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Kathy (AmazingGrace)
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Location: Rome, GA

I am an only child. My daddy died of brain cancer a year ago. I lived with my parents and cared for both of them for 5 months while he was sick. When he died, I moved my mother in with me and my husband. She has had AD for about 13 years and is in the moderate to severe stage. I work 4 to 5 days a week and have a sitter who cares for her on those days. My husband lost his job about the same time my dad died. We started a new business and he spends most of his time with that. My son helps...Read More

I am caring for my mother, Margaret, who is 85 years old, living at my home and the primary ailment is alzheimer's / dementia.

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mhmarfil commented 12/30/2011 at 7:42 pm

Happy new year to you! how's your caregiving duties? are u done with it? or is it just starting all over again with another member of the family needing u 24/7? whatever your situation is, give yours ...Read More

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yellowfeever gave a hug 12/21/2011 at 9:46 am

Have a wonderful holiday season!
LOVE
JAMIE:)

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RLP commented 12/16/2011 at 5:27 pm

Thank you for the hug and encouragement. :)

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angelsuzie gave a hug 11/21/2011 at 11:12 pm

I am sending this hug to let you know that your concerns are felt and shared by other members of this wonderful community. Your quest, your openness, and your thoughtful responses, along with those o ...Read More

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yellowfeever gave a hug 11/19/2011 at 9:37 am

Hi, I was thinking about you and your mom! I hate to be personal but could you share with me things that you are experiencing with your mom, symptom wise? I guess I am searching for answers, or a time table. I know no two sufferers are the same. As much as I don't want to lose mom a part of me feels she needs to be a peace. My heart is pulling in two different directions.
Mom is 66yrs old. She was diagnosed with Dementia about 3yrs ago. Looking back I believe she started showing signs about the same time my dad died 6yrs ago. Everyone passed it off as grief of losing my father. I moved in with her 2 1/2 yrs ago basically in the beginning because of safety issues. Her dementia progressed at an alarming rate. Last year at this time, She was still considered at a moderate stage. By May 2011, everything flipped upside down. Within 3 days she stopped walking, her speech rapidly declined, and she wasn't able feed herself anymore. Thats when she moved on Hospice. 2 months ago I had mom weighed she was then only 75lbs. She lays in a fetal position because of muscles being contracted, She cries when I have to pull her legs to get her cleaned up and change her diaper. I now feed her pureed food/baby food via medicine syrigne. But her intake is very little. But I try my darnest to get food into her. Right now mom has slept for almost 24hrs straight. I did get her to awaken some to give meds and some food/liquid. I am so lost. She sleeps so still that I found myself this morning almost afraid to go close to the bed. That is my worst fear, that she will pass when I wasn't next to her. In my mind making me feel that she died alone and I let her down.
I know I am rambling, but sometimes I need to talk about things as I am sure you understand. This is such a hard time in both of our lives. I feel for you. But no matter what, WE will have no regrets. WE have given our all. WE have allowed our moms to remain at home. WE should pat ourselves on the back for being a great daughters.

I am just an email away if you ever need to talk!

Thinking of you,
JAMIE:)

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CrystalBtrfly gave a hug 11/18/2011 at 11:57 am

Sending caring thoughts and a hug your way!

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:44 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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mhmarfil commented 9/25/2010 at 11:10 am

Hi there! How's your caregiving life? I wish to have written earlier but just so busy multitasking and all the caregiving job. Almost three months ago, I was juggling work at the City Hall & mommy/dau ...Read More

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angelgirlpj gave a hug 1/23/2010 at 11:48 am

Thanks for the encouraging words, I've had to talk to God or ask others to agree with me in prayer the whole year of 2009. As you can see in my profile I have a Home Care for the Elderly business. Wha ...Read More

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pamela6148 gave a hug 1/13/2010 at 9:37 pm

You're doing a swell job and I can read through your writing how you've eased into your situation. I enjoy your post.

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SecretSister gave a hug 12/14/2009 at 7:21 pm

Thanks for your hug. Bless you!

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linda09 gave a hug 12/9/2009 at 9:06 pm

youre a sweetheart ! keeping your mom happy , bless your heart . she loves you !

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SecretSister commented 12/4/2009 at 12:12 am

Just wanted to say, I appreciate your posts. God shines through you, and gets the glory. Thank you, dear Christian!

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kariakemp1 gave a hug 11/25/2009 at 3:37 pm

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Asked a question 2/3/2012 at 9:11 pm

My mom is in late stage Alzheimer's. The social worker with Hospice tells me that I am suffering from Anticipatory grief.

Has anyone experienced this? At times I am extremely emotional about thinking about my mom dying. I get very depressed and can't even let myself think about it. But, at other times I have it together ...Read More

Gave a hug to lilymama 12/14/2011 at 9:38 pm

God bless you!

Gave a hug to yellowfeever 12/14/2011 at 9:36 pm

I so enjoy your posts and I actually think about you from time to time when I'm not even online. I think you are a very special person. God bless you...you and your mom are in my prayers!

Gave a hug to RLP 12/14/2011 at 9:23 pm

God bless you. I feel the same way as I continue to care for my mother in the last stages of Alzheimer's disease. However, I don't expect it will be 30 years before my time will come. You're in my ...Read More

Gave a hug to yellowfeever 11/19/2011 at 6:49 pm

Jamie, thank you so much for your hug and message. I'm so sorry to hear how far your mom has progressed into this horrible disease. It sounds as though she has progressed somewhat farther than my mo ...Read More

Answered a question 11/18/2011 at 5:06 pm

How will I cope when my mother dies here in my own home?

Thank all of you so much. Kuli, you are right on in making me realize that I should be focusing on the fact that I am financially, physically and emotionally able to keep and take care of her in my h ...Read More

Asked a question 11/17/2011 at 9:10 pm

How will I cope when my mother dies here in my own home?

I lived with and took care of my daddy and mother when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. When he died I moved mother into my home with myself and my husband. She was in mid stage Alzheimer's at the ...Read More

Answered a question 1/7/2011 at 6:34 pm

Mom has late stage Alzheimer's. Today I was told she has spot on brain from breast cancer over 15-years-ago. She lives with me. What can I expect now?

Today my mom's surgeon who did her mastectomy 20 years ago called me and made me promise that I would not let her have anymore treatments or tests. He ordered hospice for her and they are coming to o ...Read More

Answered a question 1/6/2011 at 9:14 pm

Mom has late stage Alzheimer's. Today I was told she has spot on brain from breast cancer over 15-years-ago. She lives with me. What can I expect now?

Thanks, PirateQueen. I've only talked to the ER doctor. He wants me to take her to her doctor next week. I guess I'll get more answers then. I'm too anxious. She is no longer rational and can't u ...Read More

Asked a question 1/6/2011 at 6:21 pm

Mom has late stage Alzheimer's. Today I was told she has spot on brain from breast cancer over 15-years-ago. She lives with me. What can I expect now?

I have a caregiver who takes care of her while I'm at work. I just don't know what to expect now.

Answered a question 4/30/2010 at 9:40 pm

My mother is in a nursing facility and I want to bring her home. Will she be able to keep her Medicare and social security benefits?

Not everyone who chooses to care for their elderly parents themselves rather than place them in a nursing facility makes that decision out of guilt. Yes, it is a challenge no matter what the circumst ...Read More

Answered a question 4/28/2010 at 9:41 pm

My mother is in a nursing facility and I want to bring her home. Will she be able to keep her Medicare and social security benefits?

Please don't let some of the responses scare you into changing your mind. You know in your heart what is right for your mother and if you feel positive about bringing her home, it will work out. The ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 4/16/2010 at 9:55 pm

My mother-in-law has Alzheimer's and my husband won't put her in a senior's home.

I'm in agreement with HelpfulWisdom. It's hard what you're going through, but please consider your husband's feelings, also. You know how much you love your own mother. Put yourself in his situatio ...Read More

Answered a question 4/14/2010 at 8:30 pm

My mom lives alone. When I check in on her she tells me she is eating, but she isn't. What can I do?

I kind of relate it to when we raised our children. If they ate one good meal a day, we didn't worry so much. My mother lives with us and most of the time she has a great appetite. But, some days s ...Read More

Answered a question 4/7/2010 at 1:27 pm

My mother has Alzheimer's and my father is her primary caregiver. I live with them and he expects me to fill in for him. Do I have the right to say enough and move on?

Well said, DanielRomero. I agree completely.

Answered a question 4/5/2010 at 3:38 pm

My mother has Alzheimer's and my father is her primary caregiver. I live with them and he expects me to fill in for him. Do I have the right to say enough and move on?

Ed, you voiced it in a much nicer way than I will. Josephine, either help out or move out, and stop thinking only of yourself. You might understand the abuse somewhat if you were caring for your spo ...Read More

Answered a question 3/30/2010 at 10:08 pm

My mother has Alzheimer's and my father is her primary caregiver. I live with them and he expects me to fill in for him. Do I have the right to say enough and move on?

I must say that I am in agreement with AlzCaregiver.

Commented on a discussion 3/17/2010 at 3:42 pm

Is the Nursing Home Over-Medicating Your Elderly Parent?

My mother is not in a nursing home. She lives with me and my husband. She has Alzheimer's disease and she gets very combative and hard to deal with at times. If I didn't have the anti-psychotic dru ...Read More

Gave a hug to Stuck 3/12/2010 at 8:49 pm

Thanks. You are exactly right and I know that this spring, I have to decide to get rid of some things that are never going to be missed by her. I just lost my dad a year ago, and I think that has a ...Read More

Answered a question 3/10/2010 at 8:45 pm

How do I get my mother to let go of some of her stuff, like clothing she will never wear and magazines that haven't seen the light of day in 4 years?

Isn't it funny how different people are. I am the one having a hard time getting rid of my mother's things, although I know that she will never need them again. At this point, she doesn't even reali ...Read More

Answered a question 3/10/2010 at 8:42 pm

My mother lives with my husband and I, but we want out. How can we get our lives back?

You definitely need to make other arrangements for your mother with you and your husband feeling as you do. Resentment will continue to grow and it will be bad for all. It does get hard at times, bu ...Read More

Answered a question 2/22/2010 at 9:38 pm

My dad is caring for my mother with Alzheimer's. She is very abusive to him and he can't do it anymore. What can we do?

I agree with Vickifisher and dross34. Medication can make an enormous difference. Some people don't want to take that route, but it is for the sake of all involved. My mother was very combative and ...Read More

Gave a hug to mizunderstood10 2/16/2010 at 12:38 pm

You need a hug!! I can completely identify with you. I am an only child so I have to hire a sitter if we ever do anything. I work also and have to pay someone. I pay $8.00 an hour, but my mom's so ...Read More

Answered a question 2/8/2010 at 9:33 pm

How do we know if it's best for my father-in-law to live with us or stay in a nursing home?

You and especially your husband should follow your heart and pray to God to help you find the right answer. My mother is living with me and my family and thank God that I have an understanding husban ...Read More

Gave a hug to loveme123 1/25/2010 at 8:26 pm

God bless you for loving your mom so much. You will be rewarded.

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