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Perhaps if he feels that he is needed he will be willing to go and see his new friend. We all need to have a purpose in life, perhaps this is all he will need to get him motivated. Be patient good t ...Read More

Perhaps if he feels that he is needed he will be willing to go and see his new friend. We all need to have a purpose in life, perhaps this is all he will need to get him motivated. Be patient good things come to those that wait.

This is a very informative article (thank you) and raises more questions than it may answer. I am in agreement that over medication is a HUGE problem in our society, and hospitalization is traumatic ...Read More

This is a very informative article (thank you) and raises more questions than it may answer. I am in agreement that over medication is a HUGE problem in our society, and hospitalization is traumatic in and of itself, but add new powerful drugs to that situation and it can be a recipe for disaster.

This is what I feel happened to my mother as well. An upsetting episode at home with the caregiver and others resulting in my mother being hospitalized on the Baker's Act, for observation for 72 hours! My mother was NEVER the same again. Medications that would have levelled a HORSE were given to an 89 yr old 94 pound female, and it had dire DIRE consequences.

I will be looking at the books that you mentioned Jeanne, even though my mother has passed, I am still learning. I am VERY leary of hospitalization for 'observation' unless ALL precautions are taken.

A study IS necessary to learn all we can about the impact hospitals have on ALL humans. I agree that they are necessary, but unless you are properly cared for, the necessity can add to the distress.

WELL! First let me tell you you I COMPLETELY agree with all the statements made by Lilliput and Madge, and would like to continue only to say that the family meeting should have a MEDIATOR there (u ...Read More

WELL! First let me tell you you I COMPLETELY agree with all the statements made by Lilliput and Madge, and would like to continue only to say that the family meeting should have a MEDIATOR there (unrelated third party) to resolve any issues (oh and there will be issues), and that the meeting should NOT include Mom or the stress will REALLY get to her.

Second: get estimates (IN WRITING) from several places, and then have your brothers and sister do the same! Why should you have to do all the work?

Third: For the sister that thinks you don't feed Mom correct, put HER in charge of all 'food related duties'. And if she can't do it, because she doesn't live close by, have HER hire someone and have THEM provide her with the pictutes she wants, and the menu Mom eats, and a schedule of what she eats, etc.

Fourth: ANY further changes in your Mom's living arrangement can also have dire effect on her mental state. With that being said, start a schedule to have ALL siblings come and stay with her on a regular basis. IN THE LOCATIONS she is in now. Do not move her all around the globe/country, since this is not a good idea. When one of them stays THERE with her, you should be able to come and go as you see fit.

I know that our loved ones 'imprint' on one person (yourself) and may find this uncomfortable, but if it can happen, let it happen. Even a 'daycare' center will give you a day of rest or perhaps more time than you seem to be getting now.

Finally: NONE of this is easy when everyone agrees. Take some comfort in knowing that this happens more often than not, and although that doesn't make it easier, it does let you know that others have been down this path, and will help you as much as possible.

Also, AGE, proximity and prior family dynamics make up a huge part of your 'perceived' care. My siblings EXPECTED me to take care of Mom, and yet questioned everything I did too. I didn't have financial or medical POA but I did the best I could for my mother (as you are doing), since she was my best friend too. I also lived two hours away from my brothers, and 1200 miles from my sister, so I did more 'accounting' to THEM sometimes, than to my mother who was in the same room as me!

Have the family meeting, have a LIST of things you need to discuss, and have them ALL sign off on what should be done. If they cannot attend personally, do it via the INTERNET with net meeting, or Skype, etc. Do it soon, so YOU will be able to live too!

a huge impact on the care is perceived versus 'their abilities'. If they question your ability, take a course in caring for those with dementia (online is available) WITH them so you are all on the same page.

INSIST on a neurological exam by a geriatric doctor that specializes in Alzheimer's! All the drugs in the world are NOT going to help someone that has Alzheimer's. Even the 'dementia drugs' don't s ...Read More

INSIST on a neurological exam by a geriatric doctor that specializes in Alzheimer's! All the drugs in the world are NOT going to help someone that has Alzheimer's. Even the 'dementia drugs' don't seem to make a difference. Better nutrition, interaction, rehab exercises, and yes even being with her husband may make more of a difference. I would be VERY concerned about a facility that just uses DRUGS to manage a patient. PLEASE get involved with her care and insist on the proper exam.

Nelkster: I can see that you are new to this website. Welcome. You will benefit greatly by reading all the 'wise words' from the experts and those of us that have lived through similar times by go ...Read More

Nelkster: I can see that you are new to this website. Welcome. You will benefit greatly by reading all the 'wise words' from the experts and those of us that have lived through similar times by going through the resources and article written by the resident experts here. But to answer your immediate question, you have to ask yourself some questions.

Here are some questions you need to answer with your wife about your MIL:

What is her general health? (MIL)
What do you expect her to do?
What can she do safely to contribute?
What does your wife need help with?
Do your wife and MIL work well together?

Of course you can sit and discuss these questions with your MIL and wife together, but make it a discussion NOT an ultimatum. Just a conversation, casual over coffee and cake maybe.

Simple questions but worth defining. If her health is relatively good and she is willing to help, by ALL means include her in any activity around the house that is safe for her to do!

Of course she misses what she 'had' all of us would. Don't you agree? BUT we can find 'reasons' to go on, with loving family around to help!

We all need a "purpose" in life, even if it is just setting the table for dinner! If she is unable to handle certain tasks, or if something is too complicated, find SIMPLIER
stuff for her to do. With the answers to the questions above you and your wife should be able to find some uplifting answers that may just help her 'adjust' more.

Start with what she is WILLING to do, then what she LIKES to do, and then establish what she truly CAN do!

My mother loved to cook. But I noticed that she didn't want to eat when she first came to stay with us. Of course at first I didn't allow her to do anything, telling her that she was 'retired' and I would be happy to do for her. Boy.. that didnt' work! I also (like Linda said) I 'caught' my mother using ODD ways to do things, and was worried about the safety of the food or her for that matter. BUT, it didn't stop me from directing her to something I could supervise without her even realizing it. And BOY, did it make a difference. I went from having a mother that was uninterested in food (or meals) to someone that asked "When are we going to make lunch?" As my mother ALZ worsened I had to change tactics. (see below).

ex: If cooking is OUT of the question, then ask her to look for bargains in the paper to shop for. Or look through cook books for recipes she might like to 'taste'. Or watch the food channel for 'new ideas' (or old) for dinner.

At 87, with the losses your MIL has experienced there is going to be many adjustments she will have to make and these adjustments will keep changing!

I don't know your MIL's age, health or outlook on life, but please take the time to try. I never had children, and I never considered my elderly mother a "child" but I can see how having someone else help can make the job twice as hard, but, and it's a big BUT, we have to try to include them, engage them in LIFE, or the situation can get much worse. Depression will set in, and then that's when (in my humble opinion) drugs are used and the situation gets worse! Drugs MAY or may not be necessary if you just let them know "here's how you can help Mom" , instead of "Here take this pill it will make you feel better". Fresh air and sunshine helps me more than any pill I think can be prescribed!

At 87 your MIL will have to make some adjustment too, but let them be HER decision. As long as she doesn't put herself or others in harms way, what's wrong with a few mistakes? If she doesn't wash the dishes right, show her how to put them in the dishWASHER and let the machine sterilize the dishes. If she uses dirty socks to wipe something, have her put dirty clothes in the washer! You can check the washer WITH her without seeming 'overbearing' and she will be helping herself too.

Mistakes are a part of life. Some of my best recipes where 'mistakes' and some of my nicest pieces of artwork started with a failure and they turned out great too!

Tell us MORE about your MIL (if you like), talk to your wife, and learn more
about her abilities. You will learn something about yourselves too and what you are capable of doing, what you want to do, and in reality what you are willing to do!

God Bless!!

God help us all!

What approach are you using when trying to get her to comply? If you are new to caring for someone with AD (Alzheimer's Disease) you will quickly learn that what might work one day , will not work th ...Read More

What approach are you using when trying to get her to comply? If you are new to caring for someone with AD (Alzheimer's Disease) you will quickly learn that what might work one day , will not work the next day. So you will need to be create.

First thing to do, is make it a NON-event. Just get all the supplies you need set up BEFORE you start, put something pleasant on TV or play some soothing music and ask her to "join you" for a cup of tea/coffee/milk/whatever and a cookie/cupcake.

Then let her know (gently) when you start that the DOCTOR wanted her to wear the 'ace bandage'. And start to put it on her. If she resists, APPEASE her and tell her you have to call the DOCTOR and get his concurrence. This might just work since most of our elder won't go against the doctor's wishes.

OK.. if you have to call the doctor's office they should be willing to 'play along' and tell her (over the phone) that she must wear the bandage.

If this doesn't work. Try having her help YOU put the bandage on herself. Offer your help to make it more comfortable after she has a chance to help herself. Sometimes the lack of control (on their part) makes someone else helping them seem unbearable!

I am sure that others will add their experiences here, and I am sure I can add more suggestions, so please look for more answers here.

You have/are doing the right thing. Don't lose hope or sight of what you are doing. Your mother may not remember who you are, but you remember her! Make her feel good and you will feel good about ...Read More

You have/are doing the right thing. Don't lose hope or sight of what you are doing. Your mother may not remember who you are, but you remember her! Make her feel good and you will feel good about yourself!

If you live close enough to your mother, then visit often and start to look for help to stay with her, or at least check in on her.

Selfish family members seem to be a 'common theme' and my heart goes out to you. About the best advise I can give you is to enjoy your time with your mother, and honestly it is best NOT to waste en ...Read More

Selfish family members seem to be a 'common theme' and my heart goes out to you. About the best advise I can give you is to enjoy your time with your mother, and honestly it is best NOT to waste energy or time on those that seem NOT to have the time to give you the 'time of day'.

Look for help from 'the family of man' instead of your biological family. We can all sit here and say (honestly) that we wish it didn't happen, that we wished that other family was 'there for us and them' but it may not happen. But all that will do is waste YOUR time and energy when it could be spend doing something better!

I will tel you that when she passes you mind will NOT be filled with what you should have done, but what you DID together! Oh, and to answer your question about whether you should call or not, my answer would be YES. Your mind will be at ease, but expect some unique reactions from 'them'.

I spent more time with my Mother and I know that when she passed, mine was a feeling of great loss, but also relief to know that she was no longer 'lost and suffering'. God rest your soul Mom... I will always love you!

@sumlerc: the 'help me' approach may be just what you need to keep YOU happy and busy, AND she might just join in. My mother was a master crocheter and seamstress and artist, and mathmetician... ...Read More

@sumlerc: the 'help me' approach may be just what you need to keep YOU happy and busy, AND she might just join in. My mother was a master crocheter and seamstress and artist, and mathmetician... but as her skills started to fail her she would also 'refuse' to do anything. So, I 'too' just started a project (and asked if she could help me, because I was stuck. It seemed this worked more often than not. "Bad memory lane" yep... I remember that road, but I still sang a song on it.

BTW... MUSIC is a good diversion too! I would play different styles of music to see what positively affected my mother. We even sang songs during her bath!

All I can say is, it's not an easy road you are traveling, but one that many have gone down before, perhaps others will share their ideas too, and it will be less bumpy a road!! God willing!

I believe there is something better. SisterFriend!

RCT: I agree with you that our system of care is sadly lacking and needs to change. I appreciate your apology but its isn't really necessary. I, too, get very defensive with regards to the care ...Read More

RCT: I agree with you that our system of care is sadly lacking and needs to change. I appreciate your apology but its isn't really necessary. I, too, get very defensive with regards to the care that my mother received in the alzheimer's unit she was in, and try to defend "my" actions with regards to what they SHOULD be doing. I am no longer offended by most statements, so please accept MY apologies if "I" offended you! I agree with the your statements, most are criminal and the best are still dehumanizing!

I think that God equipped us to remain ANGRY so we can try to help others and shorten their learning curve. I think our continued anger with the 'system' will help us get some things changed.

My mother passed away a little over a year ago, and I still come here to help those that I can. Please know that I understand where you are coming from, and I do hope that solutions are forthcoming!

Every time I read about a 'recurring bladder infection' I feel compelled to add my 'two cents' I am not a doctor, but what I am about to recommend worked for years for my mother, and I use it for my ...Read More

Every time I read about a 'recurring bladder infection' I feel compelled to add my 'two cents' I am not a doctor, but what I am about to recommend worked for years for my mother, and I use it for myself AND even my dogs.

The urologist/gynocologist should have done a CULTURE on the urine to see just what 'bacteria' is present. If this hasn't been done, please request that a culture be done. Most time they will NOT do a culture until requested. That being said I also agree that ANYONE using ANTIbiotics, needs to take PRObiotics between antibiotic doses to repopulate the system with GOOD bacteria. NO bacteria in the system is almost as detrimental as the existence of 'bad' bacteria in the system. We (mother and I) used D-Mannose to ward off urinary tract infections which can result in bladder infections. Please take a few minutes to read the information I reposted from one of hundreds of sources online. D-Mannose is available in whole food stores (bulk powder is least expensive) and since it is a powdered sugar, VERY easy to add to cereal, coffee, juice... etc.

I hope this helps... it is certainly worth researching. Again... I am not a doctor but I cared for my mother for 5years and we had much success with this product.

God Bless.

This seems to be a 'common thread' with caregiving. One sibling has the responsiblity of caring, and the others are careless. Find help like "luvmom" said and it will help you. Don't worry abou ...Read More

This seems to be a 'common thread' with caregiving. One sibling has the responsiblity of caring, and the others are careless. Find help like "luvmom" said and it will help you. Don't worry about what your siblings are doing, do what you can with the resources you have, look for outside resources to help you, and when your mother passes YOU will not feel guilty. Yours will be a feeling of peace that YOU did all you could, while you could.

I know the stress and annoyance you are feeling is very draining now, find a local support group where you can SIT with others in the similar situation and talk to them about your concerns.

Coming online is VERY helpful. I have found this website to be a light in the dark for me, and yet I STILL wish there was a live chat room where 'we' could gather to exchange emotions realtime. I will continue to ask for this for the sake of everyone's benefit.

My role was much more involved with my mother's care than my other 3 siblings, and unfortunately I am not concerned with the 'lack of contact' from them since Mom passed away. They didn't talk to me much before, WHAT would they have to discuss with me now???? LOL..... funny... yet sad!

YOU are not alone in your feelings. Please understand that, and try to get some respise as you can. Ask for help from local senior agencies in your area, churches that offer help, and even 'senior daycare' centers may provide you with the rest YOU need.

God bless you for doing all you can.... you won't be sorry.

It's good to see other responses to help our fellow caregivers! Thanks! I want to add a few suggestions to all the great ones added above!

 ...Read More

It's good to see other responses to help our fellow caregivers! Thanks! I want to add a few suggestions to all the great ones added above!

It is very important when we try to get our elders/spouses to participate that they believe it is THEIR idea to do so. I found it helpful to just START a project and then ask Mom for her help! This seemed to work better than just putting something in front of her that she may no longer understand how to begin, even something VERY simple. If they do not know what is expected, nothing may transpire. Just get the ball rolling, (oh I did use a beach ball too and a squiggle ball that was fun to try to hold).

When Mom was still at home, I kept her involved in 'useful household activities' like Jeanne does with the laundry. In fact I had a load of towels that we just fluffed in the dryer then gave to her for folding. BRIGHT colors, and soft fabric seemed to make Mom really happy and she didn't mind doing laundry.

We even 'cooked' together with SAFE utensils, and complete caution. My brothers could not believe that I was letting her cook! My mother cooked her whole life, so the actions were deeply ingrained in her mind. We watched cooking shows, and in the kitchen I would have a 'crock pot' of similar scented items cooking to match what they were cooking on the shows. She would help me put a casserole together, or set the table (melamine dishes, nothing breakable).
Did all this take some planning, yep.....was it worth it... YOU BET!! She ate more, was happier and our home never smelled so good! Oh... and the meal were great... she felt part of the process and ate much much more! (me too unfortunately...lol) I would let her 'wash' the dishes, and when she was done, pop them in the dishwasher. She thought that was where they were kept, so she was none the wiser. AND the dishes were clean too!

When she went to rehab, I couldn't do the same things. But I tried. I brought in the towels, the fabric, the puzzles (numbered on the back for REALLY bad days) and all the other craft projects. I learned quickly that having a 'tea party' that she helped with made it easier to include others. When Mom was not in a social mood, we would sit in her room and get involved in something. REfolding her clothes in her wardrobe was easy for her to do.

On nicer days, I would take her outside for walks (she was in a wheelchair) and our conversations were about plants, and the traffic and the cars in the parking lot and the people passing by. We would talk about the plants in the garden and what we should plant. I brought in a plant book with big pictures that she would go through and we could talk about. I bought "lawn furniture" for the facility, since theirs was sadly lacking in seating for others. It was a worthwhile purchase for all.

On hotter days, we would sit and do 'yarn project's and I had baggies of the project for others to do if they wanted to join in. There were some challenges with this, but even the CNA's (certified assistants) would get involved. I preferred this over everyone just SITTING around! I insisted on COMEDIES on the tv instead of intense movies, news or other 'soap operas.' The television can be used to HELP our elders in rehabs if we insist the programming be proper.

After I became a volunteer for the facility, I was able to include others in projects and not violate any rules of the facility. I would have the activities director approve the projects (when others were concerned), but with regards for my mother, "I" was allowed to pick whatever I wanted to keep her happy while I was there.

The projects we did were not meant to replace therapy. Physical therapists at the facility did not govern the activities that residents could participate in. If there are physical limitations, they should be consulted, but keeping someone involved mentally can be done by any caring individual!

p.s. Grand children and great grand children seem to be the 'energizer bunny' for all the elders, even if they were not related. And younger children don't seem to mind if 'granny' can't do everything right. Kids just want to have FUN!!
The suggestions I make are to help others get over the ackward moments when you visit, or even at home with our loved ones, not to circumvent protocol. God bless.

Rose: How are you doing? You are not alone, my dear....we are here! Waiting to hear from you...

Without more information this is hard to answer. What is your mother's age and health condition? Does she have Alzheimer's or dementia? Is there a reason for the riff? If you know your mother ...Read More

Without more information this is hard to answer. What is your mother's age and health condition? Does she have Alzheimer's or dementia? Is there a reason for the riff? If you know your mothers friend, then sit and talk to her friend.

if your mother is of sound mind and chooses to end a 50 yr friendship... there is little you can do. What would your mother do if you were ending a long LONG friendship?

Although we don't want anyone to be without friends, sometimes things DO happen. Try to be supportive and understanding is all you can do!

I'm surprised you haven't received any answers, so let me start the ball rolling. When my mother stayed with me, I was also challenged to keep her active and happy without making it seem like 'work'.
 ...Read More

I'm surprised you haven't received any answers, so let me start the ball rolling. When my mother stayed with me, I was also challenged to keep her active and happy without making it seem like 'work'.

I started with things that she used to enjoy only in a more creative *(and safer) way. My mother could knit, crochet, sew.. all of that, but her 'skills' greatly diminished, so we modified these activities. She would make balls of yarn for crocheting, and did some 'artistic' crocheting (nothing compared to the afghan's she used to create.

Next I used knitting LOOMS, and even in her later stages she was able to loom hats and small items. The looms we used were from Walmart, so the expense was small.

Painting. Paint by number (or make your own) Use acrylic paints,or even cake decorating supplies to 'paint with'. Clay projects, paper clay is non toxic easy to shape, and fun! Look for similar items on Michaels.com (kids crafts) but do NOT present them that way.

I would buy oversized coloring books, and have my Mother 'trace' the pictures for the "KIDS" to play with. Made her feel like she was doing something for someone ELSE, instead of just something to keep her busy.

Try 'group' projects: get a bunch of recipe cards from a local grocery store, or make your own, and have her plan menus.

Watch the Food channel and see if that sparks any interest in food related activities. You can do mini-muffin decorating, and if anyone 'eats' the tools, they won't hurt themselves. Decorating with food items can be fun too.

Why not try a game of checkers with vanilla and chocolate cookies (mini ones). Or make a 'fruit display' with grapes, and star fruit, anything 'colorful and lively.'

Or go to the 'patten store' and get some old pattern books, have her pick out her favorite! Buy some dollar a yard fabric for her to use on the patterns, use safe scissors for all cutting.

OK.. that will get you started...lol. God bless.

I will mention this again, since the information contained is for UNEXPLAINED fatigue.

The National Institue on Aging has quite a few articles on fatigue that are worth a read.
 ...Read More

I will mention this again, since the information contained is for UNEXPLAINED fatigue.

The National Institue on Aging has quite a few articles on fatigue that are worth a read.

http://www.nia.nih.gov/researchinformation/conferencesandmeetings/unexplainedfatigue

"Tired of Being Tired" by Michael A Schmidt is an informative book on why 'anyone' gets tired, and may be helpful for you to read with regards to your mother's lack of energy. It has opened my eyes regarding my own fatigue, and I am just 58 year old!

I do hope this helps. Why not try to reorient your mothers day? Get up at the same time, but try breakfast in the sunshine, or out in a restaurant.

Review sleep habits, the better we sleep, the better we feel the next day. My mother was active up until the last 5 months of her life! It was difficult keeping her in one place, she wanted to be busy! I could have welcomed a bit more fatigue (big grin). Of course I loved to see her active too!

Make sure your 'home' is fatigue resistant! Plenty of natural light, fresh air, not too cold, not too hot, and (mildly) stimulanting surroundings.

Food allergies can also trigger fatigue. These allergies can develop as our physical bodies change.

I found that the more I looked into why "I" was tired the more I improved my mothers health too! ALL caregivers need to keep their energy up too, so all of us will benefit from this discussion. God Bless.

Lilliputa: your words rang VERY true with me. The therapists in a rehab center should be able to 'handle' dementia patients as well as they would handle a stroke victim!! I love your statement: ...Read More

Lilliputa: your words rang VERY true with me. The therapists in a rehab center should be able to 'handle' dementia patients as well as they would handle a stroke victim!! I love your statement: Get to the bottom of it, by going to the top!

Bev45: Don't allow 'bully tactics' from ANY staff member if your mother is not getting the care/treatment she needs. See to it that ALL of the necessary personnel are involved in your discussion. Insist on a 'care management meeting' immediately!

Our involvement in their care cannot be passive. We must take an ACTIVE role in their care!

God Bless.

There are MANY causes for fatigue in the elderly and I read scores of articles online and have a few books on 'tired of being tired' mostly bought for myself.
 ...Read More

There are MANY causes for fatigue in the elderly and I read scores of articles online and have a few books on 'tired of being tired' mostly bought for myself.

"Tired of Being Tired" by Michael A Schmidt is an informative book on why 'anyone' gets tired, and may be helpful for you to read with regards to your mother's lack of energy.

The National Institue on Aging has quite a few articles on fatigue that are worth a read.

http://www.nia.nih.gov/researchinformation/conferencesandmeetings/unexplainedfatigue.htm#summary

Start with the most basic things in her life. Does she sleep well, eat well, get enough fresh air and sunshine, etc.

Then have her doctor run the proper blood work and tests to check for deficiencies. In SO many cases simple changes make the biggest difference. Have her doctor explain what should/could be done to help her feel more energetic.

Magnesium is one of THE biggest deficiency, as is B6, B12 deficiencies. I am NOT a doctor but I found that making positive changes in my Mothers diet increased her energy when all else failed.

Do some research, talk to her doctor, review "Mom's" bloodwork with the doctor and then ask what (s)he recommends nutritionally.

You can and should keep track of your/Mom's eating habits to see if both of you are getting the proper nutrition. This would help a doctor in recommending supplementation or changes in diet.

I am not a nutritional expert, but I really believe we ARE what we eat! Add that to the 'processing factory' (our body) and the working order of the body and that equals the energy we have to carry on our days.

I hope this helps. And God bless!

Rose: I am SO sorry for your loss. Please do not blame yourself, she died peacefully. I wish I had just the right words to say to ease your pain. I DO understand how you feel, my mother was my b ...Read More

Rose: I am SO sorry for your loss. Please do not blame yourself, she died peacefully. I wish I had just the right words to say to ease your pain. I DO understand how you feel, my mother was my best friend too. Now you have US as your best friends. My mother passed one year ago on May 7th, and I continue to come here to help anyone I can, or comfort those that need it. God bless you and comfort you and your family as your journey continues! Stay with us here, let us lessen your grief. And may she rest in peace, through the mercy of Jesus. Amen.

I agree with Jeanne. It could be early onset Alzheimer's or other dementia type condition, or medication interaction. If this behavior has come on suddenly, I would have him checked for a urinary t ...Read More

I agree with Jeanne. It could be early onset Alzheimer's or other dementia type condition, or medication interaction. If this behavior has come on suddenly, I would have him checked for a urinary tract infection, or other medical condition. If he doesn't want to go to the doctors, have the doctor call HIM and ask if "he can come in to update their records"

If you have 'pictures of other MALE family members' even, him and you in earlier years, be mindful that THESE can be the 'other men' in the house! Even too many MIRRORS can have an adverse effect on those with dementia. They will 'see' people in the house (when it is really themself) and think others are in the house.

A medical exam is in order, preferably one that is well versed in geriatrics.

I do hope this helps!

I am so sorry to hear that your 'sons' don't help. Almost makes me glad I didn't have kids!! But if you have ANY Other family that can help you, please start asking for their help too! Let them kno ...Read More

I am so sorry to hear that your 'sons' don't help. Almost makes me glad I didn't have kids!! But if you have ANY Other family that can help you, please start asking for their help too! Let them know what is going on, and get them involved if you can. God Bless you for all you are doing for your hubbie, your kindness will be returned I am sure!