Just got finished reading the need to vent discussion. I liked the poem you wrote about the fallen angel, and I was so glad you heard Amazing Grace coming out of your mom's bedroom. Shortly after my
...Read MoreJust got finished reading the need to vent discussion. I liked the poem you wrote about the fallen angel, and I was so glad you heard Amazing Grace coming out of your mom's bedroom. Shortly after my grandfather died, my grandmother swears she saw him standing at the foot of their bed smiling at her. Then, around the same time, my mother was at home recovering frrom a mild heart attack, and she also saw my grandfather, standing in her living room. I absolutely believe that things happen exactly when they are supposed to, and that beautiful, uplifiting song was played especially for you today because you were at a breaking point. No one on earth can ever understand what you're going through, watching your mother die of cancer and be in severe pain every single day. But God knows. You know it, and hopefully she knows it. People like to toss God's name around like He's some wizard or great big santa claus, who does what He's told when He's told or peforms miracles at the drop of a hat. They say it like it's nothing, no big deal. Or they go the opposite direction, like what happened to you, and say that you're just not a good enough person if God didn't do what you asked of Him. Both sides are dead wrong, deliberately cruel, and just plain ignorant. I have also been hurt very badly by people like this, and just can't bring myself to go to church anymore. I made the decision to just study the Bible on my own, and use that as my only source on God's Authority. It was the best decision I ever made. When I pray, I try not to ask for things, because I don't know if they are His will or not. I do know, though, that His will is perfect, no matter what His will is for my life it will be the absolute best thing for me, better than anything I could ever ask of Him. It was not his will that my grandfather be healed of his pancreatic cancer. it was not his will that my mother be spared her uterine cancer. It was His will that all of this would draw me and my father closer together than we have ever been before. My father is now my best friend, and we absolutely rely on each other for support and love while we both struggle to deal with his mother and mine. That relationship would never have happened without all of the health problems in our family. I will never claim to know exactly why these things happen-I would be arrogant and just plain stupid to do that. I will never say that this is what I would have chosen for my life, to constantly clean up vomit and deal with two of the most self-centered human beings on the planet. But I do know that all of this has brought me closer to God, and has drawn me to His word to help myself discover His purpose for me. Every night, my prayer starts the same way, "I'm so tired." But I have no doubt whatsoever that I am doing exactly what He wants me to do, and as long as I grab on to His powerful hand and trust Him with all of my might, everything will work out exactly the way it should. All of the wonderful people on this website have been an absolute Godsend, literally. I come here for comfort, for stress relief, and yes, absolutely for venting. I will pray for you, nutz, and your beautiful treasure of a daughter, pray for comfort and strength. And, know this. There is a group of people in the Bible known as the Bereans. They didn't trust anything any prophet said-as soon as anyone claimed to speak for God, they went and grabbed the Scriptures and checked it out for themselves to see if what the prophet said was accurate. Because we have the Bible, we can do the same. God loves it when we search Him out, when we search high and low for the truth. He guarantees that if we look for Him, we will find Him.
I've rambled enough, I guess. Get some much needed sleep, my dear Roadrunner, and tomorrow we will continue our perusal of the Acme catalog and come up with new and wacky things to help us in our lives. Until then, I'm off to bounce off of my anvil. Take care
C