Lolliegoogle: I can't believe that your own parent would kick out their parent and place the burden on you. Life is certainly not fair. I also feel sad about how your grandmother must feel, not being wanted by anyone.
Since it seems like your family is playing kick the ball with your grandmother, I think that it is time to have a family meeting about just who is the primary caregiver and should be responsible for all decisions. This person then should have the legal documentation prepared giving them the authority to make decisions for your grandmother and act on her behalf.
As far as the living situation is concerned, you need to find out what your state's Medicaid program eligibility requirements are in order to see if long term care will be paid for by the state. There normally is a maximum amount allowed for monthly income and maximum amount of assets that are allowed before Medicaid will pay for long term care. If your grandmother's assets exceed the maximum amount of long term care, there are ways that you can spend down that sum to meet the state's eligibility for LTC care; however, it normally has to be done over a period of 3 to 5 years, depending on the state, and depending on the amount of money. You may need to see a financial advisor or social worker from the Medicaid department of your state for exact specifics.
Here are some agencies that can help you find out more information, especially relating to your state:
Administration on Aging
www.aoa.gov (1-202-619-0724)
Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (Provides information on location and quality of nursing homes)
www.medicare.gov (1-800-633-4227)
Eldercare Locator (also helps find quality services for seniors)
www.eldercare.gov (1-800-677-1116)
Long-Term Care Ombudsman - each state has their own ombudsman that you can find by searching on the web for State Ombudsman
Department of Health for your State
National Family Caregiver Support Program
www.aoa.gov/prof/aoaprog/caregiver/caregiver.asp (where you can turn for support and assistance)
National Family Caregiver Support Program State Websites (gives you links to NFCSP websites in each state (
www.aoa.gov/prof/aoaprog/caregiver/careprof/state_by _/CG_Stat_Websites.doc
Because each person's situation is unique, it may take a little time to decide what is the best way to proceed, and these agencies can give you options available for different problems.
It seems that your grandmother needs someone who will be her advocate and provide care (regardless of where the care is given) that is in her best interest. Just because she is living with you now doesn't mean that you have to be this person, however, it should be part of the decision-making process on deciding who will be the primary care giver.
Good luck.
Recovery
Hopefully your grandmother's health won't require skilled nursing, which is the most expensive care in long term care. Assisted living facilities are generally less expensive and set up like a residential home, with up to 10 people living in the home and 24 hour caregiver support is a portion of the rent paid.