Commented on a discussion 3/5/2011 at 1:15 pm
Cmagnum and emjo, I am so grateful for your concern, a month ago almost to the day I got my mom into assisted living (she is in the dementia unit) and it has changed my life-I read a note my husband h
...Read MoreCmagnum and emjo, I am so grateful for your concern, a month ago almost to the day I got my mom into assisted living (she is in the dementia unit) and it has changed my life-I read a note my husband had written (that I am sure he never expected me to find on a shared laptop), and I felt his pain and loss of our relationship so deeply that I knew I had to make some changes. It was heart wrenching to take her there, she's not as bad as so many of the other people that are there, I go and visit her several times a week, take her to lunch, for walks....I am sure there is still some form of guilt, but my husband is a different man, a much happier man-even kinder. Quite honestly, I do have this heavy weight lifted as well, I lost 6 pounds in one month--without doing anything different, I think it was 6 pounds of stress. Mom says she wants to come home everyday I see her or call her, I tell her I had to go back to work and I can't take care of her and work, it seems to make her understand thats why she can't live with me anymore-I told her this because I didn't want to hurt her, and in truth I did need to go back to work.
It took a minute, and thank goodness not a minute too late for me to realize that my husband did need to come first and it was impossible with Mom's needs, I am blessed that I still have this man in my life, I could have lost him. Its not easy being in the middle of loving two very important people and trying to make sure that you don't completely lose yourself while you are trying to save/love them. I am confident that I made the right choice for my life, Mom will be okay, even though she complaines I come and watch her laughing and talking to other people there and realize that she will really be okay, and now I can be the wife my husband married, and the woman I once was. Thank you so much for your caring enough to reach out. I think I am finally on the right path. Bless you both!