Commented on a discussion 2/8/2012 at 12:08 pm
Hi 2000TWINS, of course your Mom wants it go to to her family but thats the way it goes, its her money for her care. She cannot expect free care nor can you expect you to leave your job. She needs to
...Read MoreHi 2000TWINS, of course your Mom wants it go to to her family but thats the way it goes, its her money for her care. She cannot expect free care nor can you expect you to leave your job. She needs to get a reverse mortgage or sell the home and pay for care for the rest of her life. IF she wants you, you need to make out a caregivers contract with her and she can pay you. You need to get paid, is not HER money actually, its the sister in laws inheritence you will be receiving.. Its common to do and let me tell you, with you giving up your job , once Mom passes, the "family will get equal amounts of whats left.(is any) Now, is that fair for you to give up your job and do it all for free when the other family members(your sister in law) will get the same inheritence? Keep your job and divide the work equally, hire a day person, do whatever you have to, but tell the family, and her, she owes no one an inheritence. And if they want you to take care of her, you are to get paid, or dont do it. Its a huge burden on the family, I do it, but it can be fun and rewarding and of course its the best thing you can do for anyone. With her decline you will lose all of your time to do anything, you cant grocery shop, or even leave the house , forget about your weekends, you wont be able to get up and shower until you shower her first. It will cost you at least $15 an hour just to go out for anything. You have a female MIL and a male husband, they dont do bathroom issues so you will be glued to the house. Believe me, think long and hard before you do this. You should get $15 an hour for 8 hours a day, even thou you will be realy giving 24 hour care. You will need to heat your house to 70 and have a ton of laundry, diaper expenses, etc. I hope we get the same care some day, be smart up front, make out a contract before you loose that job! UNtil her money is gone, she will get no help from medicaid unless she had an irrevocable Trust done for 5 years or more. In our State they tell you that you can keep your house, but then they put a lean on it taking back their money before it can be sold. Good Luck, been there, still there, love my Mom to death and I am here if you have any questions.