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Elizza (Elizza)
Age: 69
Gender: Female

I am a consultant and address issues that affect seniors, aging and caregivers. It has become my passion as I learn more and see the need to help make the lives of seniors better.

I am caring for my mother, Cris, who is 97 years old, living at home.

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:47 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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195Austin commented 8/8/2010 at 6:30 pm

Thank you for the hug I think those of us who have been through so much can be helpful plus I feel that I have so many friends here,

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dmvgirl gave a hug 7/16/2010 at 9:29 am

The same could be said for most people on this forum. We all are trying to do the right thing for the right reasons. So thank you and have a wonderful weekend:)

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middlechild47 gave a hug 7/16/2010 at 8:34 am

Thank You lizza! This helps, There is more to the story of course. My mother is 70. She sold her house about 6 years ago and moved out of state. Three of my sibblings lived next door and took care of ...Read More

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middlechild47 gave a hug 7/16/2010 at 8:18 am

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wiggyann gave a hug 7/13/2010 at 7:04 am

Hi Elizza,

My mother take coumadin which is a blood thinner. So, she has to have her blood taken a lot. They have somthing that her doctor could put her on if he would that is a plastic f ...Read More

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Answered a question 9/28/2010 at 12:25 pm

Mom's hearing is pretty much gone, but she won't wear her hearing aids. How can I convince her?

Hearing aids are difficult to get used to and a good visit with an audiologist would go a long way. They are uncomfortable,, at first, hearing is amplified and so are all the other sounds that we aut ...Read More

Answered a question 9/9/2010 at 10:36 am

How can I tell my father his Alzheimer's is progressing, he needs more care and should not be driving when he feels like he is fine?

It is usually best and most effective if a professional tells him - his doctor or spiritual advisor.

Answered a question 9/9/2010 at 10:34 am

I have been married to my husband with Alzheimer's for 40 years and yet he routinely asks where am I or says that he is waiting for his wife. How can I cope?

Ed is probably right about the physical side, but it seems you mean the personal hurt of not being remembered. For your husband's sake, when he asks for his wife, tell him she will be here soon. For ...Read More

Answered a question 8/26/2010 at 9:54 am

My mom is terminally ill and fading fast. My dad doesn't want to face death and will not make a will. What can I do to persuade him?

Could you draw up a basic will so that both your parents are covered and ask them to sign it? I am not suggesting you fool your father - show him the will and tell him this will preserve his assets r ...Read More

Answered a question 8/26/2010 at 9:52 am

My mom needs a hip replacement, but is 100 lbs overweight. She doesn't exercise, and will not change her bad eating habits. What do I do?

If the doctor can help your mother do the best thing for herself, then great! You really can't do anything for your mother but accept her decision. We all have a right to our own decisions - good or ...Read More

Answered a question 8/25/2010 at 9:49 pm

My grandmother refuses to at and when she does she throws it up. How can I get my grandmother to eat?

Thanks for sharing your good news, Laura! Not every day will be like this, but don't get down - you will find that there are more good days than bad days. Your grandma is grieving and as time goes ...Read More

Answered a question 8/24/2010 at 11:41 am

My grandmother refuses to at and when she does she throws it up. How can I get my grandmother to eat?

You are very grown up and sweet, Laura. Yes, I think you are handling it right! You can also tell your Grandma how much you care and that she is important to you.
...Read More

Answered a question 8/19/2010 at 10:41 am

My father is dealing with depression and has given up since his cancer. How can I help him from far away?

Often people who are depressed think they are not important, Maybe it would be a good idea to tell your father why and how he is still important in your life as an adult. That he helps you think ou ...Read More

Answered a question 8/15/2010 at 8:22 pm

When will my older brother step up the plate and help me care for our 85-year-old father?

I am sorry your dad has passed away! He is your father and such an important part of you. But, perhaps it is also a blessing. And you can know that you did the right thing. Good for you! I hope ...Read More

Answered a question 8/8/2010 at 6:35 pm

How do I deal with resentment form my childhood to give my mother the respect she deserves as she ages?

Interesting and surprising! We never know when we are going to take positive steps. Good for you, GlendaLee.

Gave a hug to 195Austin 8/8/2010 at 5:40 pm

Good for you! People around you are better for all you have done. They may not know it, but they are. Congratulations.

Answered a question 8/6/2010 at 10:22 am

What is the best thing to say to an elder who has been given a terrible diagnosis?

How about a second opinion?

Answered a question 8/6/2010 at 10:16 am

My father passed away 1 week ago my mom depended on him for everything. How do I help her when I'm having a hard time dealing myself?

I agree with n1k2r3 - Share your sadness. Don't feel you have to be emotionally strong for your mom You are probably taking care of meals and other necessaries, but you don't have to hide your feelings.
...Read More

Answered a question 8/4/2010 at 6:51 pm

How do you deal with an elderly dementia patient who thinks someone is coming in at night and stealing her clothes?

Great words to live by DanielRomero "GET TO A BETTER PLACE"

Answered a question 8/3/2010 at 12:17 pm

How do I deal with resentment form my childhood to give my mother the respect she deserves as she ages?

I agree that unresolved issues affect almost everything we do and if they can be addressed and understood - terrific! But I do not agree that they must
...Read More

Answered a question 7/29/2010 at 11:37 am

I'm getting ready to move my mother in with us and I don't know how to prepare. How do I help her and deal with it myself?

Why is your mother moving in? Her situation makes a huge difference in how you prepare. Do you need special safety features added to your house? Will she become part of your family? What will her ...Read More

Answered a question 7/27/2010 at 12:06 pm

Mom has a very rare illness with no cure and no medications to help. It just gets worse. She is very depressed and has lost the will to live. What can I do?

We received a message recently from a caregiver who reminded us it is OK to show fear, sadness, being unable to cope at times - that this can really be a help to the patient. They can see that their ...Read More

Answered a question 7/23/2010 at 10:27 am

We are putting my 87-year-old grandma in a nice facility, so why do I feel guilty?

I think we always feel bad when we do that, but sometimes it is the very best thing we can do. How does your grandma feel about it? Does she understand? I agree - visit, bring flowers, let her know ...Read More

Answered a question 7/22/2010 at 2:11 pm

My father is in a VA nursing home but his health care is not covered by the VA. He owes about $8,000 after a hospital stay and more bills are piling up. Should I ignore them?

Are you sure about the kids being responsible for the bills, ezcare?

Answered a question 7/21/2010 at 5:29 pm

My parents live with me and my mother is extremely manipulative when we're alone together. How do I handle her manipulative behavior?

Does it matter if your father understands his wife is manipulative? Even if he sees it, he will probably support her and ask that you do whatever she manipulates you to do. My guess is that the real ...Read More

Answered a question 7/21/2010 at 5:25 pm

My mother constantly peels the skin from her head. The doctor gave her her cream to put on it, but she takes it off. I'm worried she will dig a hole in her scalp. What do I do?

Maybe a second opinion so you can best determine if there is a physical cause. If it is nervousness, you can do two things: cover her head - with a bandage if localized - or with a fun hat; and, i ...Read More

Answered a question 7/20/2010 at 6:18 am

When will my older brother step up the plate and help me care for our 85-year-old father?

ChristyG - I don't want to give your brother a pass, but sometimes men simply cannot face their mother's illness. It is possible that you two could be closer than ever before if you can share this sa ...Read More

Answered a question 7/16/2010 at 11:40 am

My mother-in-law recently started telling other family members that I've been stealing from her. This has left me perplexed, saddened and hurt. I would never do such a thing. What's the best course of action in this situation?

I agree that this is a common accusation of people with dementia. But not everyone knows that. I would add to the above comments: talk with the family members that are being told this accusation. ...Read More

Answered a question 7/16/2010 at 11:36 am

I just moved in with my parents so I could help take care of my Mom who has Alzheimer's. We now suspect my father abuses her. What do I do?

There are adult protective services in all counties and you can contact them.; I think you will find that you can file a report anonymously.
If there is abuse, you certainly want to stop it.
...Read More

Answered a question 7/16/2010 at 9:25 am

When will my older brother step up the plate and help me care for our 85-year-old father?

Susan spoke for a lot of us!

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