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Donna (dgharris)
Age: 63
Gender: Female

I'm 62, divorced, 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren. I live with mom who is 91 in May. I was feeling isolated, depressed, and felt I had no life. I felt so overwhlemed and stressed to the max. Had no idea what my life would look like once this chapter was over, but now I have a passion to use my experience and share what works and doesn't work with other family caregivers.

I'm no expert, but living with mom for over 6 years I sure have experience dealing with a lot of different areas o...Read More

I am caring for my mother, Alice, who is 93 years old, living at home.

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CountessVS gave a hug 1/27/2012 at 1:23 pm

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chillout gave a hug 1/22/2011 at 12:27 pm

The hardest job I've ever done.

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JonathninOregon gave a hug 12/5/2010 at 8:45 am

Someone once said that there are two kinds of things in the world: things you can do something about right now, and things you can't. As caregivers, we must take responsibility for seeing to our own s ...Read More

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newatthis63 gave a hug 12/4/2010 at 7:22 pm

I know how you feel--I thought I was the only one with those thoughts.

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 12:48 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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Marcia gave a hug 7/18/2010 at 12:46 am

Thanks for you sweet remark about keeping God in your circle. Truly that is the best way to stay positive and cheerful. We all will be old someday. It's like the last great test. But what a great ...Read More

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dgharris posted 5/4/2010 at 5:23 pm

I am taking my life now one day at a time and I am more able to cope. I am learning to detach myself from mom and also learning that I too am an individual who has rights.
...Read More

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Riksma328 gave a hug 4/19/2010 at 8:17 pm

hang tough!! :)

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Anne commented 5/2/2009 at 9:08 am

Donna, it is so encouraging to see your latest post. Glad you have God in your heart. What would we do without him??? Have a blessed weekend! Anne

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Anne commented 4/7/2009 at 10:01 am

My mom watches a lot of TV, and reads the newpaper, too. A lot of negativity there... Then she complains that she never has time for anything... People don't realize their choices have consequences ...Read More

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Anne commented 4/6/2009 at 1:45 pm

You're welcome Donna! Thank you for being a part of my life, too. I don't know about easier, but with God's help, all things are possible. We can encourage each other in the Lord. I've heard a lot ...Read More

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dgharris posted 4/6/2009 at 12:40 pm

thank you. I am reading the book Elder Rage and it is helping me to see that this behavior is kind of normal with the elderly but it is sooo hard to take especially when we are sacrificing our familie ...Read More

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NAUSEATED commented 4/6/2009 at 10:15 am

Dear Donna, I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there, we are here for you. Your Mom just needs to get over the fact that you must have some time to yourself. Try not to let the fact that it bothe ...Read More

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dgharris posted 4/6/2009 at 9:23 am

Dear Anne, I know the truth now. But I don't look at people for what it appears to be. I am learning finally who God is and who I am but it is hard to comprehend after growing up think God was going ...Read More

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Anne commented 4/6/2009 at 8:22 am

Dear Donna, I can relate to so much of what you say. I grew up hearing, "Children should be seen and not heard," but have since learned that it was a lie!!! My parents were prominent socially, and p ...Read More

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Anne commented 4/6/2009 at 8:14 am

Dear Donna, Thank you for writing back to me this morning. After posting, I went to sleep praying for you last night, and I woke up this morning praying for you, and for some of the other dear ladies ...Read More

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Anne commented 4/6/2009 at 1:28 am

Dear Donna, I understand most all of the things you have written about: feeling overwhelmed, stressed, isolation, depression; even hopelessness and despair. But...that has changed. I have found hop ...Read More

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Anne commented 4/6/2009 at 12:50 am

Dear friend, dg, I so understand what you are going through. And I pray I can help, by God's grace that is. One, the Lord is our helper. He says, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
...Read More

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dgharris posted 3/29/2009 at 5:56 am

This is my first time and I feel so sneaky to have to do this in the wee early hrs. I feel like a bad little girl. I am at my wits end trying to get mom to get a hearing aide so I don't loose my heari ...Read More

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Asked a question 7/4/2011 at 7:43 pm

How do I care for my 93-year–old mother who has hearing loss?

She has the tv to the highest volume and shows no concern for my well being at all. My head literally just pounds. Please someone tell me how I can help this situation where no one gets hurt. It seems ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 6/28/2011 at 9:39 am

I'm caring for my parents, and I am overwhelmed. What can I do?

Oh, you have hit the nail on the head. Oh my gosh I have the Emotional Blackmail book that I purchased back in 2002. I just took it off my shelf and will reread it. I remember that it was an awesome book.
...Read More

Gave a hug to jeannegibbs 6/28/2011 at 7:42 am

What is wrong with my mind. I just cannot come up with comebacks, these are good. Thank you!

Answered a question 12/8/2010 at 12:03 pm

I took care of my wife for ten years, and she finally went into assisted living. I visit her most every day, but now I have no time for myself anymore. What can I do?

I agree with Lilli. If you cannot afford to hire a caregiver, could a neighbor or a church friend or just a friend go in ever so often to give you a break. I also read the comment about having the p ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 12/4/2010 at 8:44 am

10 Caregiver Confessions: Secrets We Aren’t Proud Of

Oh my goodness....most of these thoughts just went through my head yesterday and the day before. I hate to say this but I am so glad I am not the only one who is going through this. I felt so alone ...Read More

Gave a hug to Marcia 7/18/2010 at 11:52 am

Thank you Marcia....I could not do what I am doing without knowing there is someone who knows and understands my situation. Doing it alone would be an absolute dreaded situation, but knowing there ar ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/18/2010 at 11:47 am

8 Easy Ways to Improve Your Mood

Hello again,
I was talking out of exhaustion when I wrote my last post. I since then have rested up and see things a tad different today. We didn't cause it, we certainly can't cure it, we can' ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/17/2010 at 2:59 pm

8 Easy Ways to Improve Your Mood

My ONLY hope for taking care of myself and my mood is keeping God in my circle. It is only with Him that I will survive.

Wrote on Texnell's wall 7/17/2010 at 2:55 pm

I struggle daily letting go of guilt. I was not like this before I came to live with my mother. I am not the same person. I just hope I come out ok on the other end. Sometimes I worry what I will ...Read More

Wrote on coronalite55's wall 7/17/2010 at 2:52 pm

I understand exactly how you feel. I am trying the breathing right now BUT do not feel better. I have lived with and taken care of my 92 year old mother for going on 8 years now. I believe I have h ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/10/2010 at 8:27 am

Handling Criticism From Your Family

Criticism is something that family caregivers have dealt with for a long time while caring for aging parents . Thank you for this great article. I will pass it on to others. DH

Answered a question 6/14/2010 at 8:49 pm

My mother has a loss of hearing and always has the TV on full volume. She always makes me feel guilty for asking her to turn it down. She refuses to have a hearing test. Can you help me?

Thank you guys...this has been a big help. I will pass it on to others also. Love ya all! DH

On My Mind... 5/4/2010 at 5:23 pm

I am taking my life now one day at a time and I am more able to cope. I am learning to detach myself from mom and also learning that I too am an individual who has rights.
...Read More

Asked a question 4/15/2010 at 9:28 pm

My mother has a loss of hearing and always has the TV on full volume. She always makes me feel guilty for asking her to turn it down. She refuses to have a hearing test. Can you help me?

I live with and care for my 92 yr old mother. she has a hearing loss and always has TV on full volume and when I ask her to turn it down she tries to make me feel like its all my fault. Refuses to hav ...Read More

Asked a question 7/9/2009 at 9:44 am

Is there a form that we can use to plan out our funeral down to the service ahead of time to take the burden off our children?

Asked a question 5/27/2009 at 11:11 am

I have done everything, how come I still don't have it all together when it comes to caring for my mom?

I have a question for all of you…my one sister would like to know why when I have had so much support with the Alzheimer support group, I have done lots of research on the aging process and have atten ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 5/7/2009 at 10:35 pm

How do I prove to siblings that I need some time off from caregiving?

My two sisters help out when they are available but when I really need them they say I need to work with their schedule. they seem to forget I have a schedule too but oh we have a free life and we ar ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 5/2/2009 at 8:46 am

Getting Caregiver Support When You Have No Time

I know there are blessings in the trials. We probably wouldn't know they were blessings if we didn't have the trials. I know it takes a lot to be a caregiver but I do not feel like an angel. I do kn ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 5/1/2009 at 9:06 pm

Getting Caregiver Support When You Have No Time

thank you for those words. sometimes I don't feel that I am willing but in my heart I know I better be. i grew up in the church, my dad was the pastor so to see and watch and to hear all these things ...Read More

Wrote on beebee's wall 4/6/2009 at 5:30 pm

Hi BEEBEE, I have only been writing a about a week and it was sent to me by God. I too put in the search engine just looking for help with my 91 yr old mom's hearing problem that is driving me up th ...Read More

Wrote on Anne's wall 4/6/2009 at 1:40 pm

Dear Anne, I know one problem that keeps us in turmoil here in the home is that mom always has the news which is 99% negative news. she listens to it endlessly because the ends times are here and we ...Read More

On My Mind... 4/6/2009 at 12:40 pm

On My Mind... 4/6/2009 at 9:23 am

Wrote on Anne's wall 4/6/2009 at 5:32 am

Hi Anne, thank you so much for this. Yes, I feel at times I must be more demeanted than mom. I feel I have lost my reasoning power. I thanked God yesterday on the way home from church for never leavin ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 4/5/2009 at 5:18 pm

Getting Caregiver Support When You Have No Time

dont have a laptop to post in the bathroom. tried doing it late or early and she says I either keep her up or wake her up. figure that. I close my door, no light and speakers off....like I said I am ...Read More

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