Member Profile

I understand. I am a professional care giver, a CNA. My main area of concentration is Alzheimer and dementia care. It is for one easy to feel guilty, but you do not need to simply because if you are w ...Read More

I understand. I am a professional care giver, a CNA. My main area of concentration is Alzheimer and dementia care. It is for one easy to feel guilty, but you do not need to simply because if you are weighing out her safety needs you are doing the right thing especially if she tends to wonder off. There are six stages to this disease as it is a form of dementia, a bad one of course as much as I hate to tell you that, but i think honesty is best. Every one progresses differently in the stages and in the behaviors as well. One suggestion I will make is to hire a caregiver and of course one who is trained in Alzheimer's care if you feel that is appropriate and comfortable for your situation of course. I do not know if there is any perfect time to or not to put mom in a memory care facility, I mean I think that depends on your ability to keep her safe at home with no worry per say that she will get out and get hurt or some thing. If you feel like mom is starting to progress in to later stages or is there it may be you need that help now. Talking to your doctor is wise if you have a good doctor you trust and have had a while or is versed in memory care issues is good. I think it all depends on you is how I feel and what you know you are able to and not able to do, if this makes sense to you. I understand the guilt part because this is mom and you love her with all your heart no doubt about it. If it is a facility you checked the state reviews and know people who has family there or get to know pther family member's if you place mom there that will help you some to get to know the staff and other family members. Alzheimer support groups are good because they help you deal with and handle what you are facing and educate you on the steps and so forth. There is reading and study material you can buy or go online and look up related topics and online studies to educate yourself to all of it. Understanding and training is a key in dealing with it - support as well. I mean this is your mom and I have one to and she is very ill herself not with Alzheimer's but other medical conditions, but it runs in my family and so I know the personal side of these issues as well as the professional side and it is tough, but doing the right thing based on your ability and capability o care for mom should be considered with out guilt because you would feel worse if some thing happened that you could not stop while mom was at home alone and I know you do not want that. If you are able or have the means a care giver is a great idea as long as they have experience with this type of care need, that is great to to relieve your fears. You just have a great big heart for mom I can tell and that makes me happy, just remember your health is important to or your stress level in the matter.

Ok - first things first here. You need a break that is for sure. You deserve a break for your own sanity. I always tell people you have to take care of yourself to or really first to carry on. You are ...Read More

Ok - first things first here. You need a break that is for sure. You deserve a break for your own sanity. I always tell people you have to take care of yourself to or really first to carry on. You are doing a wonderful thing to love and care for your family and one day of course you will be glad you did - the "have no regrets" feeling. You have to take breaks WITH OUT GUILT! Not yelling at ya just stressing my point looking after your well being to. Let me say I speak as a professional care giver and a family care giver. I do not know what your ability is to say hire some one to help out like a respite break, but even if you took a few hours a day for you to go out and shop or what ever you have to do to get a break. If you have the ability to have another family member or friend or some one close to you to ask for help do it. I have known family care givers to consult nursing facilities about a respite stay for families to take a vacation or other things they need. This seemed to work good because it was only for what ever time was needed to go away like a week or two or even a day or two. I am not sure how this would work from an insurance point of view or if it would be out of pocket costs etc... but for sanity sake you need to have your breaks to function good in life and remain effective. The facility idea is only suggested if that was something comfortable for you or them or again if you have the means hire some one based on what you can afford for an occasional break. Facilities will have rules whether you agree with them or not about things - they have guidelines to follow so look in to one that may not be so disagreeable to you and make sure of course they have a good state rating, I most certainly agree with that, for your health sake work with some of the good places that make you feel comfortable about their care standards, just saying if this was an option. I hope you can understand where I am coming from about this. Dealing with Alzheimer's and Dementia can be a real challenge trust me I know. This is my main area of concentration as a CNA. I do not know what level of training you have in it other than helping dad, but there are support groups and reading materials that can assist you in the deeper understanding to this horrible disease and how to manage with it, but no matter you still need breaks and some one to help you with the responsibility. My thoughts are what does your doctor suggest to you. I know medicating is not some thing most people want because you do not want to snow dad, but does the doctor have dad on some thing to at least level him out some? When you deal with Alzheimer and dementia issues it is complex because there are so many things to deal with. It goes beyond the inability for dad to reason and understand as the disease progresses and dad could get more agitated or less agitated and the more care that is required. I am sure you most certainly understand a lot of these things by now for as long as you have been dealing with this situation. I think if you consider getting a paid care giver for some respite relief you will began to feel better in time as you start taking time for you. I do not think you are loosing your mind, I think you are stressed out and not feeling good compounds it severely. If you are getting health wise unable to care for dad you may need to simply place him in a quality nursing home for good. You can still be there and participate in his care and every thing else. Guilt is not what you need to feel because you have did every thing one person can do and you venting and getting responses from all of us who understand will help you not only feel better but help you in resources and options out there. So I hope I have helped with my input. I know every one see's things differently dealing with this stuff but I know what I have seen from people and dealing with families and their issues in care settings and at home as well as my own personal feelings with my sick mother who I love so so much, but you may need the support of a care facility. You will find things you will not agree with from all of them - you will not get around that simply because there is no perfect place, how ever there are some really nice places that do great and provide next to perfect or above standard care if you look at the surveys and talk to people in the facilities like other family members to get some feed back - just do some standard research on this matter it will help a lot. Some times the right choices are the hardest and that is no joke by no means, but your no good to them if you get down worse FACT! So please consider your health and what help is needed for all of you including yourself.

I am not 100% sure but I will say that I think that any costs like that can be wrote off just like you can claim medical expenses on your taxes. I say it like this because I have known clients to writ ...Read More

I am not 100% sure but I will say that I think that any costs like that can be wrote off just like you can claim medical expenses on your taxes. I say it like this because I have known clients to write off these expenses or family member's if they help support the costs. I would certainly consult your CPA or tax person. I recommend having a CPA handy at least for asking questions any way even if you do your own taxes or have them done at H&R block or some one like that. A CPA is the best way to go for questions. I use to write off expenses like this when I was an independent care giver service and often had lots of things I bought to have handy for my supplies. I do not see why you can not, but I am not a tax professional, just speaking from some experience. I also know that if your doctor or the doctor for who ever this is for writes a RX for it - it can be claimed even though it is personal expense. So I think from what I remember all doctor RX's can be deducted. Hope this helped! Consult a CPA for questions on the specifics to this matter.

The big questions are 1. does he go to the bathroom while at home with no problem or does he have occasional episodes where he does not make it? A lot of times seniors want to hang on to independence ...Read More

The big questions are 1. does he go to the bathroom while at home with no problem or does he have occasional episodes where he does not make it? A lot of times seniors want to hang on to independence and can be in denial they have an issue. It is a difficult task to convince seniors they need to address these things especially if your the child and participating in the care, because you are family their may be an expectation from dad you accept his way. It can go either way though really. When you say "convince dad" I take you mean dad is probably just being some what stubborn ? Not really knowing your dad personally I think just letting him know that it is difficult on you to have to tend to accidents all the time and for you helping him out with his needs or assistance it would be easier for both of you if he would wear them all the time if this is what he needs. Secondly it would be more dignifying for him if he would. It has to be a benefit to him as well meaning let him know your looking after his dignity as well as the other things such as cutting back on laundry for example - the more accidents the more laundry and pull ups as they are referred to would cut back off laundry, plus encourage him to know that they are just like underwear. The one thing that can be offensive to our seniors is using the word "diaper" it can make one feel just like a kid and of course they are not. Some times it just takes patients to encourage the right thing. You know your dad and how he is about things which is a Hugh plus so you have to work with him based on you know how to reason with him. The other thing is does dad have any dementia related issues that can impair his ability to understand and reason the matter. This can be a factor as well. I of course do not know if dad does or does not, but you do and some times these things can make it a bit more difficult at first. I have dealt a lot with patients or people if you will alert and with dementia conditions and both ways can be difficult to get some one to understand what is best. I think if you can use some tactics that would make him feel dignified and to his benefit about this matter you may be able to sway him in to wearing them all the time. I hope I did not go over board with this but I wanted to give some clear insight on things that can work and what not to do or say. please feel free to tell me more about dad and I will see if I can offer more suggestions that may help you resolve getting dad to wear them. Thanks

Thank you for the warm welcome

There are so many things over the years I can tell interesting stories about and it's amazing how those funny stories are learning experiences as well. I can say I have several people I can share fun ...Read More

There are so many things over the years I can tell interesting stories about and it's amazing how those funny stories are learning experiences as well. I can say I have several people I can share funny stories about. Not all of care giving is sad, it has it moments of humor and those are the things we remember - The good times!

Just want to share my motto which is "Spirit Of Care Giving" This is what I believe in!

I love to care give. That is all there is to it really. Yes it has it's moments, but always love doing it!

Always remember that a kind word goes along way. Keep GOD the closest to your heart. Treat all others as you want to be treated. This will take you along way in life and make you a good role model to ...Read More

Always remember that a kind word goes along way. Keep GOD the closest to your heart. Treat all others as you want to be treated. This will take you along way in life and make you a good role model to all others!!

I am a professional care giver, a CNA to be exact. My input here is simple about care factors for our seniors who suffer from this unfortunate medical condition. I am very well trained in this type of ...Read More

I am a professional care giver, a CNA to be exact. My input here is simple about care factors for our seniors who suffer from this unfortunate medical condition. I am very well trained in this type of care from a LTC and home care prospective. Always provide a well loved surrounding with soft touches and kind words to relieve the anxiety the loved suffers from these conditions which aids in the ability to calm and sooth their fears. Remember that these conditions cause change in many ways and the afflicted person with this condition(s) can not reason as before and understand the problems. This aids the care giver in a more attractive way to the person afflicted to be able to feel safe and more willing to comply with you to keep them safe, especially in the later stages where the reasoning and judgements factors are impaired for good. Soft voices calm the soul. It is some what easy to become over whelmed especially as a family member care giver because it is difficult to accept our loved ones are suffering from these things, but it is effective and makes the day brighter for both the care giver and care reciever. Safety is very very important as specified in this segment. So in addition to all these factors how you handle situations in additions to all the other safety suggestions only makes it that much more safer for every one. Also keeping our loved ones under the Doctors eye closely helps very much so that the appropriate care can be discussed and proper medications if appropriate is provided ta aid in the care. Self education and classes to train in the appropriate manner for care providing is essential. I see alot of times families can not handle the problem or want to take the fullest advantage of the resources available to learn and become quality care providers to the fullest because they do not want to or feel thet already know the answers and some times are to scared to learn what this really about, accepting what is happening and continues to see mom or dad as they always was and the truth is that they are now different in mind set beyond thier control. So learning is effective about these issues and can relieve alot of stress all the way around!