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Man, I used to actually proofread these posts before I hit the submit button. Looks like I have to get back in that habit too!
hope everybody's day is not too hard...

lovbob

Good Morning Crew,

Wow! the toilet story! Loved it Kimmy! Need you on the boat big time!

Rossella, I remember that part in American Beauty and yes, it generates a good feeling. I ...Read More

Good Morning Crew,

Wow! the toilet story! Loved it Kimmy! Need you on the boat big time!

Rossella, I remember that part in American Beauty and yes, it generates a good feeling. I know that you have had a rough winter with so much loss. The winter is gone in about another 6 weeks and you will feel better and better I bet. Then you will go and put your toes in the sea. the best healer!

Cuz, you sick so and so. thank God you're here. How's everybody?

Ucantcare2much, good to see you here and ya, without humor we are screwed, blued and tattooed! I know when I was in the trenches caring for my mom I kept saying to myself that there's got to be a joke in here somewhere..... somewhere...

all of you caregivers are incredible as you all well know. And Cuz too!

The Boat Angel has to go back to the hospital tomorrow for 2 or 3 rounds of chemo. Insane.
Meanwhile, even though he is sick he keeps the galley spotless and is always polite and sweet. He is depressed of course, who wouldn't be, and thanks Cricket for the iPod idea.
The difference in caring for an 89 year old demented parent and a 54 year old cancer patient is staggering. This one is in his right mind and helpful when he can be and when he can't it's because of the aftereffects of chemo and the cancer itself.
I am pulling out the Macrobiotic tricks that I learned years ago and have saved my own bacon with more than once. He is a Southern boy through and through and is having a little trouble adjusting to something that isn't sweet tea and fried chicken.
Last night, his head throbbing, I put a mix of Sesame oil and grated Ginger on the spots that hurt and just lightly rubbed until I could feel his breathing change and he fell asleep. Worked better than Excedrin haha. of course you have to put a towel down and he smelled like he fell into a wok at the China House but so what.

Hopefully the chemo will work, he will respond and get better and now that he is in a supportive environment and not suffering alone perhaps that will make a positive difference also.

ok, off to make myself some Joe. just had my Macrobiotic 'morning drink' and now am going to balance it out with some kick butt coffee.

love you guys and thx for your patience with me while I attempted to overcome the grieving process of my mom, the house and all of the memories and now this new period where I am caring for a sick person and a boat!
This is my New Normal.

lovbob

Hi there Hannalee... just me checking in on you to see how you're doing. hope you post some on the Grossed thread! lovbob

Lilliput!
what's going on? I am getting a little better with all of the 'new normal' of caring for another person. oh boy. Please let me know how you are. love you Lilliput. lovbob

hey Christina,
thanks for the kind words.
The fiberglass is fine it's the seams on the boat deck (dinghy deck) that are shot out and need to have the caulking replaced. Most of the seams on ...Read More

hey Christina,
thanks for the kind words.
The fiberglass is fine it's the seams on the boat deck (dinghy deck) that are shot out and need to have the caulking replaced. Most of the seams on the boat need to have the caulking replaced but that's just part of the ongoing maintenance.

The hull of this boat is in pristine shape and she doesn't leak! Yay! the leaky parts are just cracks in caulking from direct sun and rain. No biggie, it's just the BOAT!!

Sanding and scraping and making repairs where there were only patch jobs before. At least this way I know exactly where each and every little spot is and what it will take to keep it caulked and dry. omg..... and there's a lot of little spots...

OK, off to do some more.
love you guys,
lovbob

Good Sunday Morning Crew!

I am still alive and read everything that you folks write on a daily basis. I am sorry that I haven't been posting; just don't know what to say most of the time.
 ...Read More

Good Sunday Morning Crew!

I am still alive and read everything that you folks write on a daily basis. I am sorry that I haven't been posting; just don't know what to say most of the time.
I feel for each and every one of you, for all of the challenges that each of you face and for all of the crap that is flung in your direction by outside forces whether they be relatives, 'friends' or less evolved people that just happen to 'drive by'.

Christina! you have been amazing in your druise director capacity. Hope you and your husband get to the boat!
Cricket! I always enjoy reading you and you have so much to offer everyone and I am so glad that you are here!

LindaHeart! love you and can't wait for you guys to come back to the boat. We had a blast and want to do it again! Love to your SIL. I can't even imagine...

Rossella! love the heart and really enjoy what you write. I hope your burdens get lighter and I hope you get to put your toes on the beach and into the water.

ksobie!kuli!mariesmom! always good to see from you guys even if it's just checking in for a minute.

MaxineJune! love you girl and really wish you could come and hang out on the boat with me for a while. You are a good, good lady.

Flex! and the insanity continues but happy your brother is trying. (Ya, very trying)

Deef! Rip! hope you guys are doing well.

jen! Brilliant as always and hope your situation ends and you get to come to the boat! Whatta writer.... just sayin...

For the new folks who have stopped by... Ya, it's gross and that's a fact and we all hope you guys come back and hang out with us for awhile.

Ted! you maniac! really enjoyed hanging out with you a few months ago.

Cuz!! hey cuz how are you? love your jokes and I am as big a fan as everyone else on the thread and possibly the site. Hope all is well and love to you and J and M and D and and and.
I haven't heard from C so I guess j is still hanging on?
ok enough family code talk...

Lilliput! whassup with Anonymous? tell us the backstory! thanks for the hugs and sorry I haven't been well enough to be here on a daily basis. Just when I think I can do it something happens and well, there you go.

Miz! hope you and M are doing well and are happy.

Selfish Siblings! Meanwhile2! Angelhair! Golfbhard! Shielablake! Stillstanding! cgfollansbee! Nothingisenough! hannalee!

For those I left out, post and chew me a new one.

We all get busy with our lives but there is a truth and that is that we are all interested in each other and I hope that you guys will continue to post and keep us up to date on what's going on good or bad.

Love you guys more than you'll ever know.

lovbob

thanks for coming to the Grossed Out thread! I hope you join in the posting with the other caregivers and please keep in mind that the boat is real and caregivers have come to hang out with me in the ...Read More

thanks for coming to the Grossed Out thread! I hope you join in the posting with the other caregivers and please keep in mind that the boat is real and caregivers have come to hang out with me in the different places that the boat has been docked. Hope to see you posting Hannaleee! Vent and Live!! lovbob

the Boat is on the move..... Happy 2012

Please know that it does not escape me that most of you are putting up with your own version of Liquid Ass at home. Let me tell you that when you see other people put up with it it is Hilarious!
 ...Read More

Please know that it does not escape me that most of you are putting up with your own version of Liquid Ass at home. Let me tell you that when you see other people put up with it it is Hilarious!

lovbob

Linda, love support and prayers to you and your sweet Pa. tell him I said wassup and that I love him through you, his beautiful loving daughter.
 ...Read More

Linda, love support and prayers to you and your sweet Pa. tell him I said wassup and that I love him through you, his beautiful loving daughter.

Linda this will be an amazing time in your life. Hard, hard, hard but you have the strength and the will to see your dad through to the end of his journey here. Tell him that you will see him again in the blink of an eye and that you will be there to make his favorite breakfast and that you will laugh and enjoy it together.

Don't despair Linda. this is Life and all Life ends at some point and you have the gift of knowing that you did everything you could to make his Life wonderful and loving. You did everything and these weeks or days or hours will be a golden memory for you and bring you comfort when you thought no comfort was possible.

love all of you guys more than you could ever possibly know.

lovbob

Good Christmas Morning Crew!

I am always here reading even if I don't write. Still somewhat shot out from everything and then there's new stuff I will tell you all about later.
 ...Read More

Good Christmas Morning Crew!

I am always here reading even if I don't write. Still somewhat shot out from everything and then there's new stuff I will tell you all about later.

The Cat gave me a little present by hurling her guts up next to my bunk. At least this time she didn't kill a rug. She is now cleaning my oatmeal bowl.

It is still warm here and the river is beautiful. Slightly overcast and full sun should be around in a bit.

I have read every post and cried and laughed and for all of you who have lost someone I feel you. For all of you who are new to caregiving hang on and stay with us here because we are all on the same boat whether it be before, during or after caregiving... and for some of us we will caregive again even though we swore not to.

Mariesmom, any possible way you could repost that wonderful story you wrote about being adrift? Whenever you have time which I know wouldn't be today!
That beautiful story touched so many of us.

I am in a phase of heartbroken right now and doing the best I can. thank you all for being here for each other and for me. this is the best Christmas present anyone could ever recieve.

Love you guys more than you'll ever know.

lovbob

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Happy Holidays, Merry Kwanzaa and Merry Festivus for the rest of us.

Good Morning Crew,

It's a beautiful morning here on the boat with no chance of rain and the temp predicted at about 75 degrees.
I have been working hard to move into the boat as oppose ...Read More

Good Morning Crew,

It's a beautiful morning here on the boat with no chance of rain and the temp predicted at about 75 degrees.
I have been working hard to move into the boat as opposed to camping out on the boat. Need to do a little more scrubbing and stashing and this boat is good to go.

Still waiting for my lead to ballast the pointy end but that should be here in a few days and I can finally start crabbing about something else.
Like: Why do I have to work so hard to suck in my roll so it doesn't stick out further than my titties?

That's not true... I don't try at all to suck in my roll.

Here's comes another Cousin Vinny train. At least I'm already awake for this one. I do like trains and I do like the different horns but I'm ready for a change....
Train whistles...which reminds me:
In this yard there's the guy who made the Hornblasters videos. go to hornblasters dot com and check out some of this goofy stuff.
This guy is hilarious. The vids are funny enough but the guy telling me how he shot them had me convulsed.
These vids are not for everyone and if you have a hard time watching people on the street jump out of their sneakers then give it a pass....

I have to put in a fairness report here.
Cuz... I know you didn't have the backstory on the aunt in FL. Since I have been talking to her on a more regular basis (some here may remember that the aunt in FL is actually my bio mom and has done her part in making me crazy over the years) she told me how grateful she was for my cousin who wrote the check for our Uncle's funeral. In all fairness she is not tightfisted, she just doesn't have the money. She is spending all of her waking hours sitting with her husband who is in hospice with end stage cardiac disease and not expected to live much longer. She told me that she talked to the cousin and he stated that she 'had enough on her plate and shouldn't have to cope with this too'. she literally talked for 15 minutes about how wonderful my two cousins were for taking care of their Uncle and how grateful she was. I don't know about my Uncle J in Texas.

Cuz, that was pretty sweet of you to go all the way to stand next to Uncle C while he was buried. You are one good guy and everybody here will attest to that.

I loved reading all about everybody's Thanksgiving. The Cat and I were alone on the boat and I had leftover chinese and the Cat had some shredded turkey out the can. We are both still thankful for everything especially the fact that the boat is still floating.

Off to do some more cleaning. Company's coming!

lovbob

Back on the boat. Ya.

Good Afternoon to the East and Good Morning to the West:

Welcome Momslife. Condolences on the loss of your dad and sorry that you are experiencing the aftermath of Alz.. many of us on thi ...Read More

Good Afternoon to the East and Good Morning to the West:

Welcome Momslife. Condolences on the loss of your dad and sorry that you are experiencing the aftermath of Alz.. many of us on this thread are on the other side but still check in and share our lives with the caregivers here who got us through the most difficult of times. Hope you keep showing up and have some fun with us.

My Cousin Vinny Train roaring by.....

Now that I am on the boat there are all kinds of new gross things one of which is the beard the bottom of the boat has sprouted. the diver will come within the week to give her a good bottom scrub because now she couldn't get out of her own way.

this is one long ass train...

The Cat is so happy to be home and she is sleeping under the sunshade on the pilothouse. She has gotten off the boat once or twice, walks halfway down the dock and then comes back almost right away and lays on the matt in front of the aft door in the cockpit.

the boat is wide open to the breeze and this is a great time of year here... not too hot and not too cold.

Jaysus what a train....

I am working on the interior of the boat as far as moving into it. There's a bunch of... wait for it.... BOOKS that made their way to the boat and I am finding creative ways of stashing them here and there. I just packed stuff I like and sea stories and a few cookbooks. also packed the Anne Rice Sleeping Beauty Trilogy....
not for everybody.

Finally with the train....

you all have my absolute respect in what you are dealing with no matter where you are on the journey. Love you all more than you know and thanks for the hugs! that really means a lot to me.

lovbob

Atlas Shrugged... Ayn Rand.

Thanks all for all of your support and love. I have just finished reading every post up to the last and wow, what a great group of people here.
 ...Read More

Atlas Shrugged... Ayn Rand.

Thanks all for all of your support and love. I have just finished reading every post up to the last and wow, what a great group of people here.
For all of those who have lost a mom or a dad or a husband or a wife, please accept my condolences on your losses and look to the angels that are around you, because there ARE angels around you. Even when you know that the loss is coming it is still a shock and the world is surreal.

I am not good yet and I appreciate you guys understanding. I love you all more than you'll ever know.

lovbob

Kuli,
Angels to you and your family. Love you Kuli.
lovbob

Good Afternoon Crew,

I am alive and still coping with the stuff. There's a lot more but we press forward.

Rossella, please be kind to yourself. I am so sorry.
 ...Read More

Good Afternoon Crew,

I am alive and still coping with the stuff. There's a lot more but we press forward.

Rossella, please be kind to yourself. I am so sorry.

Barb! Marlton is about 30 minutes depending on traffic. Check in with Rip or Miz or Linda H on fb and they will give you my phone # in an email if that's ok with either Rip or Miz or Linda H.

I know that everyone is dealing with the insanity of caregiving and you all have my respect and love.

lovbob

Oh Rossella I am so sorry about Nicky. I love you and I am holding you in my thoughts. please be kind to yourself above all. please.
lovbob

Hi Goodgirl!
Welcome to the thread and ya everyone here is at some spot in their journey so you will see it from many ponts of view.

How ironic that you are just beginning while I am f ...Read More

Hi Goodgirl!
Welcome to the thread and ya everyone here is at some spot in their journey so you will see it from many ponts of view.

How ironic that you are just beginning while I am finally getting it all over with. Mom died end of May 2010 and I am just now getting the house empty for sale.

It's good to see you and remember to vent and live!

lovbob

Hey kiddo... We get it. You can find a facility and they will help you with the financial aspects. Vent and Live!
lovbob

Dear Crew,
sorry I haven't posted but have my own hole to deal with. Not black hole but Sh!t Hole!! I am somewhat depressed but it is situational depression and I just try to keep my eye on the ...Read More

Dear Crew,
sorry I haven't posted but have my own hole to deal with. Not black hole but Sh!t Hole!! I am somewhat depressed but it is situational depression and I just try to keep my eye on the prize and not let it get me. the only way you can eat an elephant is a bite at a time.
House actually very nice but am still working my tail off to sell/donate this stuff.

Went to see a movie last night and am considering an AM 6 buck movie this morning. Can't take being in here hours and hours and days and days.

Wish I could answer everyone individually but i just don't have the juice.
There are still so many books and so much furniture to go but it is happening a little at a time.
I have a well meaning friend in Atlanta who is going to help me in the near future and last night he was telling me what I 'have' to do, etc etc as far as getting max value and I finally told him that I'll light a match to it all before I get sick again. He didn't understand that I have been cleaning up my mom and dad's mess since Sept of 2004. This has been a continuing problem with the possible only comparison of Hercules and the Stable.
I see the hoarders shows on tv and just laugh. gross but a piece of cake.
Those that were posting/reading summer of 2010 may remember when I almost died from heat stroke while cleaning out the 13,000sq ft building that had never been cleaned out since it was built 110 years ago.
If only this task was as easy as throwing it all away. It's books and people need to read in order to understand the world around them. this is the NE corridor and there are schools without books and now there is a library in my mom's name for one school and books for kids that never had any in urban centers in a 150 mile radius.
Trust me when I tell you that when you are finding homes for 125,000 books all you care about is moving books out the door and not into a Dumpster. Thank God for the Quakers.
we have 100+ cartons still to go.... then the furniture and then maybe an estate sale this weekend if I can tolerate the people. the weather is supposed to be nice but the estate/yard sales always make me sick because I can't stand the people. and no there isn't anyone else to run it.
I have tried EVERY avenue available in this area and those people are way more difficult to tolerate than the ones that show up for the yard sales. Aside from the fact that they all want cash up front. No kidding. then what's the incentive to sell? Welcome to NJ.

OK, that's the update for me. Don't need any pep talks but I thank you all and I just wish I had more energy to devote to giving you guys pep talks but I don't.

The only thing that I can tell you all about black holes is that they will eat you if you let them. Don't let them.
Take it from the AA program and use it a minute at a time and say ok, for this minute I am going to CHOOSE to not acknowledge the black hole.
Happiness is indeed a choice and not always or even sometimes an easy choice but it is a choice.
you have to force yourself because if you don't the alternative is unacceptable. If you are trying and it is still not working please get talk therapy. It is a proven treatment and just taking meds without talk therapy just means that you are only treating half the problem.
For those who are broke, there are programs that can help you in your state. Please look into them and get yourself out of the hole.

I love you guys way more than you'll ever know and I hope for the best for all of you.
So remember:
Screw the Hole......

lovbob

Hah! Boat Time for Bob!
couldn't help it... That's what keeps me going!
lovbob

With the support of the caregivers on the Grossed thread I am doing much better. Thanks and I love you all.

Sad and Alone. I'll be back to happy when I am clear of my mother's hoard.