Hi DT,
I also "wrack my brains" to figure out how to get away for a vacation now and then, even just for four or five days. It's very difficult, being the sole caregiver. The difference with ou
...Read MoreHi DT,
I also "wrack my brains" to figure out how to get away for a vacation now and then, even just for four or five days. It's very difficult, being the sole caregiver. The difference with our Mothers, is that mine has middle stage dementia, so it is necessary to have someone coming in to make sure she is having her meals, and to keep her company, and just check on her during the day, as she is very forgetful, and gets extremely bored with nothing to occupy her time. When I go away for little "escapes" it takes much planning, and organizing, but I can accomplish it. I also call her first thing in the morning, again at lunchtime, and again in the evening. This contact helps her know that I am always reachable, and gives her that "safe" feeling. I make sure her frig is stocked w/ things she can fix for herself, easily. And I have Ensures as a backup, if she doesn't feel like making anything. Fresh fruit, bread and butter, cheese, yogurts, etc. are things that are easy for them to fix. Your Mother doesn't have dementia, so she probably is very capable of getting simple meals together for herself, even though you say she doesn't cook like she used to. My Mom, even w/ dementia, can fix scrambled eggs and toast, cereal, etc. I've got someone who I get to check on my Mom twice a day, and spend a couple of hours w/ her at a time. It amounts to four hrs a day, at $10.00 per hour. That's not too staggering an amount, to give yourself a much needed respite from the constant togetherness, which can drive one over the bend. There are many decent people out there who are looking for some extra money, and who your Mom could tolerate for several days or a week. She may not like it, but she'd just have to tolerate it, since she'll know it's just temporary. My Mom hates it when I leave. She tries all sorts of ploys to keep me from leaving. But I just have to grit my teeth and do it. I'm nice about it, but firm. Otherwise, I'd be a prisoner, as well. So, my suggestion to you, DT, is to plan yourself a get-away, organize things, (writing down instructions, etc.) find someone to come in several hrs. a day, (through community help a church, a friend might know someone) and just DO IT! You deserve it. You're not a servant. If you do it once, you'll feel better about doing it again. Even if it's three days away here and there, it'll do you a world of good. And your Mother might start appreciating you more, as she will see that she shouldn't take you for granted. You may just leave and not come back. ;-)
Good luck, DT. I know what you're going through.
Braida