Commented on a discussion 7/2/2011 at 10:46 pm
One thing that made my situation easier.....about 10-15 years before my parents died, my father added my name to some of their bank accounts (checking, savings, a money market). He did this "in case t
...Read MoreOne thing that made my situation easier.....about 10-15 years before my parents died, my father added my name to some of their bank accounts (checking, savings, a money market). He did this "in case they dropped dead" ..so that I could take care of the funeral and stuff. I never abused it or even tapped their money until dad got dementia (mom died first) and I had to start paying his bills for him out of his accounts....fortunately, I was already a legal signatory, so it made it easy....I just wrote and signed the checks for his assisted living place, medications, taxes, and utilities. Fortunately, they were able to trust me completely. There have been some horror stories on this list, of other siblings absconding with the parents' money when the elders added the children's names to their accounts. I would not do that to my worst enemy, let alone my parents. We did not always see eye-to-eye, but they were my parents, nevertheless. There are some things I did out of a sense of family duty. When my father got dementia, he got to the usual stage where they begin to confabulate...and I knew it was time for assisted living. I just jumped right in an arranged everything for him. It was a very unpleasant time in my life and I can sympathize with everyone on this list. However, I was FIRM and was not going to allow him to manipulate me like the parents on this list are doing. I dragged him around to visit three assisted living places and then told him that he should choose the one "he liked best" - so that he would feel it was HIS decision and not mine. Hubby and I packed up his stuff and moved him....and then he was in a secure place with 24/7 supervision. I was so relieved that he was safe and getting proper nutrition and care.