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Judy (Decor426)
Age: 48
Gender: Female

Wife, Mom, homemaker, caregiver, Scout Leader (Boyscouts)Love to Dance, love the outdoors.

I am caring for my father, Paul, who is 98 years old, living at my home and the primary ailment is vision problems.

I am caring for my mother, Carole, who is 78 years old, living at my home and the primary ailment is heart condition / stroke.

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 12:29 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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195Austin commented 2/18/2009 at 7:33 pm

How are you doing- I just found out tonight that we can post directly on someones wall-you were one of those that helped me when I was new to this

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DebS commented 10/26/2008 at 11:06 am

Take care of yourself ... the stress is very bad for you and you need to balance. I know that sounds flip but take if from someone who's been there. You MUST take care of yourself.

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sunshinecaregiver commented 8/7/2008 at 7:48 am

Hi, Judy! I manage an online caregiver support group called Caregivers Voices in addition to just having joined this online support community. I care for my 83-year old Mom and caregiving is an enormo ...Read More

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Commented on a discussion 11/30/2008 at 7:01 pm

My family thinks I pushed my parents out of my house.

Mrs Grasshopper, my dad was 95 and was put on a prescribed sleep aid at first he reacted like he saw and did things he never did. They also may get them out of bed my dad couldn't take Ambian. Then he ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/30/2008 at 6:50 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

I hope in my heart of hearts that I can show my mother what empathy is and that if you don't keep people in your life by being kind that you are at a loss. Of course she doesn't believe that or choose ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/27/2008 at 8:49 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Thanks for all your support, right now concentrating on the holidays helps but afterwords who knows?
Teasandtoads, It is good to know about all that our parents can have wrong with them but when ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/24/2008 at 1:13 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Hi girls, I have been feeling lowly about myself and I don't know what to do. I feel like there is nothing for me to do anymore. I feel everyone is doing things for themselves and they don't need me ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/19/2008 at 8:27 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

I have had the shopping habit lately, with christmas and my sons birthdays are soon. I guess its a way of having to avoid the blues without my Dad here too. Its been almost 3 months.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/11/2008 at 7:32 pm

I can't handle my mom living with me anymore.

Sandy whatever you do do not take her in you will be even more miserable, my mom and I don't see eye to eye haven't since I was 16. But when my Dad couldn't drive anymore we moved in together, I have ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/11/2008 at 7:21 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

My message got cut off, oh well I'll try again. My Aunt is in the hospital now she's one of my Dad's sisters she's 90. Her leg has to be amputated her foot is black a horrible sight. She was having th ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 11/7/2008 at 3:02 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Hi everyone,Marylynne like I have said before to our parents our ways aren't right and never will be so we must keep our opinions to ourselves,really try it and you

Commented on a discussion 11/2/2008 at 6:47 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Donna i love you and think about you and all the others friends out there. On a good note I am going back to work. That is Estate sales, I had to quit before because of my dad but now my two girlfrien ...Read More

Wrote on DebS's wall 10/27/2008 at 11:43 am

That is something I do, I get yearly checkups and don't feel guilty if I want to spend time with my cousin and go shopping. I am sorry to say that my dad passed away the end of Sept. and now I will ha ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/27/2008 at 11:37 am

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Welcome Kycady, It was big of you to take in someone that you had had a long distance relationship with for part of your life and only a year of contact in your relationship.
...Read More

Welcome Kycady, It was big of you to take in someone that you had had a long distance relationship with for part of your life and only a year of contact in your relationship.
But I guess it doesn't matter how long you know someone they all have problems and attitude.
I am ready to blow my top ladies. This morning she's bitching about the faucet in the kitchen it drips if you don't shut it off tight. We have tried to take it apart to fix it but that won't work.
After hearing about the faucet for the second day I said " why don't you say lets go look for a new faucet, but NO YOU HAVE TO COMPLAIN" My mother thinks things should last a lifetime nothing is suppose to break. She said " I never had a house like this" I said " you never kept a house long enough to replace anything"
They had houses sometimes no longer then 3 years before buying a new one.
She blames the builder for putting cheap things in this house, we have been in here 6 and a half years and the house is still the builders fault.
Then she said " I would have to get a plumber to put the faucet in" I said " George ( my husband ) can do it" she said" I want it put on right" I said how wrong can you put on a faucet" if you have someone that can do it why pay a plumber I told her that was stupid.
My Dad never paid someone to do anything he could do. She tried to find an excuse for George not doing it she said " you have to get under the sink" I said " He has been under sinks and changed faucets before" HA.... Needless to say I got pissed off and went to take my shower.
The real point is if I waited for her to do anything as far as repairs to the house it would never get done, I always have to call, or go out and buy the part. We still don't have a foyer chandelier after 6 years.
But I think she manipulates by bitching long enough until I do it, thats why my dad did all that he did for her.
She just sits on her throne and bitches....... sorry for the harshness but I am mad.
Hope everyone elses day has started out better then mine.
Donna, can you walk around your neighborhood? that may help just a little, I know how you wouldn't want to go back in the house knowing that she is there but you may calm down a bit by walking. Take careoxoxoxo Judy

Commented on a discussion 10/25/2008 at 4:09 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Marylynne my mom is 75 and looks 85 she sits and does nothing but likes to tell you how to do them.
Went and got my hair trimmed today I feel much better, taking the witch to her friend's house t ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/24/2008 at 6:49 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

why doesn't she do things herself if she doesn't think I am going to do them right?
My mom saw an ad in the paper that someone needs a wheelchair at a reasonable price, instead of calling hersel ...Read More

Answered a question 10/24/2008 at 12:11 pm

My mom isn’t my mom anymore. Is there anyone out there in my shoes?

Tracy first off don't feel guilty, second at least she still has her independence and don't enable her by doing things for her that she is capable of doing, third if chances are that she no longer can ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/23/2008 at 1:20 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Welcome to the new ladies we are all ears to hear about your troubles,no matter how depressing they may be. Went to the post office this morning to mail a package to my niece and nephew in Florida for ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/22/2008 at 1:22 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Marylynne, if she wanted the AC there then I would have told her to put it there. You know she can't so the conversation would have ended there. Those units are heavy.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/21/2008 at 1:30 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Hey Girls, well my mother tried to start a discussion about my half sister and what she had said to my father when he was in the hospital several years ago PAST CRAP!!! I told her she doesn't have to ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/19/2008 at 12:23 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Marylynne my suggestion is next time set the timer in the kitchen when Dad uses the bathroom then she can't dispute the time. judy

Commented on a discussion 10/18/2008 at 2:02 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Ladydi welcome and I have learned after living with my mother for 6 and a half years that you just need to ignore the comments,anger, and moods. It took me the last year to understand that my opinions ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/16/2008 at 12:19 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Sha, my thoughts are with you and it is one step at a time. There will be different feelings as time passes. Just remember that we are here for you, you all were a big help to me.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/12/2008 at 12:09 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

Donna if your mother is unhappy that you won't be home let her figure out what she is going to do with herself. Why are we figuring out everything for them?
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/10/2008 at 10:12 am

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

marylynne, see you have to ignore her when she wants to start a war, I know its hard at first but you will get used to it I did. You do feel better in the long run and you will see that if you try it.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/9/2008 at 1:46 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

At first you are just overwhelmed with having to make phone calls, then visiting the places to straighten paperwork out. I am always moving around occupying myself in something, and at first I guess I ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/8/2008 at 2:41 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

hey girls, don't forget I like Donna now only have my Mom. She makes me very nervous at times, you have to walk on egg shells around her because she can never reacts calmly to anything, she has to be ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/5/2008 at 4:55 pm

Advice on how to deal with live-in mother

I guess its alot better having a reputation of being a good girl then a" B " And the people that know me would really think something was wrong if I changed LOL so I guess I will stay the sweet person i am LOL
...Read More

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