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Rose (arose4yu)
Age: 36
Gender: Female

I am a mother juggling the needs of a business and Kindergartener. I am of the younger branch of caregivers. My parents were 20 years older than the parents of my peers. My mother passed away from Alzheimer's Disease, and my father is currently hanging in there with CHF/COPD. I'm also involved in the care of an important family member, the mother-in-law of my sister (belated husband).

I am caring for my father, Tony, who is 89 years old, living at home.

I am caring for someone, Betty, who is 88 years old, living at home and the primary ailment is alzheimer's / dementia.

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1Vet2NV commented 12/11/2010 at 8:21 pm

...I'm new on this site but found wall and comments uplifting in a twisted way... I was on a hunt for the bigfoot of "to do" caregiver check list and super stressed but found your wall.... this was a ...Read More

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:40 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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Bree gave a hug 5/25/2010 at 9:26 pm

hiya guys!!! I know I never visit anymore...but really youre always on my mind! I am soooooooooo depressed , even now that momz is in the home ...yep shes been there for about 3 months now.
But it aint been no cakewalk! I have had soooo many battles, finances fallen to nothing! and still more money problems! friends abannoed me...felt love for someone who i thought may be the one...he wasnt! hearbreak, let , downs, and poverty.....hey that could be a soap opera title! lol!!
She constanly calls , and if she doesnt here the magic words..YOUR COMIN HOME FOR GOOD... she looses it! I get insulted hung up on ...MADEA MAHEM!! Guys I still cry my heart out....I still grieve, I am a emotional mess, and whats bad is it depends on her mood...if shes content I will be..if not ..im not...i am soooooo attached to my momz...i know its part grief, and realizing what i have to face...AND FACING IT ALONE.
I try to keep busy...now i am job hunting. I dont go to see her every day ...now its like every other day. She does come home on weekends when I feel THINGS WILL GO OK, AND I CAN GET HER BACK...She has gone back on many occassions understanding that she has to be there for her "treatments" ( she thinks its a hospital) but other times its difficult and she stays...Guys I have come a long way...you have been a big support to me. Dont forget about me...keep my weary spirit and heart in your prayers.
Bree
ps!!!I HAVE NEGLECTED TO SAY MOMZ IS DOING WELL THERE! She doesnt want to be there forever , but she is accepting being there by the week.
As i said she comes home on weekends...when i feel like it.
She gets along well with every one...nurses, patients, aides, adminstrators.....they all thinks shes the bees knees! shes sooooooo sweet to them, She has sneaked in a couple smiles for me too....she is just so damn stubborn! when she starts missin her cats and home ..madea comes out...and the cruelty comes straight at me!

But there have been times i have just walked out..not come back for week! I am learning...but its such a hard way to learn.

jUST PLEASE PRAY FOR ME TO KEEP MY SANITY AND FIND OUT WHO BREE IS , AT THE END OF THIS!
THANKS MY FRENZ!!!

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mizunderstood10 gave a hug 4/4/2010 at 2:33 pm

Thanks so much for the hug!! :)

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frequentfliertx gave a hug 3/24/2010 at 3:14 pm

you're very kind thx :-) wayne

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frequentfliertx gave a hug 3/24/2010 at 2:46 pm

thx for your kind advice

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ksue5036 commented 3/11/2010 at 9:34 am

We are doing great. Thanks

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ksue5036 gave a hug 3/7/2010 at 12:07 am

Hope your doing well. Spring is just around the corner.

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Bree gave a hug 2/15/2010 at 5:45 pm

Hi guys.....I have managed to get momz in the nursing home...TODAY...A FEW HOURS AGO it wasnt tough at all, God really made a miracle for me...she is ok with it for now. She thinks she will be there f ...Read More

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momneedshelp gave a hug 2/4/2010 at 12:45 pm

Thank you arose4u, I didn't know that such a loop existed. I am just now learning the whole confusing Medicare mess. I appreciate your knowledge.

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Bree gave a hug 2/3/2010 at 5:36 pm

MY FRIENDS!!
I have been getting the legal stuff handled..power of attorney, living ill, etc. I have found a nursing home, gotten medical files to them...its coming close to being done.
...Read More

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robert888 gave a hug 1/29/2010 at 8:02 pm

I usually feel like the "odd" one out as I'm a single guy, in his late 30's taking care of my 86 yo father with AZ. You've got double! Hugs for that.

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Bree gave a hug 1/17/2010 at 7:51 pm

I like what you said to Belinda1, it is a encouragement to me also!
Ps...you are a lovely lady!
pretty pic.

Bree

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ksue5036 gave a hug 12/20/2009 at 10:02 am

I fine thanks, Have a great Christmas.

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Answered a question 2/1/2012 at 2:23 pm

How do you decide on nursing home or home care?

Trying not to sound too general because I know each situation is different. I just know that given the choice, most would want to spend their remaining days at home surrounded by family. I also wante ...Read More

Answered a question 10/18/2011 at 12:56 pm

How do you care for an Alzheimer's patient when they have aggressive behavior and hit their caretakers?

I agree with yellowfeever same thing with my mom when she was anxious. Lorazepam is Ativan for those who don't know.

Answered a question 8/26/2011 at 12:00 pm

Pick and choose. My husband told me that my mother cannot live with us anymore or he will be the one to leave. Who do I choose?

I also make time for my family and make sure their needs are not neglected. There is always a way and people always make excuses for why things can't be done...My whole thing is shut up and find a way ...Read More

Answered a question 8/26/2011 at 11:44 am

How do I tell my mother that her husband will not be coming home to her?

some will say you should tell her others will say you shouldn't. I'm in a similar situation as you with my father but our mother is gone. However you think will spare her is what I think you should do ...Read More

Gave a hug to 1Vet2NV 8/24/2011 at 2:34 pm

aw sorry this is late. I don't get on here often (very busy taking care of pops. :) but thanks for the nice compliment. I'm glad to be connected with other caregivers.

Answered a question 8/24/2011 at 2:33 pm

Why does my dad pretend he is asleep when I visit him in the nursing home?

or he could be like my dad and pretends he's asleep so he can listen in on your conversations!

Answered a question 8/4/2011 at 3:21 pm

What are the stages of congestive heart failure?

there is no cure for CHF, but if managed well patients can live a long time. My father is suffering from CHF and COPD. He has been living with CHF for awhile. The stages do involve progressive weakeni ...Read More

Answered a question 4/21/2010 at 1:57 pm

Can I receive funds for paying for respite care for myself?

in some states you can. You'll have to check with your Dept. of Aging.

Answered a question 4/3/2010 at 4:02 am

If medicaid pays to place a person into a nursing home, why doesn't medicaid pay the home caregiver so the person can stay home with family?

alzcaregiver, I understand--we are/were in the same boat. We couldn't qualify for our parents for IHSS, but we did get 1 year of a weekend caregiver by getting on a waiting list that the Southern Care ...Read More

Answered a question 4/1/2010 at 11:58 pm

If medicaid pays to place a person into a nursing home, why doesn't medicaid pay the home caregiver so the person can stay home with family?

what state do you live in? in California, they do. it's called IHSS (In home support services) they pay up to 100 hours of care for you or a caregiver you hire. Check with your local senior resource c ...Read More

Gave a hug to mizunderstood10 4/1/2010 at 11:51 pm

Commented on a discussion 4/1/2010 at 11:48 pm

I'm Angry With My Sister

that's the problem we have...we just have eachother, another sister (well she kind of has "issues" but does help), two brothers out-of-town and our oldest one uninvolved. I know exactly how you feel. ...Read More

Wrote on frequentfliertx's wall 3/24/2010 at 2:52 pm

sorry for the quick advice.. =) ..but in all seriousness it's something that only a doctor would be able to diagnose and none of us here. It could be signs of a stroke, dementia, chemical imbalance... ...Read More

Answered a question 3/24/2010 at 2:39 pm

My elderly father keeps falling out of bed and fainting. What is this a sign of?

take him immediately to the doctor --

Commented on a discussion 3/18/2010 at 10:41 pm

Bathing the Elderly

My mom used to do that in her early stages of dementia. She refused to take a bath. It was really hard to get her to do it but occasionally I'd help her take one, sometimes fighting with her but event ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 3/18/2010 at 10:36 pm

As dad's full-time caregiver, I secretly wish he would hurry up and die. How can I control these thoughts?

I think what you're feeling is very normal and I don't think it really means you WANT him to die per se but more that you're wanting a release from the burden. We've all felt what you feel from time t ...Read More

Answered a question 3/11/2010 at 1:23 am

Are there any financial benefits for children giving full time care for a elderly mother with dementia?

I don't know what state you live in.but most have similar programs. If she qualifies for Medicaid there is a program that can pay up to 100 hours to a caregiver ...that can be you or someone outside.

Answered a question 3/11/2010 at 12:20 am

How or what website can I find an adult out of house daycare?

check with your nearest senior center...usually in the yellow pages. In the grocery stores by my house they also have free publications on apartments/housing...you may see something for seniors. Insid ...Read More

Answered a question 3/11/2010 at 12:14 am

What kinds of assisted living facilities are covered by Medicare?

Unfortunately, assisted living is not covered by Medicare or Medi-cal/Medicaid and is normally paid of out-of--pocket or with long term insurance. The only options are nursing homes which the patient ...Read More

Answered a question 3/11/2010 at 12:10 am

How do you deal with an employer who is pushing you to make the choice between work and caring for an elderly loved one?

you should remind your boss of the Family Leave Act. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_and_Medical_Leave_Act_of_1993
as mentioned by the previous posters.

Gave a hug to ksue5036 3/11/2010 at 12:07 am

I'm doing as well as can be! We try to help eachother out. HOw about you? Hope you and your mom are doing well. Have a wonderful week.

Commented on a discussion 3/11/2010 at 12:04 am

I live with my 74-year-old dad and my two young children. My dad won't bathe or change clothes regularly. The house reeks.

He may be showing signs of dementia which you should alert his doctor to. If in fact he is showing signs, he can be put on Aricept or Namenda to help slow down the progress. Trust me, you'll want to ...Read More

Answered a question 3/11/2010 at 12:00 am

My mother talks non-stop, which makes it hard to communicate with my husband or watch TV. How do I get her to be quiet?

find something to distract her with. Does she like to read? or maybe you can get one of those portable DVD players for her and let her watch something. Engage with her too. Don't let her think you don ...Read More

Answered a question 3/7/2010 at 5:13 am

My mom has Alzheimer's and she is in a nursing home. I get physically ill at the thought of going to see her and I have to force myself to go. Does anyone else have this problem?

I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it's hard for me to visit as often as I used to and my parents are living at home with a caregiver. You give up so much of your life to take care of yo ...Read More

Answered a question 3/7/2010 at 4:50 am

My 80-year-old mother suffers from multiple health issues, but OCPD is her most serious condition. How do I deal with this?

My father has COPD. He was officially diagnosed last year even though he's been dealing with asthma for years. Just like Congestive Heart Failure and other diseases that are technically "fatal", COPD ...Read More

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