery went very well - that was about 30 yrs ago, so I would expect the surgery these days to go very well.
...Read More

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Answered a question 9/3/2011 at 3:34 pm

Should I feel guilty if I want to stop caring for my grandmother and start my own life?

elderly people do not realize that you need to have a life of your own. they are only thinking of what is happening to them. they want you to be as miserable as they are. they do no realize what th ...Read More

Answered a question 8/5/2011 at 8:45 am

How can I get my mother to go to Assisted Living?

what is the best and cheapest medical alert system?

Asked a question 6/27/2011 at 10:49 pm

My 89-year-old mom lives alone and complains constantly. I also live alone and my mom wants me to move in with her but I can’t stand being around her for long period of time. What should I do?

My mom is 89 yrs. old and lives alone. I am there every day and she calls all the time. I am 67 and live alone. She complains constantly about being lonely. She won't go to an assisted living won't ev ...Read More

Asked a question 1/26/2011 at 3:58 pm

My mom is 88-years-old and quite wealthy. Is there any way we can legally get the money she has out of her name?

how long do you have to do that before the nursing home will be paid by the government if she has to go?

Wrote on jsdecker's wall 1/9/2011 at 7:49 pm

i know you will do the right things. god bless you and help you know what is best for your mom and you.

Wrote on jsdecker's wall 1/5/2011 at 6:51 pm

if moving in with her would make you unhappy you in turn will make her unhappy. my mom lives close and she is 88yrs old and would like nothing more than for me to move in with her. sorry i can't do ...Read More

Gave a hug to jsdecker 1/5/2011 at 4:44 pm

so glad you are here. this site has been a great help to me and i think it will be for you too.

Asked a question 1/4/2011 at 12:20 pm

Which one is the best medical alert system, Life Alert or Life Line?

Asked a question 12/27/2010 at 12:31 am

How to you have patience with a love one who is depressed and every thing is the end of the world to them?

Asked a question 12/27/2010 at 12:30 am

I get so angry with my 88-year-old mom sometimes and find myself getting resentful to her and not treating her very good. How can I deal?

i am a only child she is so difficult to take care of. i've prayed for patience with her but she drives me crazy. any advise?

Asked a question 12/26/2010 at 1:38 pm

My mom who is 88-years-old has lived alone with my help for the last ten years. All of a sudden she doesn't want to be alone for a minute. What do you think caused this so suddenly?

what can i do about it? she won't go to assisted living. thanks for you help.

Asked a question 12/21/2010 at 4:55 pm

My mother is 88-years-old and has always had a good appetite, now all of a sudden she is never hungry and has to force herself to eat. What could be wrong??

Asked a question 9/29/2010 at 4:45 pm

Every week I fix my mother’s pills box and she still can’t manage to take her medication correctly, what else can I do to make it easier for her?

This is because she doesn't know what day it is and she lives alone with my help.

Asked a question 9/24/2010 at 6:51 pm

Which is best Life alert or Life line?

Asked a question 8/7/2010 at 5:03 pm

How can I be patient with my mom when she says the same thing over and over again?

i need some tips on being patient with an elderly parent. she says the same things over and over again. i tell her how to take her medicine over and over again until i get really angry and lose all of ...Read More

Asked a question 7/11/2010 at 11:55 am

How can I get my mother to go to Assisted Living?

my mother is yrs old. i have been helping her for a long time. now she can't live alone anymore and wants me to move in with her. she has got a very negative attitude and nothing is ever right with h ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/3/2010 at 10:29 pm

My mom asks the same question every day. Help!

my mom is 88 and repeats things over and over. it's hard not to get upset about it. i don't even know how to respond to her anymore i've heard the same things so often. it's really upsetting and so ...Read More

Asked a question 7/1/2010 at 8:34 am

Has anyone used the Life Alert or Alert 1 medical alert systems for their elderly parents? Which is the best one to get?

Gave a hug to anonymous14017 6/29/2010 at 4:46 pm

thank you for the advice. i do get resentful once in awhile that i can't travel or do things i would like to do at my age. i know we're not going to live forever either and we deserve a life too.

Asked a question 6/28/2010 at 8:07 pm

I'm 66-years-old and single. How do I tell my mother that I am going on a date without her getting mad?

Asked a question 6/23/2010 at 9:18 pm

How do I deal with my mother that cry's all the time?

my mother who is 88 yrs old cries all the time and gets mad at me a lot. she is really hard to deal with. i try to help her everyway i can but she seems like she's always mad at me. for instance she c ...Read More

Asked a question 6/20/2010 at 9:22 pm

My 88 year old mom is driving me nuts and she is already on anxiety medicine. What are the signs of depression in the elderly?

Wrote on jlsy's wall 1/6/2010 at 12:48 pm

thank you so much i appreciate you taking the time to write.

Asked a question 1/5/2010 at 7:45 pm

Is there any other option besides surgery to correct a sagging eyelid that causes the eyelashes to stick into the eye?

my mom is 87 yrs old she recently had a eye problem and i took her to the eye dr. he said her skin was sagging under her eye and the bottom eye lashes were sticking in her eye and suggested surgery.
...Read More

Started a discussion 10/13/2009 at 3:21 pm

Incontinence

my mother who is 87 yrs old suffers from incontinence. She has to wash her sheets everyday, wears pads and has a large one on her bed, but still wets through all of it. What can be done and is there s ...Read More

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