cgfollansbee gave a hug
12/30/2011 at 4:34 pm
June, we didn't find any magic words to convince Mom to accept the IH caregivers. We had to use tough love. The VN and Medical Social Worker helped us, too.
...Read MoreJune, we didn't find any magic words to convince Mom to accept the IH caregivers. We had to use tough love. The VN and Medical Social Worker helped us, too.
Mom has Mild to Moderate Cognitive Deficiencies. Her symptoms are progressing month by month. Because we all live so very far from her it is impossible to get to her or try to help her quickly. We understand that she doesn't want to loose her independance. But she's passing out and getting confused with her meds and a variety of other very concerning events have happened. So we had to get very insistant.
Her anger is a defence mechanism, we know. So we just have to let her be angry and we made appointments for intake processing despite her protests. We were there for the process and we tried to let her have some "control" over some of the decisions - but she didn't really. In fact, we had to lie to her. One of her biggest arguements is that she can't afford IH care because insurancee doesn't cover it.
There is no harm in lieing to protect Mom. The Case Worker was aware of Mom's position and helped us by insinuating that the County might cover the service. That is not true at all, but it meant that she longer had that arguement. I am Mom's POA and, before long, she won't even have the checkbook any longer. So for a while, my brother and I will cover this. In a while, we'll be able to reduce the expense to us, at least pay 1/3 out of Mom's income. Honestly, we think she'll eventually have to move to an AL facility. But for now, we just need to protect her and respect her and help her keep her dignity.
Keep in mind, she hasn't had the first IH caregiver come yet. That happens next week and it may prove to be a disaster - or we could have a success story. I'll keep you posted.
Good luck, hon. And remember to take care of you in this process.
(((hugs))) Carolyn (Bee)
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