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Denise (denise55)
Age: 57
Gender: Female

I am a very private person and have very few friends,I have 2 adult children and 6 grandchildren. Just recently moved my mother with me because my 2 sisters where not checking on her and adult protective services were going to place her in a home.

I am caring for my mother, Rosa, who is 82 years old, living at my home and the primary ailment is alzheimer's / dementia.

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On My Mind...

I just want to wish everyone on the site Happy Holidays!! Got through Thanksgiving now here comes Christmas and the new year!!

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mhmarfil commented 12/30/2011 at 6:38 pm

Happy new year to you! how's your caregiving duties? are u done with it? or is it just starting all over again with another member of the family needing u 24/7? whatever your situation is, give yours ...Read More

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mariesmom commented 9/1/2011 at 6:29 pm

Did you ever find a solution to paying for your Moms eventual funeral? I am going through this planning now, as my 89 year old Mom with Alzheimers whom I care for at home has begun Hospice. let me kno ...Read More

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jujupeterson gave a hug 1/6/2011 at 1:35 am

I feel your pain. Hang in there!

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Nataly1 gave a hug 12/29/2010 at 2:55 pm

God bless

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linda09 gave a hug 12/25/2010 at 8:06 pm

ure not alone , theres bunch of us are in the same boat ure in , shame on the families and friends ,
us all are ur new families , thank god for this aging care dot com ! life safer and heres a b ...Read More

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anonymous38119 commented 12/24/2010 at 1:49 pm

I know the feeling of helplessness and despair when you first start out trying to help your parent, you call everywhere b/c everyone says there is help out there if you just ask. I have been plodding ...Read More

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Sloegin gave a hug 12/13/2010 at 6:08 pm

Thank YOU

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denise55 posted 11/22/2010 at 6:40 pm

I am so tired.. I have no life anymore, no job,friends and want to move so bad to Wash state, but dont know how with mom who has adv dementia.

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/2/2010 at 11:54 am

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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dmvgirl gave a hug 10/22/2010 at 11:08 am

thanks I agree, have one sister that lives 5 minutes from my house and has only been to see our mom once in the last year and a half. Says its to hard, excuse me you think its easy for me. What is rea ...Read More

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luvmom commented 10/16/2010 at 10:43 pm

Did I say something wrong? I hope not, please dont cry. You are such a great person to do what you are doing and should be proud. I do think its wrong to be home all day because work gives you sanity ...Read More

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luvmom commented 10/16/2010 at 9:43 pm

whoa you are old! HAHA I am 54, haha!!Why and how did you quit your job? How bad is your Mom? Mine's pretty bad but we still get her to sing and dance. Alot of times I pick her up at daycare and she d ...Read More

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luvmom commented 10/16/2010 at 8:45 pm

Thanks for writing me, you arent alone. I have two siblings who do nothing either! One even accused me of horrible things which were proven wrong! No one can take care of our Moms like us. I talked to ...Read More

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luvmom commented 10/15/2010 at 1:41 pm

hey thanks again, I wish you could post this to the discussion because looks like no one else appreciated it so far. You made me feel good , thanks for the hugs!

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luvmom commented 10/15/2010 at 12:09 pm

Awe Denise you gave me the goosebumps, I am here to help, been going thru it a long time with mom who lives with me. Write any time!!!!!! Thank You !

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patrica61 gave a hug 10/14/2010 at 8:11 pm

You are 100% correct. yes you can tell them, but they sometimes will not accept it or will forget. I went out and bought the book 36 hour day, and also went to support group meeting that was a local a ...Read More

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alc commented 10/5/2010 at 5:32 pm

Thank you Denise. My Husband is some help, but he works trying to keep his construction business going. The other family members live out of state. I will make it work. With God on myside :)

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rip commented 9/26/2010 at 6:25 pm

Hey Girlfriend ~ I see we share similar friends! Marissa is amazing caring the way she does. I am so exhausted for caring for my funny old dad, but I am losing my patience lately. I need to unders ...Read More

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mhmarfil commented 9/25/2010 at 7:18 pm

Hi denise55... how's your day? How's it going? Did you find work now? Me, no not yet. I just submitted my resume to several small companies that allow applicants to work online/telecommute. I pray and ...Read More

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mhmarfil commented 9/25/2010 at 10:02 am

Hi there! How's your caregiving life? I wish to have written earlier but just so busy multitasking and all the caregiving job. Almost three months ago, I was juggling work at the City Hall & mommy/dau ...Read More

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rip commented 9/24/2010 at 6:06 pm

What type of work are you looking for?

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rip gave a hug 9/24/2010 at 5:38 pm

hey Denise!
Thanks for the message! Brightened my dismal day.
Lots of Dad frustrations ...
Spanaway is almost close!

The summer has been lousy here as your friends have like ...Read More

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denise55 posted 9/24/2010 at 2:10 pm

When there are no more ears, turn to God. You see in the end, thats all we have!

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MiaMadre gave a hug 9/24/2010 at 12:13 pm

Denise: you have a very good outlook on a very challenging situation. Sharing constructive information is always helpful, and one of the reason I continue to stay here.

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anonymous14017 commented 9/23/2010 at 1:01 pm

Thanks Denise, The court laison sent me the fudiciary report that my sister didn't send me, that's how I found out about the funds, but he wasn't able to do anything more than urge me to get a lawyer ...Read More

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Commented on a discussion 2/5/2011 at 9:09 pm

How to get paid to take care for my elderly mother.

Hi Nadine, first let me say dont feel guilty about spending your parents money as long as its to care for them and help manage your expenses. Surprsingly I am going through the same thing, had to quit ...Read More

Asked a question 1/31/2011 at 4:26 pm

Does anyone else notice this?

My mother lives with me, and I do understand her not having all the things she once had in her home. That includes all the clothes!! Which by the way she could no longer wear. Well since moving into m ...Read More

Answered a question 12/25/2010 at 9:16 pm

Does anyone really care if I'm lonely during the holidays?

Thankyou Mia and Ted so very much!! You both just made me really cry, but dont worry its tears of happiness. No one, I mean no one has said anything to me this holday season that has made me feel remo ...Read More

Asked a question 12/25/2010 at 4:51 pm

Does anyone really care if I'm lonely during the holidays?

It is Christmas day and I am trying so hard not to cry and just be grateful that I have my mother with me dementia and all. Jusst enough food for her to eat. I will eat ceral and smoke cigarettes! Inv ...Read More

Gave a hug to anonymous38119 12/24/2010 at 12:48 pm

Thank-you, you are the only one I have spoken to on this site that has not instructed me to call the places I already have. There is nothing out here for caregivers except faith and hope!! Please stay ...Read More

Answered a question 12/24/2010 at 10:55 am

Who helps the caregiver financially? There has to be a way for the caregiver to get some financial support.

I think I have heard of this organization, but you know Ted the bottom line lis most of the funds still come from the State and if you live here in Maryland all you hear is there is a freeze on the pr ...Read More

Answered a question 12/22/2010 at 11:01 pm

Should my mother sleep at her Assisted Living facility on Christmas Eve or at our house?

If your mom lived with your sister for 2 years and since being in assisted living hasnt asked to go back she is use to where she is and when she returns after the holiday shhould be fine. From my expe ...Read More

Asked a question 12/17/2010 at 12:25 pm

Is there a difference between Alzheimer's and Dementia? I know Alz is a form of dementia, but does dementia turn into Alzheimer's?

Gave a hug to Sloegin 12/13/2010 at 2:35 pm

Sometimes fighting ends up making you the sole loser. If you know in your heart your husband loved you, and made sure above everyone and everything else you would be cared for, then you take that and ...Read More

Answered a question 12/13/2010 at 2:20 pm

My husband's Power of Attorney is his cousin. Can he have my husband's SS check and Pension re-routed to an account he sets up for my husband?

Well with all that in mind I guess I got a little more of the picture. Then you stop fighting and care for your husband the best you can. You see in the end, all the material things such as money, hom ...Read More

Answered a question 12/13/2010 at 12:19 pm

How do I handle it when my 83-year-old mother tells people lies about me? She does have dementia and does get confused a lot.

DJ you cant threaten your mom with placing hersomewhere else, or even trying to discipline her like a 4 year old. As Keely said, most professional know when there is fabrication or a real concern. Tru ...Read More

Answered a question 12/12/2010 at 6:59 pm

Who helps the caregiver financially? There has to be a way for the caregiver to get some financial support.

I live in Md. Every place I call has a waiting list or she gets too much money monthly. And no thats not after her rent, thats why I had to remove her from the day care. Basically here in Md the botto ...Read More

Asked a question 12/12/2010 at 4:10 pm

Who helps the caregiver financially? There has to be a way for the caregiver to get some financial support.

I know I have gone over this over and over, and have read every article, called every organization and talked to hundreds of social workers but I want to be sure I am not missing something. I had to l ...Read More

On My Mind... 12/8/2010 at 5:49 pm

I just want to wish everyone on the site Happy Holidays!! Got through Thanksgiving now here comes Christmas and the new year!!

Answered a question 12/4/2010 at 11:37 am

If we have no burial insurance, how am I going to be able to bury my mom when the time comes?

Thank you, that never crossed my mind

Gave a hug to dragonflower 12/1/2010 at 3:34 pm

That is also good advice, thankyou. The only problem is Im not working and me and my mom live off her ss and pension. Thank God my rent is low and I dont have a lot of expenses. I dont think I can loc ...Read More

Answered a question 12/1/2010 at 2:52 pm

If we have no burial insurance, how am I going to be able to bury my mom when the time comes?

Thankyou Dee, I checked out the website. I understand the importance of research and when reading about Medcure it just seemed so.... I dont know, cant explain it. Guess just never believed in cremati ...Read More

Asked a question 11/30/2010 at 1:27 pm

If we have no burial insurance, how am I going to be able to bury my mom when the time comes?

I dont know what happened, my mother has always insisted on insurance for her children or grandchildren, now since I have been caring for her, I have found no insurance policies and have seen no state ...Read More

On My Mind... 11/22/2010 at 6:40 pm

I am so tired.. I have no life anymore, no job,friends and want to move so bad to Wash state, but dont know how with mom who has adv dementia.

Answered a question 11/3/2010 at 10:47 am

How can I deal with my mom's obsessive behavior, she makes herself sick with worry?

My mom is the same way! Thank goodness I'm a member of this site because I just thought it was my mom being possesive, or secretive. She even thinks the socks I may have on is hers. My younger sister ...Read More

Gave a hug to dmvgirl 10/22/2010 at 10:55 am

You sound just like myself!!!!! I ask the same question about my 2 sisters. All the experts say that some people accept and handle things different, but I thiink both my sisters feel as if at least th ...Read More

Answered a question 10/22/2010 at 10:46 am

Does anyone else out there feel lonely and isolated since taking care of their parents?

Bonnie, everyone is right, it is one emotion all of us caregivers deal with, but hang in there and do contact Alz Assoc as Hap said. Just call and start talking leaving nothing out, you will be surpri ...Read More

Wrote on luvmom's wall 10/16/2010 at 10:16 pm

could no afford to quit but had no one watching her so I cud go to work. And their hours a so inconvient for some who need to get 40 a week,. Im cryin luvmom and I cant write right maybe latter ok, ev ...Read More

Wrote on luvmom's wall 10/16/2010 at 9:36 pm

You need to get off line and go snuggle with your husband!! (ha ha). I'm going to take a little vacation the 1st of Nov. As I said my mom has lived with me for approx 4 months, but I trying to help he ...Read More

Wrote on JulieWI's wall 10/15/2010 at 2:12 pm

You know waht Julie my mom does not like the day are either. It sounds like your mom could have been my moms sister! She didnt like anything either, just went to work and came home. NO friends. Even w ...Read More

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