Answered a question 8/24/2011 at 2:00 pm
Oh my goodness I can totally relate to what you are saying, my sister and I lived with our grandmother for about 10 years, she just passed in February. You need to set some guidelines for yourself. M
...Read MoreOh my goodness I can totally relate to what you are saying, my sister and I lived with our grandmother for about 10 years, she just passed in February. You need to set some guidelines for yourself. My sister and I worked off each other the last 2 years when her health really started declining and yes she complained but as my sister put it well pick your battles with her. Sit down with her and make the grocery list include her it worked for us "Grandma what would you like from the grocery store" if it takes a couple of hours then it takes a couples of hours. She may feel her independence has been taken away. When you cook include her "Hey grandma, can you tell me how to make......" or if you have something that she can stir, mix, easy cutting bring the ingredents to her let her help prepare the meals. That is what we used to do with our gradmother. Maybe if she feels included in something she wont be so fussy or complaining when family members come over.
As far as guilt about moving on with your life, I thought that SO SO SO many times in the two years, for me the decision to move on with my life would result in her going into the nursing home and that was something I wasn't going to put her through, I gave up my life to make sure she stayed home till the end. Looking back I would NOT have traded it for anything in the world. If she were still alive I would still be doing it. That is something you must really sit back and think about. YOU AND ONLY YOU have to handle the outcome good or bad. If you choose to stay and continue to care for her will it be easy no you will feel stressed, tired, exhaused, overwhelemed, but you did it to the best of your ability. If you choose to move on that wont be easy either but you will be doing that to the best of your ability.
Now my sister worked a full time job in the day time so what we did that worked for us like I said we bounced off each other. I stayed home and took care of her from 730am-600pm then when my sister came home we had dinner touched basis on what went on through the day usally we on her way home from work, then I would go out and do my thing till 11 or 12 at night go to my aunts, church, walmart, something that got me a break but I could have my life as well.
I hope this helps you out.