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m (ddarkangel)
Age: 55
Gender: Female

I am caring for my mother the primary ailment is cancer.

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:39 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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linda09 gave a hug 3/10/2010 at 10:27 am

what a suprise !!! u blew me away ! lol . didnt think u were ever gonna be back on this site , great to see you ,
still takin care of my pa here , same old stuff .
...Read More

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Granddaughter commented 3/9/2010 at 10:21 pm

Hi Mary,
My Grandmother passed away on February 13. The last two weeks of her life she was in a great deal of pain so it was a blessing when she passed. It has been three weeks I can't bring mys ...Read More

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SecretSister commented 12/14/2009 at 5:15 pm

Dear Mary, thank you for your hug. It was so wonderful to hear from you, as I have been missing you, and tried to send a hug a couple days ago. Some glitch prevented it, so yours was a refreshing ...Read More

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linda09 gave a hug 12/14/2009 at 8:54 am

thank you for checkin in with me !
so good to hear from you . glad u all went on a lit vacation , i am going to take a road trip when dad goes to a better place . want to go to texas to see my ...Read More

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linda09 gave a hug 12/13/2009 at 7:45 pm

hi havent hear dfrom you in about 3 mos now .
hope your doing ok and well .
dad still here with me , 86 and getting weaker everyday .
...Read More

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Granddaughter commented 11/11/2009 at 3:02 pm

Hey ddarkangel,

I have been thinking about you a lot lately and just wanted to let you know. I hope all is well with you.

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SecretSister gave a hug 10/19/2009 at 7:11 am

Dear ddarkangel, just want you to know I'm thinking of you today. Praying God give you and your mom grace and comfort during these exhausting days. You have been such an inspiration to me, and oth ...Read More

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linda09 gave a hug 10/18/2009 at 11:15 pm

you will be ok , knowing she is not suffering anymore . my mom kept telling me she lived a good life , dad was good to her and blessed her with 6 kids , she is ready to meet her master . it was so har ...Read More

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Carol Bradley Bursack gave a hug 10/17/2009 at 12:48 pm

Your part in the journey you are doing just fine. You are being there. There isn't often a lot more you can do. I'm glad the site has been so good for you. That makes us all feel great. To me, caring ...Read More

marylee gave a hug 10/17/2009 at 12:03 pm

ddarkangel, it is the hardest job we'll ever do, and the best job too. You should be proud of yourself. You sound like you are a fantastic daughter. I took my Mom in Sept. 08 and had her with me till ...Read More

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lgoldie gave a hug 10/17/2009 at 10:12 am

I was where you are a year ago today and it was not long until it was over, maybe a day or two. i WANT to beleive my dad heard me when I sang to him and told him I loved him and he could go. I felt ...Read More

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Granddaughter commented 9/25/2009 at 3:48 pm

I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your post. You usually make me LOL. Sounds like your mom is Nekkid as much as my Gramma. It use to be Nekkid Saturday now any given day there is a n ...Read More

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lovingdaughter gave a hug 9/25/2009 at 9:55 am

Hi!
We seem to be in the same boat. Mom too never took her mom in, but expects the world from us. Thanks for being there for us. Late at night when mom is down for the night, it is a comfort t ...Read More

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linda09 gave a hug 9/25/2009 at 4:46 am

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LindaLSmith gave a hug 9/23/2009 at 10:40 pm

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing with me. The laughter helps the best, and fully realizing that you and others have been there, too. The best thing that I ever did was find all of you. Thanks.

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linda09 gave a hug 9/20/2009 at 2:07 pm

thanks i needed a hug . :-)

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caregiverslight commented 9/15/2009 at 6:42 pm

It makes perfect, perfect sense that you are exhausted, Mary. Someone who works customer service on the phones all day gets home and the last thing they want to do is answer their own phone, and/or th ...Read More

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caregiverslight gave a hug 9/13/2009 at 1:19 pm

A good nurse holds it together for all of us, regardless of caregiving status. Even though I do not know you personally, I say thank you for doing what you do. You will be the very best patient care a ...Read More

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Micheleangel gave a hug 8/5/2009 at 10:08 pm

Hello read your post about where do the bad girl care givers hang out and I cracked up!!! I won't speak for anyone else but I am no angel and I try my best, but that's all I can do. You did make me la ...Read More

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SecretSister gave a hug 8/5/2009 at 12:59 pm

Dear m, I came to leave a hug on your wall. Just read your post on "Finding Joy in the Journey," and want to encourage you. I've read several of your posts, and you seem as "good" as the rest of us ...Read More

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ddarkangel posted 7/20/2009 at 10:32 am

One foot in front of the other.....

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caregiverslight commented 7/20/2009 at 1:14 am

Thank you, ddarkangel. Tomorrow is another day, a single step-at-a-time.

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ddarkangel posted 7/16/2009 at 10:42 am

Wow i never knew i had a wall! how kewl is this!

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JeanS commented 7/16/2009 at 8:21 am

Thanks Mary! This site helps me to keep my sanity,

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Commented on a discussion 8/31/2011 at 11:00 am

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

imjoyous i was where you are just 2 and a half years ago. I found this site and it saved my life. My mom became the taskmaster and she became at times someone i did not know. I am your age and the har ...Read More

Gave a hug to linda09 3/10/2010 at 12:26 am

Hey babygirl! I just wanted to check in and let you know I was thinking about you. I hope your holidays were quiet? lol I dont know what would have been the best thing......I am glad you have your dau ...Read More

Gave a hug to SecretSister 3/10/2010 at 12:21 am

Hey just a note to let you know I am thinking about you. I hope your sanity is being maintained! How are you? I havent been on the boards much, working to much and trying to keep up. Still have my mom ...Read More

Gave a hug to Granddaughter 3/10/2010 at 12:13 am

Hi Elena, I am so sorry to hear about your grandma but I understand. I know I always thought I would have this great sense of relief when my mom finally passed but I really didnt. I think we get so to ...Read More

Gave a hug to SecretSister 12/13/2009 at 9:14 pm

Just wanted to check in and wish you good holidays...I hope all is well with you and wanted to thank you for all your kind words and support. I am facing the first christmas without my mom and it will ...Read More

Gave a hug to Granddaughter 12/13/2009 at 9:10 pm

Thanx for your hug and thoughts...I am still here getting ready to face holidays without mom..kids and I dont know how we will do it but we will just be simple and try to enjoy each other. Cannot beli ...Read More

Gave a hug to linda09 12/13/2009 at 9:05 pm

I am glad you are doing ok...good to hear from you..have stayed away from the boards for a bit. Took the kids on a vacation..havent had one in 20 years..didnt know how to act. You know I thought I wou ...Read More

Answered a question 10/21/2009 at 12:35 pm

Am I making the wrong decision to want to care for my mother at home?

lhardeback,secretsister,roxie,lovingdaughter,and all the rest i cannot remember right now........My mother my angel, my mentor and best friend was born into heaven tuesday morning early. She peacefull ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/19/2009 at 11:33 am

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

hey secretsister, lharde, roxie and lovingdaughter, i am still here. I have to come when I know I wont start crying. Hospice finally gave me 24hr nurses so you know that means we are near the end of t ...Read More

Answered a question 10/18/2009 at 10:14 pm

Am I making the wrong decision to want to care for my mother at home?

lhardebeck, its my mom who has cancer. dxd in june and now about to pass. finally i got some 24 hr hospice nurses and meds that she wont spit out. It has been so hard and I am afraid I wont know what ...Read More

Gave a hug to marylee 10/17/2009 at 1:00 pm

Thank you so much for your kind words....huggle back at ya! why dont they make elbow gloves? Or catheters for stool.......or really big adult bibs..........ugggh~ take care!

Gave a hug to lgoldie 10/17/2009 at 12:57 pm

I know what you mean about do it yourself. They drop off the drugs and the "stuff" -sometimes. I was even ordering my own foley caths off of ebay because they were questioning why I needed to change ...Read More

Answered a question 10/17/2009 at 12:50 pm

Am I making the wrong decision to want to care for my mother at home?

I have to laugh. All three of my girls have told me that they wont be taking care of me like they all have been helping me take care of my mom lol....I told them not to worry.....I will be buying a on ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/17/2009 at 12:42 pm

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

Thanx so much. I cannot tell you how on many long nites this site has more than saved my life. The journey is my moms but it is hard to figure out my place in it. It has been the greatest being able t ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 9/27/2009 at 9:20 pm

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

linda i gotta laugh. my mom is so bush talking about chicken breast for christmas.....my daughter and I put up her little christmas tree.....see i AM going to hell. She laughed about her little tree l ...Read More

Gave a hug to Granddaughter 9/25/2009 at 10:27 pm

Gosh dont we just neeeeed to laugh? Some days I cant stop crying and I try not to let everyone see me. Most days tho I try to find ways to laugh with my mom. There was this one nite she sat on the end ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 9/25/2009 at 1:22 pm

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

LOL EBAY!

Answered a question 9/25/2009 at 12:08 am

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

My mom wants to stay in her home, she wont go to my home. So we all take turns, my kids and I and one of her close friends staying over nite and everyday so she can be at home. She does not have long, ...Read More

Answered a question 9/24/2009 at 9:21 pm

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

Curly I hope you understand that for some of us this is a safe space to come and vent so we can continue to care for our parents.....its nice to be able to say whats on our minds without worrying abou ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 9/23/2009 at 9:49 am

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

Dede its ok. sometimes you just need to say it outloud to get it out of the space. My mom is dying of cancer and my kids and I are taking care of her and we go thru the same stuff. I look up at god wh ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 9/20/2009 at 12:56 pm

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

I am just trying to imagine us, this whole subculture of people in america standing in our showers everyday just crying. We are all out there silent and just plowing on every day trying to make it wor ...Read More

Gave a hug to linda09 9/20/2009 at 12:39 pm

You are amazing...i dont know how you do what you do every day! Our parents cant tell us sometimes how much they appreciate what we do but somewhere in there we gotta know that they do....take care!

Answered a question 9/20/2009 at 9:22 am

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

Austin i know what you mean. My mom is in her living room since we are staying at her place, the caretaker and i take turns. Then me and my kids stay in her bedroom which is a great refuge. We put a b ...Read More

Answered a question 9/19/2009 at 11:11 pm

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

ps...loving daughter...dontcha love depends?????? My mom calls them her "pull ups"...would be lost without em!

Answered a question 9/16/2009 at 10:58 pm

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

Ah kindred spirits I see! I still remember the nite my mom sat nekkid on the end of the bed at midnite yelling at me that I needed to vacuum the house.....I had finally had enough.....I yelled back an ...Read More

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