Answered a question 8/7/2009 at 9:34 am
The decision to let our parent go with God is never an easy one. In 2002, my 90-year-old mother with end stage renal failure and having dialysis three times a week died. I had talked with her months
...Read MoreThe decision to let our parent go with God is never an easy one. In 2002, my 90-year-old mother with end stage renal failure and having dialysis three times a week died. I had talked with her months before asking what her wishes were. She did not want a feeding tube and voiced how tired she was and that she was ready to go when God was ready for her. I had all the paperwork in place, or so I thought. Yet, after she had the stroke in the hospital, the next day when I walked into her room, there was that feeding tube down her throat. The nurse told me I could not come in. I was livid and walked in and told the nurse to take the DAMN feeding tube out. My mother was looking at me like, "Why did they put this DAMN thing in yet again? Right after they took it out, she had a MAJOR stroke with facial distortions like I hope I never see again. I told her she could go. Then, a different nurse helped me to help my mother receive comfort measures including morphine, duragesic patch, Ativan, whatever she needed to make the dying process easier. I have a strong faith and know my mother is in heaven. It just pains me wondering WHY the doctors never help you with that decision and will just keep doing test after test giving you false hope instead of just saying to the family that they have done all they can and mom is tired and it is OKAY to let them go. It just staggers my mind that even when I asked for help from hospice and the patient advocate at the hospital that none was really given, yet as soon as I made that feeding tube decision it seemed like they all came out of the woodwork to be there. PLEASE, medical personnel, CHANGE this approach and BE THERE for the families ahead of time!!!! Sorry that I ran on, but I just want caregivers out there to know that the doctor is not going to make that decision and it is OKAY for you to make it for your loved one.