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Hello again,
Thank you for the kind words, support and prayers. We have tried 2 different lawyers here that work on wrongful death and mal practice with doctors, nursing homes and hospitals. They ...Read More

Hello again,
Thank you for the kind words, support and prayers. We have tried 2 different lawyers here that work on wrongful death and mal practice with doctors, nursing homes and hospitals. They have both refused to handle our case. It infuriates me because the reason they won't handle it is there isn't enough MONEY in it for them or for us. It isn't about the money, it's about the stupidity and neglect that lead to my fathers death.

We have pretty much given up on finding a lawyer. I am going to file a complaint with the Dept. of Health against the nursing home. Also against my fathers cardiologist that would not pursue the other ailments my father came down with while in the hospital and never telling us the condition of his heart. All we were told was his heart was better then expected and he could be discharged.

I chose to take an early severance from work so I could be with my father and help care for him full time. I had no idea the economy and this country would fall apart and I wouldn't be able to find another job. My family was more important but now I'm am suffering the consequences. The stress this past year has been unbearable, and now that I can start to take care of my own health, I have no health insurance. I know all things happen for a reason, and I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I will let you know what happens with the health dept, if anything. These nursing homes and doctors have too many ways to hide their mistakes. It just makes me sick to think of the way they get away with such things, especially where the elderly are involved.

Again, thank you all for your support. God Bless.

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in quit some time. I am the one that had the problems with nursing homes and the way they pick and choose patients when my father was in need of rehab. Well, it was ...Read More

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in quit some time. I am the one that had the problems with nursing homes and the way they pick and choose patients when my father was in need of rehab. Well, it was in our estimation that the nursing home he did end up in after another 39 days in the hospital has now contributed to his death.

Dad was in a nursing home for rehab and ended up being taken to the ER with CHF. After spending 39 days in the hospital and all the fluid being gone, his cardiologist said his heart was much better then he expected and he was ready for rehab again. He was discharged to another nursing home. After being there for 3 days, his condition started going downhill quickly. The doctor at the home said he was severley dehydrated and wanted him to go to the hospital for an IV. He was taken by ambulance and the ER said he was NOT dehydrated but had fluid around his lungs. They gave dad massive doses of lacix and sent him back to the nursing home the following day.

For 2 weeks we watched as my father could not hardly move. He was sleeping all the time, he lost his appetite, he loved to eat, would not drink anything. He complained of stomach pains, was bruising easily, pains in the back of his head, his dementia was intensifying, he started to hallucinate. They had no idea why this was happening.

One day my brother happened to be there while they were giving my father his medication. The nurse was crushing up my dads pills. My brother saw this and asked why she was crushing his pills. She said we do that with all the patients, it makes it easier for them to swallow. My dad was on Depakote ER for seizures, and right across the top of the card in bold letters it reads DO NOT CRUSH! They were pumping him with 1000 milligrams of this time released medication every day in a crushed form for 2 weeks before my brother caught them. After researching the side effects of Depakote, my dad had the majority of the symptoms of overdose. All the nursing home could do was apologize for their mistake.

On December 9th, my father was having severe chest pains. The doctor at the home said she thought is was bronchitis, and started treating him for it. On December 11th we received a phone call that my fathers blood count had dropped and the dr. felt he should go to the hospital for a blood transfusion. He was taken to the ER, and we then found out that my father had had a heart attack.

He was admitted to the hospital, and still would not eat or drink. What little food or liquid he did take in would make him start choking and coughing. He was still sleeping all day and up at night. He was having anxiety attacks and bad mood swings. He barely paid attention when you were talking to him. Basically just stared into space. They removed the heart monitors after 3 days and said he didn't need them anymore. We had signed a DNR order because we knew he wasn't going to get any better and we did not want him to suffer.

December 16th at 5:30am we received a phone call from the hospital telling us my dad had passed away at 5:18am. We requested an autopsy be done because of this Depakote episode. There was no other reason my father would have failed so quickly the way he did. He was up walking with his walker when he was admitted to the nursing home for rehab and was eating and drinking with no problems at all. He was happy and alert. In 3 days his entire life went downhill after being there. The doctors at the hospital told us he died of aspiration. They tried to talk us out of an autopsy saying it wasn't necessary at his age. We still wanted one done.

That afternoon I received a call from the Medical Examiner telling me they were going to handle my father case and would supeona his medical records from the nursing home and hospital. They called me yesterday with the results.

My father had died of a heart attack. Being that the hospital removed the heart monitors saying his heart was fine, they were clueless. He had a blocked artery in his heart and one heart muscle that was not functioning at all. The hospital couldn't see this when he was in there and had numerous tests done? There was damage to his liver and lungs, which the examiner told me was caused from pressure from his heart not working properly. The pancreas and liver, and heart are the 3 major organs that are affected by Depakote. The examiner said he could not find any traces of Depakote in my fathers stomach but they were sending it out for further research. It had already been 5 days from the time my brother caught them crushing the pills to the time my father had his autopsy. My gut feeling is they discontinued giving him the Depakote all together because they couldn't get him to swallow the pill whole, but made us think they were still giving it to him. The medical examiner also said that there were signs my father may have suffered another stroke. This would happen with the Depakote either not being given or being crushed because it then goes into the stomach instead of being released properly and it will not do what it's supposed to do which is stop seizures.

All these conflicting stories, have triggered us to hire a lawyer for a mal practice suit. Administering medication wrong which probably caused his decline in health. Wrongful diagnosis by the hospital about his heart. The cause of death logged by the hospital and what the medical examiner said being two different stories.
My poor father had to suffer in the last 2 weeks of his life, due to a cardiologist that said he was ready for discharge and a nursing home that poisoned him with medication.

Had the medical examiner not felt that there was something suspicious in his medical records from the hospital, they would have given the pathology department at the hospital the ok to do my fathers autopsy. Being that the Medical Examiners office took his case and called me hours after the autopsy was complete, leads me to believe my fathers death was expedited due to neglect and error.

I miss my father so much already. Staying home this past year to help my brother take care of him brought our family close. I'm glad I was able to spend an entire year devoted to my father and his care. I am so angry at this end result. It should have never happened this way.

These made me laugh, an believe me being with my 87 year old father who has dementia and hearing loss I can relate!

An elderly gentleman...
 ...Read More

These made me laugh, an believe me being with my 87 year old father who has dementia and hearing loss I can relate!

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% .
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'


Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown . '


Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'


A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'


A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty.'


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'


One more. !


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Chickpea,
I literally had to hold my fathers hand to keep him from shoveling more food in his mouth before swallowing what he had in there already. After about a week of constantly sitting with ...Read More

Chickpea,
I literally had to hold my fathers hand to keep him from shoveling more food in his mouth before swallowing what he had in there already. After about a week of constantly sitting with him I have now gotten him in the habit (unless its something he loves to eat) of putting his spoon or fork down after each bite. I felt like a broken record says "Small bites, slow down, chew it good, head down and swallow" but it's working and we haven't had any problems with food going into his lungs or aspiration pneumonia since. With liquids is rather difficult for them to keep their heads down and swallow but I find a straw does the trick pretty well.
We have not used thickeners on dads liquids as of yet. He hasn't had any problems choking on liquids...thank God! If he should start, that will be our next course of action.

Hi..
My dad was just diagnosed with Aspiration, which is when he eats food particles and liquid are going into his windpipe/lungs instead of his esophagus (sp) causing him to choke. This can also ...Read More

Hi..
My dad was just diagnosed with Aspiration, which is when he eats food particles and liquid are going into his windpipe/lungs instead of his esophagus (sp) causing him to choke. This can also cause pneumonia because the elderly do not have a strong enough immune system to fight off bacteria and break down the food particles. It causes him to choke when he eats too fast. You might want to check and see if this could be part of your mothers problem. Here is what we have done to avoid the choking:

Cut food in smaller pieces
Slow down when eating, he shovels it in like someone is going to take it away from him.
Make him chew his food good. If your mom wears dentures make sure they are secure in her mouth and not slipping when she chews.
The most important one of all is get them in the habit of lowering their head into their chest when swallowing. This closes off the windpipe so that food particles have a harder time getting into it and are forced into the esophagus to the stomach.

Aspiration is very common in the elderly because the muscles in their throats get weak and don't function as they should. The dementia doesn't help the situation and can lead to Aspiration if they don't already have it which is what happened to my dad.
The hospital said a feeding tube is about the only way besides changing eating habits that will help. Even with a feeding tube they are still in danger because saliva will still go into the lungs. At 87 years old I was not going to take away the only thing my father has left that he enjoys doing and that is eating.
With constant reminders to chew, put your head down, dad is eating this way like its routine now, and has not had any problems with choking at all.
Hope this helps, and good luck to you.
Cindy

Hi all,
I sent a letter to the editor of our Syracuse newspaper two days ago about Nursing Home discrimination. It was published in todays paper! I have received a couple phone calls from strange ...Read More

Hi all,
I sent a letter to the editor of our Syracuse newspaper two days ago about Nursing Home discrimination. It was published in todays paper! I have received a couple phone calls from strangers who are in the same situation as we are over parents/partners being rejected by nursing homes. I was so excited I had to tell someone! LOL

It may not be much but it's a start, and hopefully the right people will read the article which is very brief and to the point and follow the lead and help out. Apparently the newspaper tought it was important enough to publish within 2 days time of submitting the story. I will keep you posted if anything more comes of it.

NY does not have this program either. All states should. This was one of the complaints I emailed to Hillary Clinton and Governor Paterson last week. As of yet, I have had no reply except their usual ...Read More

NY does not have this program either. All states should. This was one of the complaints I emailed to Hillary Clinton and Governor Paterson last week. As of yet, I have had no reply except their usual pre-printed email telling me thank you for expressing your concerns, we will get back to you shortly.

Is your husband a veteren Brominds? I know that you can receive some help for certain things from VA Benefits. Whether or not they have a program that will pay you to be a caregiver is probably slim, but you may be able to get financial help with the medical equipment you need and your gas and electric bills. Also, check with your power company and see if they have any type of grants for elderly that need medical equipment that jacks up their utility bills. Here in NY if an elderly person is on Medicaid, foodstamps, welfare they can get a telephone for 1.99 a month as opposed to the 60.00 phone bill everyone else gets. That is through Verizon.

It's worth the effort to check with each of your utility companies and see if they offer any breaks for the elderly. I too am not working right now and taking care of my dad. NY is so money hungry with taxes, they do nothing to help the elderly or anyone taking care of them. I keep telling myself what goes around comes around. They will someday be in the same situation. The only difference is the people that make these decisions to help us are the filthy rich ones, so they wouldn't feel the hardships that we do.
God works in mysterious ways, keep up the faith. Sooner or later we will be noticed and things will get better. I am speaking out to everyone and anyone who will listen about the unfair treatment the elderly must deal with not only from our government but from our healthcare system. Both need a major overhaul!

Bkuchau,
I got some pretty good free advice from "A Place for Mom". It's a free service which will give you names and places of Nursing Homes, Assisted Living apartments, adult day care facilitie ...Read More

Bkuchau,
I got some pretty good free advice from "A Place for Mom". It's a free service which will give you names and places of Nursing Homes, Assisted Living apartments, adult day care facilities etc. They have a web site where you fill out a little survey about what your looking for and who needs it. They will email you back with information and follow it up with a phone call if you are interested. Their web site is www.aplaceformom.com

The woman that helped me find a great daycare for my dad still calls me a year later from time to time or emails me to see how he is doing. She has encouraged me to continue my quest for bringing down these nursing homes that are neglecting the elderly or denying them admission because they are not the perfect role model patient.

My dad was in a nursing home for short term rehab after being sick. They immediately put him in those disgusting diapers so they don't have to worry about them making a mess all over their beds or floors. It takes away the persons dignity and my father was extremely depressed. To make matters worse I would find him in a soaked diaper every time I went to visit him. He ended up being rushed to the ER in an ambulance from there with CHF because of the nursing homes neglect. I have filed a formal complaint against them with the Dept. of Health.

I'm sure not all homes are bad, but the 5 that my dad has been in and out of have been nightmares and it will be over my dead body before he goes to one again even if it is only short term rehab.

I would call the dept of aging in your county and get all the info you can on homes in your area. Go inspect them yourself, look at the other residents that are there long term. Do they look happy, are they clean, do you see enough staff around to handle the amount of patients and beds they have? Make a list of things to check for. Go on the web and do searches for reviews about the places. See if there were any formal complaints filed against them and what the outcome was. Then if you find one that your satisfied with that honors Medicaid, I would have your mother transferred to be close to you so you can monitor her care at the home. Your mother and all elderly have rights in a nursing home. They can refuse to be put in diapers. It is the job of the aides to make sure they are there to help these people when they need to use a bathroom. Trust me, this was a major case of neglect when I spoke to the health dept. Remember, your mother sets the rules, not the nursing home and if you're her caregiver or power of attorney you can act on her behalf. She cannot be forced to do anything she doesn't want to do. You should also look into becoming her Health Care Proxy, if you're not already. This way you have a say in what medications she is given and any other concerns that have to do with her health. You have the final say in the matter.

Good luck, I know how hard it all is...been there done that 5 times so far. I won't be doing it again. I will continue to take care of my dad for as long as possible. I never thought I would see the day that I would be wiping my own fathers butt, but we have to do what we have to do to keep them healthy and happy. My main goal is that my father enjoys whatever time he has left with us, and I'll be damned if he is going to spend it depressed and neglected.
God bless,
Cindy

195Austin,
Thanks for responding. I knew my case was not an isolated matter. Anyone that has ever dealt with a nursing home, has probably had some sort of denial. The two that have denied my dad ...Read More

195Austin,
Thanks for responding. I knew my case was not an isolated matter. Anyone that has ever dealt with a nursing home, has probably had some sort of denial. The two that have denied my dad won't even give the hospital planner a reason for the denial. They always use the excuse that they don't have any male beds available in rehab.
We know they are lying because I have called and pretended to be someone else asking questions about rehab and privately paying for it. They always have a bed for that. The other nursing home we know someone that works there, but we can't use her to prove they are lying to us because she could lose her job and I wouldn't want that to happen.

I am in Syracuse, NY...Onondaga County. There are at least 10 nursing homes here if not more, and they are all dumps. If you look at the ratings on these homes, they have had numerous complaints against them for various things. Everyday in the obits, you see one or two people dying that were residents of these homes.

This last one I filed a complaint against was Sunnyside Nursing Home. I would go and visit my dad once if not twice a day. If I wasn't there, my brother was. There was not one time that I went there that he wasn't sitting in a soaking wet diaper, and the front of his pants and shirt were soaked with urine. Lord only knows how long he had been left that way. When I would complain and call someone in to change him, they would never wash the urine off his body. They'd peel off the wet diaper and but a clean one on. The hygiene of the patients was unacceptable.
They only gave them a shower once a week on Mondays. When I asked why, they said because it dries out the elderlys skin. I said haven't you ever heard of lotion?????? So imagine, sitting around in soiled disposable diapers all day long, smelling like a sewer and only being washed once a week. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out why these poor people end up with urinary tract infections that can kill them because they go untreated. There were so many other things that I turned them in for, I just hope it will do some good. Although my father ended up back in the hospital from their neglect...I hope that it will help the other residents there that have no families to look after them and check on them.

Hello all,
I'm a newbie and have already posted on 2 other topics. I've been reading all of your comments. I too am in the same situation. I lost my job in November, it was sent to India. 23 year ...Read More

Hello all,
I'm a newbie and have already posted on 2 other topics. I've been reading all of your comments. I too am in the same situation. I lost my job in November, it was sent to India. 23 years with the same company, shows how much they appreciated my hard work. Since November I have been caring for my father who is 87 and not very healthy along with my brother. We try and take turns and give each other breaks but it is so stressful I'm about to crack.
Dad has dementia, CHF, retains fluid so bad in his legs he can't use them and then it travels to his lungs and he can't breathe. He's diabetic, has had 2 strokes in the past 7 years, 2 back surgeries, and both knees replaced since he turned the ripe age of 75. He's always been a fighter, and when he's had a setback he's bounced right back up again. The past year this is no longer happening. He has been in and out of the hospital and in and out of various nursing homes for short term rehab. We have ended up pulling him out of the homes because his health went downhill instead of them making him better. 2 weeks ago he was in a home for rehab and due to the neglect of the nursing home he was rushed to the ER in an ambulance with CHF again. Everyday I was at the home checking on him, I kept voicing my complaints about his health and they never listened to me. I have now filed a complaint against them with the Dept. of Health. I pray it does some good.
My father is currently in the hospital again with fluid around his heart and in his lungs. He has lost over 25 pounds just in fluid in the past week.
There are only 2 nursing homes left in my area that are reputable homes with good standings. We have tried to get dad in both of them before, and tired again now but they have both denied him. What gives them the right to deny an elderly patient care? Today I wrote a letter to our local news station, the same letter to Hillary Clinton my senator and another to Govenor Paterson about the discrimination nursing homes take part in. Also about the under staffing and neglect that residents suffer.

My dad is so weak right now we would never be able to get him home and in the house on our own. We don't know what to do. Physical therapy at the hosptial isn't even trying to work with him to get him stronger like he was before he went in there. They put in in their records that he was too weak to stand up and thats the end of it. No exercise with his legs at all even when he's laying down. My brother and I go to the hospital and do exercises with him while Medicare is paying this incompetent staff for nothing.

If I had the money and the knowledge, I swear i would start up a union for the Elderly. They have got to start fighting back, or those of us who care for them need to start asking for financial assisstance. I need to find a job, what is going to happen to my father when I am working and can't be there to help if he falls down or has a bad bout with dementia. My brother can't do it alone. Other states have funding for caregivers....NY is not one of them. This should be a law throughout the USA. I can't make a decision to leave my dad and worry about my own survival or stay with him and lose everything I have with no income. I'm a single parent and own my own home. My father luckily lives 4 houses away with my brother. I am frustrated and frightened more then I have ever been in my entire life. I need to stay strong...but i find myself failing miserably as each day brings a new crisis to deal with. At this point I have no idea what is going to happen and where my dad will end up, but it will be over my dead body before he ends up in another butcher house nursing home. After going thru what I have with my father, I would rather die healthy, then have my daughter live through the trauma and heartache that I am living through right now.

Let's form some kind of committee and spread the word. I have started and will continue to send letters to anyone that will listen. We are humans too, and we have earned some kind of support from our government for keeping another human being alive and well taken care of. We use our own expenses, our own time and our prayers to get our loved ones the help they need. And damnit, we do a better job then any nursing home or hospital can do because we know what the person we care for is all about and what they need.
God Bless all of you that are caregivers, we are in this together!

From reading your question, I am assuming you mean that you are starting a new job and want to know how much information you should give your new employer about the caregiving you give to a family member.
 ...Read More

From reading your question, I am assuming you mean that you are starting a new job and want to know how much information you should give your new employer about the caregiving you give to a family member.

I am going to be faced with the same problem. I take care of my father and share the responsibility with my brother. We rotate shifts so that we both have some time to get our own lifes together. The problem is I need to go back to work or lose everything I've worked for the past 40 years. I know my brother cannot take care of my dad alone. How do I explain to a potential employer that I sometimes get emergency calls and have to leave to help with my elderly father? I'm afraid this is going to keep me from getting hired, but I could never be at work and ignore the fact that my father needs my help and I can't go to him. I cannont imagine working an 8 hour day, and coming home and caring for my father until he goes to bed at night. There is no room for my own life now, I will be giving up what little free time remains for myself. If it has to be done, I will do it...I just don't know how much longer I can stand the stress and depression I keep falling in and out of.

Why doesn't this country do something about those of us who have to take care of our elderly parents or loved ones and are unable to hold down a full time job because of it? There is no compensation for caregivers in NYS. Think of the money Medicare and Medicaid would save paying a caregiver at home rather then spending 300.00++ per day for a nursing home. Not to mention the fact that nursing homes are nothing more then death beds waiting to happen. They are under staffed and the residents are neglected way too much. I recently filed a formal complaint with the nursing home my father was in for short term rehab after leaving the hospital. The nursing home not only wasn't able to maintain his health, they watched him get sicker until he had to be rushed back to the hospital in an ambulance. They did nothing that was supposed to be done to keep my father at his level of health when he entered the home. I can only imagine what they do to the long term patients that have no once checking on their care or health. It's disgusting to say the least.

My story is not an isolated case. Nursing homes in Onondaga County are either under staffed with unacceptable care, or above the rest and have a right to pick and choose who they will help and who the ...Read More

My story is not an isolated case. Nursing homes in Onondaga County are either under staffed with unacceptable care, or above the rest and have a right to pick and choose who they will help and who they will deny care to. This is in my opinion, elderly neglect.

What happened to the days when a healthcare facility had to help a patient, especially when that patient had the funds available either privately, or through Medicare/Medicaid?? When did Nursing Homes acquire the right to deny a patient because there would be too much work involved to make them better for short term stay rehabilitation? Is this the way our country has decided to diminish the elderly population? Unless you are mobile and fairly self sufficient, with minimal care, or have one foot in the grave where you can be left in a bed 24 hours a day, the better nursing homes in this area will refuse to help you.

My father has been refused by Syracuse Homes and Birchwood Nursing home numerous times after being in the hospital and needing rehabilitation to get him strong again so he could come back home. Today he was refused again by both places. They don't have to give the discharge planner at the hospital a reason. If you call on your own, they use the excuse that they have no male bed available.

Dad has been sick on and off for the past 3 years. Congestive Heart Failure, and fluid buildup around his lungs which makes it hard for him to breathe. He has been taken to the Emergency Room three times in the past 4 weeks.

My father was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks the end of June. After the hospital diminished the fluid and he was better, he needed short term rehab at a nursing home to get stronger. Birchwood refused him. Our second choice (they do give you a choice, not that it does any good) was Syracuse Home. Syracuse Home agreed to take my father, all the paper work with the discharge planner was filled out. My father was to be transported to Syracuse Home on Thursday July 3rd at 11:00am. At 10am, the hospital got a call from Syracuse Home saying they were delaying the transport till 2pm. My brother and I got to the hospital at noon, got my dad dressed and ready to go. He was excited about getting out and going somewhere that he would not only get better but enjoy himself at the same time. At 1:00pm the discharge planner came in and said that Syracuse Home had to postpone my dads transport till Monday July 7th. We never did get a direct answer why. For the next 4 days, my father sat in a hospital room with minimal care. No physical therapy of any kind, his vitals checked and food brought in.
On Monday, July 7th he was scheduled to be transported at 2:00pm. Once again we went to the hospital and got him dressed and ready to go. This time at 1:00pm a nurse came into his room and said Syracuse Home changed their mind and denied my father care. Again, no explanation why! We had to choose another home.

Before I go any further I should explain that my dad had already been in Loretto, St. Camillus, The Crossing and Iroquois Nursing homes at different times for rehab. While being in all of these places, his health deteriorated instead of getting better so we could bring him home. The physical therapy departments in these nursing homes are useless. They make no effort to get a patient strong and back on their feet.

The Crossing pumped my father full of so much pain medication he couldn't move on his own if he wanted too. That was after having a knee replaced, he wasn't even sick.

Loretto was so short staffed, there was never a nurse or aid around when you needed one. The rooms were depressing, and the PT again was useless to anyone that was trying to get better.

St. Camillus was the same as the others. Short staffed, patients were neglected and whenever you asked a question, you couldn't get a straight answer.

Iroquois was a little more attentive and the staff (aides and nurses) did a decent job for the amount of people they had to tend too. The administration on the other hand was a nightmare. We repeatedly asked that my father be taken off of insulin. He has never needed it and it makes him sick and his dementia gets worse when he's on it. The doctor refused to listen to my brother who is my dads health care proxy. He hung up the phone on my brother and refused to talk to him. Administration first told us the insulin was stopped, when all the while he was still getting it. Physical therapy told my father and my brother and I that dad would never be able to walk with his cane again and would be lucky if he could get around with a walker. Needless to say we pulled my father out of the home and brought him home and within 3 days he was up walking around with his cane again.

We took my father out of each of the above nursing homes while watching him regress health wise instead of getting better. My heart goes out to the elderly people that are confined in these homes with no family or family that doesn't care and never monitors their treatment. Now back to the story:

We were told by the discharge planner at the hospital that Sunnyside Nursing home had an available bed and would take my father. This was a new home that he hadn't been to yet and we really had no other choice because he was too weak to come home where we could take care of him. After another day of sitting around in the hospital he was transported to Sunnyside on Tuesday July 8th. The home seemed ok after looking around and inspecting it. Most of the staff seemed friendly and caring. My father was to receive physical therapy and occupational therapy. The occupational therapy never happened. His doctors orders were he was to keep moving and when sitting for long periods of time his legs were to be elevated so he would not suffer the fluid buildup again. Within 4 days, dads legs started to swell. I continually mentioned this to the staff because my father was left sitting in a wheelchair or laying in bed constantly and his legs were never elevated. I visited my dad once a day, sometimes twice. NEVER once did I go there where I didn't find him in a soaking wet or soiled adult diaper, and his pants and shirt wet with urine. Each time I called in someone to change him I would sit and watch as they peeled off the soiled diaper and put a clean one on without once washing the stale urine from my fathers body. Would they treat their own bodies this way?

My father started getting depressed and his dementia was getting worse. I was concerned that due to the neglect in hygiene he might be getting a urinary track infection. I requested that a sample be tested and was told the doctor in charge would have to give the okay for a sample to be taken. Another 3 days pass with no urine test and my fathers legs were swelling more and more. They measured his legs every morning, yet did NOTHING to try and stop the fluid buildup. He was still left sitting in a wheelchair without his legs elevated.

During the second week of his stay at Sunnyside, I went to visit him and found him sitting in the dining room, soaking wet once again. I wheeled him to his room and proceeded to undress him to clean him up and put fresh clothes on. When I removed his wet diaper, I found blood on the front of it. I finally had had enough, to put me over the edge. I demanded to see the nurse in charge. She came in with a male aide, and I told them to explain to me why there was blood not only on my fathers diaper but on his penis. The male aide looked at my father and said "Oh, it looks like he might have cut himself with the sharp edge of the urine bottle he was trying to use." Excuse me????? This cheap plastic bottle had a ragged sharp edge on it, yet was given to an 87 year old man to use. I then voiced every complaint I had to the nurse in charge, who agreed with me. She made notes of my complaints, which the home had an excuse for everything even though there was no excuse that would be acceptable to the neglect my father was receiving. 45 minutes of physical therapy in the morning, and 23 hours of the remainder of the day left sitting in a wheelchair sleeping. No effort by anyone to get him off his feet for a short walk throughout the day to keep him moving so the fluid would not go back to his heart and lungs unless my brother or I got him up.

We had our meeting with the nurses, social worker and administration on Monday July 21st. We voiced our concerns and complaints, that nursing homes mottos are to maintain a patients health or make them better so they can come home. Neither was done. We then decided my father would get better care from my brother and I at home and we would take him to outpatient physical therapy. He was to be discharged the next day in our care. At 6am, Tuesday July 22nd (the day we were to take him home) my brother received a phone call from Sunnyside saying that my father had difficulty breathing during the night and they had sent out for a chest X-ray to be done. The X-ray was taken at 8am. I went directly to the nursing home after hearing the news to be with my dad and start packing up his things. It took over 4 hours for the results of the X-ray to be faxed. The nurse pulled me aside and said the X-ray shows Congestive Heart Failure and fluid around your fathers lungs. She wanted to know what I wanted to do. I looked at her and said you're kidding me right? Call an ambulance NOW, and get him to the Emergency Room!!!
He was taken to the ER and more tests were done. The doctor in the ER said they would keep him overnight and try to get rid of as much fluid as they could. We were to come pick him up in the morning. The neglect of Sunnyside, sent my father back into the hospital in worse shape then when he left 2 weeks earlier. I have filed a formal complaint against them with the Department of Health, and they are doing an investigation.

Dad was home with us for seven days. He was going to outpatient therapy and back to his adult daycare at Silver Fox which is one of the best places for elderly people to go. The staff is wonderful, the place is beautiful and they truly care about each and every one of their members like they were their own parents. I can't say enough good things about them. My father was on lacix to keep the fluid down, and we constantly had his legs elevated when he was sitting or resting. Even with our effort 100% of the time, because all of the fluid was not dissolved in his overnight stay at the ER, it built back up in his chest and lungs again. On Friday August 1st, while dad was at the daycare, he was having chest pains. The girls immediately called 911 and my father was taken back into the hospital. Congestive Heart Failure and fluid in and around his lungs. He is still in the hospital as of today, and I have never seen him in such bad shape. He is left sleeping most of the day in bed, he's weak and his dementia is worse then it's ever been. Physical therapy comes in early in the morning and wakes him from a sound sleep, then expects him to stand up after he's been laying down for hours and hasn't even had breakfast yet. They then write in their reports that he is too weak to receive therapy. These are the same reports the nursing homes see when the hospital no longer wants responsibility for a patient and gives you the choices of nursing home rehabs.

Back to square one. Our choices were Birchwood and Syracuse Home. We were told this morning that both places have once again denied my father. He is too weak for us to bring him home, we would never be able to get him up the 3 stairs to get into the house. What choices do we have now??? Send him back to one of the places who neglected to keep him healthy when he was there before, or try to take him home where we can keep him clean and fed but do not have the medical equipment or knowledge to monitor his health so he doesn't suffer CHF again.

Now, I ask you....how can these nursing homes be allowed to pick and choose their patients? Don't they have any compassion for the elderly that really need them? Are they afraid because a patient has a family that cares and monitors their parents care, that they will be exposed for the same kind of neglect other nursing homes have been exposed of?? Are they too lazy to take any patients that need a little extra care and attention? Is this now our country's way of disposing of the elderly due to the lack of good healthcare available in nursing homes? These establishments are paid good money to do their jobs, yet they do only the minimal with a shortage of staff. Read the obituaries and see how many elderly people are dying in these nursing homes. Are the families closing a blind eye, or are they afraid to speak out for fear of further neglect to their loved one? I do not want my father to be another statistic. I want him to be healthy as he is capable of being, and I expect the nursing home that he is a short term resident of to do their job. Is that asking too much?

We are all going to be in this situation at some time during the rest of our life cycle. After seeing what my father is going through, I would rather die healthy then put my daughter through this trauma and heartache. It's a disgrace that nursing homes can deny patients for whatever reason. They are supposed to be here to help all elderly people. If we don't start raising our voices, it will never get any better. I can only pray that there are still decent people in Onondaga County that work at these nursing homes who will do something about the discrimination to our elderly community.