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Nancy (Greysfully)
Age: 62
Gender: Female

I came to live with my mom after hearing that she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.
She is smart and funny and quite clear.
I "keep an eye out" for her, but do not invade her independent nature.

I am caring for my mother, Trudy, who is 92 years old, living at home and the primary ailment is heart condition / stroke.

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emjo gave a hug 10/16/2011 at 4:41 pm

(((((((hugs)))))). It helps to vent with others who are or have been where u are. Do come back and share more. My mother is BPD (borderline personality disorder)and my father was alcoholic. This is no ...Read More

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PEGDBEELADY commented 10/16/2011 at 4:22 pm

You said pretty much what many of us feel and so concise! Thanks for identifying emotions that sometimes I can't put into words!

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 12:37 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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anonymous11306 commented 7/24/2010 at 2:25 am

Hi, how are you doing?

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anonymous11306 gave a hug 3/6/2010 at 11:57 pm

Just thinking of you and sending you a hug.

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Greysfully posted 2/24/2010 at 6:59 pm

Thanks Sis! I am happy you are here too! I have thought many hours and days about this question you ask "us". I think we could have some fruitful conversations about how we got here taking care of parents who couldn't be parents to us. I do appreciate the invitation to do it here, rather on the public wall. There ARE a couple of "nut jobs" out there! LOL! I don't know where to begin with my thoughts about this. But, I can say for now, I don't know HOW I got here, but I know for sure it is for a good reason. We can share, and I would love that. I am quite isolated, and have a couple of friends, but they even admit they cannot imagine being in my shoes. For me, there is no "getting out:, there is only "going through". I am a Buddhist in Nature........his teachings help me. Love, kindness, compassion. Not so different than other religions, just that his teachings ring true for me.
I am 60, I have 2 beautiful, successful daughters that live in Florida. ANd 2 amazing fortunate grandchildren who have parents that PARENT, if you get my meaning! lol You and I were not so fortunate. My mom was alcoholic for as long as I can remember. She is a bright, funny, compassionate person. But alcoholics have "flip sides", and then there is the denial.
It has been a hard life, but I am a strong woman........with many things to be grateful for. I am not saying this is easy........FAR FAR from it. I take anti-depressants (most of my life), and have a hard time with self worth. BUT, ya know, my mom has become my teacher....unbeknowst to her....I have learned to forgive. I did have a Plan B, but it would have been to involve myself in a relationship much worse than this one. I made the right choice. I live in her house...in a beautiful bedroom with a huge picture window that connects me to the "outside".......it is my sanctuary, and I spend A LOT of time in here!!!!! With my beautiful greyhounds, Pretty and Studley. Compassionate loving creatures. Just to touch their sweet heads, and look in to their eyes so full of grace, brings me back to myself.
Let's talk some more. I would LOVE it! My name is Nancy.

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SecretSister commented 2/24/2010 at 6:11 pm

Without posting to the whole forum and having some psychological mumbo jumbo pop up, I ask, how did we, who grew up with alcoholic/whatever parents, end up being their caregiver? I'm thinking I wis ...Read More

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Greysfully posted 2/24/2010 at 5:57 pm

Thank you!

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SecretSister commented 2/24/2010 at 5:53 pm

I wasn't trying to change things, I just wanted to emphasize that I think you're full of grace! I think you're an angel too. Thanks for your compassion and love for others! You are a blessing ...Read More

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SecretSister commented 2/24/2010 at 5:35 pm

Thank you!

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wittnitt gave a hug 2/24/2010 at 4:38 pm

I think I could have written that myself. My respite is the fact that I have a full time time on top of it all. We will make it through somehow.
Good Luck

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Greysfully posted 2/22/2010 at 4:02 pm

Yeah, I know, Mizunder,
Now it is all about the $ that it will cost to replace MEEEEEEEE!!!!! LOL

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mizunderstood10 gave a hug 2/22/2010 at 12:46 pm

I just read your post about your depression and wanting to get away. Please try not to feel guilty. I know that's easier said than done but you have to have a life too, sweetie.

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Greysfully posted 2/17/2010 at 4:21 pm

so, I am little confused about wall to wall, and THE wall. I guess it is like Facebook. Write on "The Wall" or send a private message?
And we are on the "private wall? Is that right?

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mizunderstood10 commented 2/17/2010 at 4:13 pm

Greys, this site has been so good for me. It's so great knowing there are people who can relate to you. It definitely brightens my days.

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mizunderstood10 gave a hug 2/17/2010 at 1:41 pm

Nothing wrong with that. I may try to get a nap in today between Depend changings. :) Sweet dreams!!

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Greysfully posted 8/3/2009 at 2:26 pm

Hi ann,
Mom fractured her (other) hip a couple of months back. I think the bone broke, and then she fell. After traction, surgery, acute care and sub-acute (a month and a half) she was home agai ...Read More

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N1K2R3 gave a hug 8/2/2009 at 5:01 pm

Hi Greysfully, Yes, I am familiar with the occurances that happen before the end. My father died of Ischemic Cardiomyopathy with CHF. Died in his sleep......wonderful man, a lawyer who gave of his ...Read More

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Anne commented 4/29/2009 at 10:48 pm

Dear Nancy, I was drawn to your site again, by your post on "Nursing Homes Becoming a Stop..." Just wonder how things are going, as I haven't seen you post in awhile. And how's your Mom? Am I to a ...Read More

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Anne commented 3/30/2009 at 12:03 pm

Dear Greysfully, I didn't see your post to me today, until I came here. Notifications only go when you write on my post or on a thread. This is your private wall, where others can go and see, but d ...Read More

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Greysfully posted 3/7/2009 at 8:56 pm

I honor you...
I honor the place within you
where the entire universe resides.
I honor the place within you
of love and light, of peace and truth.
...Read More

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Anne commented 3/7/2009 at 8:27 pm

Nancy, what does Namaste' mean? And who is Pretty? Just curious... lol Good luck.

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Anne commented 3/7/2009 at 7:30 pm

P.S. I won't necessarily see messages you post for me here, unless I happen to look on your wall. No notification to me is made when you post here. I did post some follow to your questions on the CH ...Read More

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Anne commented 3/7/2009 at 7:23 pm

Nancy, I would talk to her Doctor Monday! I would get that form from the DMV, and take it to him and share your concerns. Can't see? Can't hear? Shouldn't drive!!!!! He can tell her not to, let ...Read More

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Greysfully posted 3/7/2009 at 6:08 pm

Anne, we live in NY state.
My mom has signed the HIPAA form, giving permission for her doc to talk with me. Is this what you ate talking about? and yes, the site would be helpful. Thank you An ...Read More

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Commented on a discussion 10/16/2011 at 4:14 pm

The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?

Depleted, thick, heavy, full yet hungry, sad, stuck, nauseous, hopeless and afraid. Thank you for asking. That is how I feel today.

Gave a hug to anonymous11306 9/11/2011 at 11:14 am

Haven't been here in a very long time..............I do hope you are doing well!

Answered a question 4/7/2010 at 5:59 pm

My dad hasn't had a shower in over 6 months, and he is starting to have body odor. He refuses to shower, what should I do?

MY MOM hasn't showered in a YEAR! and I never see any indication that she washes..............I can't hug her anymore because she smells so bad.

Answered a question 2/26/2010 at 4:54 pm

Does anyone else deal with depression from being a primary caregiver?

I know alllllllllll those feelings!!!!!!! Think SPRING!!!!!!!!!! KNow that everything is going to be all right! You are doing just fine!

Gave a hug to tinapick 2/26/2010 at 4:33 pm

I like it tooooooooooooooo!!!!!! lol

On My Mind... 2/24/2010 at 6:59 pm

On My Mind... 2/24/2010 at 5:57 pm

Thank you!

Wrote on SecretSister's wall 2/24/2010 at 5:56 pm

Just wanted to add that I used to find rum bottles in my mom's desk drawer at work.....in her kindergarten room! DANG!

Answered a question 2/24/2010 at 5:48 pm

Who else has worked hard to overcome past abuse and now finds themself having to re-live struggles with parent once again? Anyone angry?

I have adopted greyhounds for 15 years, so that is why I spell it Greysfully, or sometimes Greytfully..........but I like Gracefully toooooooooooooo!!!!! Night night!

Wrote on SecretSister's wall 2/24/2010 at 5:45 pm

I spell it that way because I have adopted greyhounds for 15 years...............so I call myself, Greysfully. Funny right? Have a good night!

Gave a hug to SecretSister 2/24/2010 at 4:19 pm

well said!

On My Mind... 2/22/2010 at 4:02 pm

Yeah, I know, Mizunder,
Now it is all about the $ that it will cost to replace MEEEEEEEE!!!!! LOL

Gave a hug to anonymous11306 2/21/2010 at 3:07 pm

Answered a question 2/21/2010 at 2:34 pm

Does anyone else deal with depression from being a primary caregiver?

Thank you Crow. Is it time for a glass of wine yet?

On My Mind... 2/17/2010 at 4:21 pm

so, I am little confused about wall to wall, and THE wall. I guess it is like Facebook. Write on "The Wall" or send a private message?
And we are on the "private wall? Is that right?

Wrote on mizunderstood10's wall 2/17/2010 at 3:59 pm

THANKS! And THAT is funny! I should spend more time here.......a chuckle or two would brighten my "daze"!!!!!
I also have 2 WONDERFUL greyhounds....hence "greysfully"...lol...be well my friend ...Read More

Gave a hug to nins 2/17/2010 at 12:25 pm

Wine and sleep are my salvation at this point!!!!!!!!!! That and NETFLIX!!!!!!!!!! Keep your chin up! Nancy

Gave a hug to mizunderstood10 2/17/2010 at 12:23 pm

I sleep A LOT!!!!! lol

Answered a question 2/17/2010 at 12:20 pm

Does anyone else deal with depression from being a primary caregiver?

I take care of mom by myself, as well. I am thinking of visiting my daughters in Florida, but I am consumed with fret and guilt.
Most of the time, to "get away", I just go in my room, watch Netf ...Read More

Started a discussion 10/13/2009 at 6:36 pm

CHF in the winter.....HELP!!!!

My mom started to get cold in the late summer. Now it is in the high 40's outside during the afternoon, and will be in the low 30's at night. She is freezing her ars off! She took a real body slam of ...Read More

On My Mind... 8/3/2009 at 2:26 pm

Answered a question 7/31/2009 at 10:48 am

Is there a problem with a 90 year old falling asleep in their chair many times during the day, and then sleeping all night?

HI Norene,
I went to look who you are.....you write so well. Thank you for your comments and help. Do you know of CHF first hand? You seem to. I am learning as I go along. I read alot, and of ...Read More

Answered a question 7/30/2009 at 1:15 pm

Is there a problem with a 90 year old falling asleep in their chair many times during the day, and then sleeping all night?

Yes, and thank you.
What kind of "sick" do you mean?

Answered a question 7/29/2009 at 12:55 pm

Is there a problem with a 90 year old falling asleep in their chair many times during the day, and then sleeping all night?

Hi BJ,
My mom is 90, and I live with her. She has CHF. As time passes, she sleeps more and more. She will just nod out in her chair, mouth wide open (lol), or she will fall asleep with her book open.
...Read More

Started a discussion 7/22/2009 at 12:17 pm

I just finished reading "Elders and controlling behavior"...

I am reading, "When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends", by Victoria Secunda. UH...WOW!!!! Me at 59, and my mom at 90...I should have read this YEARS ago! Just a share!

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