Answered a question 4/26/2010 at 1:28 pm
I first lived with my mom for about five years in a condominium. Mom basically was there for financial reasons, she could not go on paying rent after my father died in the place that they were living
...Read MoreI first lived with my mom for about five years in a condominium. Mom basically was there for financial reasons, she could not go on paying rent after my father died in the place that they were living. I was dependent on her a lot for transportation and I had a lot of health problems. I was trying to keep working full-time even though I had a lot of health problems. The main problem we had living together was she wanted to have parties all the time, at least once a week, sometimes even twice a week, and a lot of them were on weeknights when I would come home and need to rest. She insisted on the same high standard of living she had when my father was alive, even though we could just barely afford it. Then her health gradually started to get worse, so I was helping her more than she was helping me. Then they moved my job to a crazy location west of town, and the only alternative for me was to move downtown so I could get a direct express bus to my new work location. I knew I would be spending at least an hour each way commuting, so mother decided to move out of state to live with my sister. Mom and my sister did not get along, so she moved into an assisted living apartment and began a romance with a man 10 years older than she was. I finally lost my job due to health problems, and so I moved in with my mother. She had fallen and broken her back, so I was really needed to help take care of her, they would not let her out of the nursing home unless someone was with her 24 hours, even going to assisted living. She insisted on continuing this romance with an older man even though he was going downhill with dementia and Alzheimers. He was both verbally and physically abusive with her. When the assisted living workers saw the physical abuse, they made him go to the nursing home and visits were curtailed there. All of our money went to getting transportation so she could see him every day after he moved to the nursing home. He died in 2008, then we moved to be closer to my sister. I tried taking care of mom alone in apartment for another year, but she started falling down a lot, so she is now in the nursing home. She wants me visiting all the time, even though I live with my disabled sister across town, and I am busy helping my sister with housework and cleaning. I have two people now clammoring for my attention, and an unhappy mother complaining about being in the nursing in a shared room.