Answered a question 10/11/2010 at 12:20 pm
Dear beijing,
This seems sooo deja' vu for me. I went through the same thing with my Mother. I am not a medical professional, but a person who has been there. First, let me say that you are one
...Read MoreDear beijing,
This seems sooo deja' vu for me. I went through the same thing with my Mother. I am not a medical professional, but a person who has been there. First, let me say that you are one heck of a Granddaughter to be so concerned with your Grandmother. She is very lucky to have you. Please do not take this responsibility onto your shoulders. You have your life to live. When we took the keys away from my Mother, she would walk 2 miles through a bad part of town to buy wine, and wouldn't remember any of it. There are a few things I want you to know. 1. You can't "make" or coerce her into doing the right thing, taking a shower, etc. That is the most important thing here. You can try all you want, but reasoning is completely out. 2. It's the disease, not your Grandmother. Just be patient and love her, that's the best thing you can do. My mother is a completely different person now. 3. Unless someone in your family has legal guardianship (I live in GA, this is the way the law is here, check with your state) they can't "make" her go into a nursing home against her will, even though she is incompetent, and it would be in her best interest to keep her safe. If your Aunt has Power of Attorney and there is an "incompetency" clause (If a Doctor deems her incompetent, your Aunt is automatically her Guardian) It has to say that in the power of atty papers, as mine do. Other than that, your Mom, Sister, etc will have to take your Grandmother to court to petition the court to be her guardian.
It seems so hard to protect the ones we love. You will be a great support system for your parents. I wish you the best of luck and please understand a lot of this is out of your control.. It's hard to see our loved ones like this. My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for a safe, good solution for your Grandmother. Hang in there.
p.s. My Mother is now in Assisted living, and safe, and doing well.
Chandracap