PEACE2 commented
6/21/2009 at 7:18 am
HI MICHELE, READ YOUR POST. KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT SIBLINGS. I THINK THE FACT THAT MY THREE SIBLINGS, NEVER CALL ME, ASK HOW I AM DOING, AND WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MOM AND MY STEP FATHER HUR
...Read MoreHI MICHELE, READ YOUR POST. KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT SIBLINGS. I THINK THE FACT THAT MY THREE SIBLINGS, NEVER CALL ME, ASK HOW I AM DOING, AND WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MOM AND MY STEP FATHER HURTS, AND MAKES ME FEEL SO LONELY, AND ALONE. CAN'T GET PAST HOW INDIFFERENT THEY ARE. NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE LIKE THIS. I HAVE TRIED JUST LIKE YOU TO NOT BEG, AND COMPLAIN. WE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, HOWEVER, NOT THE TYPE OF FAMILY THAT HAD TO SEE ONE ANOTHER VERY FREQUENTLY. I AM TRYING SO HARD TO ACCEPT THE REALITY OF IT ALL, BUT I HAVE TO SAY, THEIR DISTANCING THEMSELVES FROM ME, HAS MADE IT MORE DIFFICULT TO NOT RESENTFUL, AND ANGRY WITH THEM. I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY CAN SLEEP NIGHTS. THE GUILT WOULD BE SO HEAVY ON MY SHOULDERS IF I WERE THEM. I NOW LOOK TO SUPPORT GROUPS FOR SOME EMOTIONAL, AND INFORMATIONAL HELP. I AM DEPRESSED, AND FEEL SO ALONE. THANK GOD I HAVE MY HUSBAND WHO IS SO SUPPORTIVE, BUT WE TOO ARE GETTING OLDER, AND HE IS A RETIRED NYC FIREFIGHTER, WHO IS NOW PAYING THE PRICE PHYSICALLY FOR THE TYPE OF JOB HE DID. NOT COMPLAINING, WAS HIS CHOICE TO DO THIS JOB, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, AND HE HAS NUMEROUS PHYSICAL PROBLEMS. MY MOTHER IS 88 YRS OLD WITH MILD DEMENTIA, AND STEPFATHER IS 97 YRS OLD. HE HAS NO FAMILY. NEVER HAD CHILDREN, AND ALL FAMILY HAS PASSED ON. BROUGHT THEM FROM NY TO NC 2 YRS AGO, WHERE I RESIDE FOR THE PAST 10 YRS. THEY LIVE IN A CONDO 3 MINUTES FROM ME. I HAVE FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO GET THEM TO AGREE TO SOME OUTSIDE HELP TWO DAYS A WEEK. I JUST CAN'T DO IT ALL, AND I AM TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF TOO. I WILL BE NO GOOD TO ANYONE IF I DON'T, BUT MY LIFE HAS MADE SUCH A DRASTIC CHANGE. I KNEW IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE EASY BEING A PRIMARY CAREGIVER, BUT I THOUGHT, AT THE VERY LEAST I WOULD GET SOME KIND OF SUPPORT FROM MY SIBLINGS. I ACTUALLY THINK THEY'RE AFRAID TO CALL ME. THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING. MAYBE IT WILL MAKE THEM FEEL EVEN MORE GUILTY THAN THEY ALREADY FEEL? NOT SURE THEY FEEL GUILTY, THIS IS THE WAY I KNOW I WOULD FEEL IF I WERE THEM. CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CAN BE SO HEARTLESS, AND UNCARING, NOT ONLY TOWARDS MY MOTHER, BUT ME. YES, NO ONE PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD TO DO WHAT I AM DOING, BUT SOMEONE HAD TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE. THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT JOURNEY, AND I HOPE THAT IT DOES NOT TAKE TOO MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE. KATHY
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