Family & Relationships
The queen is greedy! I need to vent.
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I was mymother's care giver for over 2 years. I have my own home , never married & no kids , so I stepped up & Left my house & moved in with my mom. But still kept my house. Now my mom just passed away. I wrote about how the (QUEEN VISITS) nOW SHE SAID DO U WAANT ME TO PICK UP THE DEATH CERTIFICATES. I said that would be great. NOW SHE IS RUNNING TO ALL THE BANKS TO SEE IF MOM HAD ANY MONEY, (GREED) My mom did have a littlle bit but . the queen has all the death certificates. My mom put my name on her account so I could pay bills with her money. but she didn't understand what she was doing at the time so all 5 kids r on a joint checking account. . I really didn;t think it would go like this but the (mean QUEEN IS NOW GREEDY---NEVER HELPED BUT NOW HAS CONTROL , & WHEN i SAY WHAT DID U DO TO HELP.? she says u voulteered. Yes I did other wise mom would of been in a nursing home 2yrs ago. Because u couldn't be botherd. eveytime I asked for help the ( QUEEN SAYS LOOK INTO NURSING HOMES. MOMwas no where near close to needing that, I am just sick over the control she now has, & couldn't be botherd when my mom was herer! Someone please help me ! She even wanted to know about my mom 's ss.. check
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Jan 17, 2013
Family members are rarely what we need them to be.... and when we are raw and vulnerable from loss, thier actions seem twice as appalling.. I'm sure the QUEEN has always been this way.... so she is not going to change... but hopefully you will look at who really recieved the blessings... and that would be you.... you were there for her... you didn't volunteer, you were chosen... because you would give your mom what she needed for the last part of her journey here on earth... so let the QUEEN scrounge for money... you can always look at her knowing YOU have not one regret.... prayers for you to the best of your ability, to let it go.... and not get caught up in the drama.... just let her do whatever she thinks she needs to do... you are the one with memories that no one can take away... the money will be gone... you will still have the memories.... sending you prayers and hugs...
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Make sure the queen, whoever she is, pays all the bills, too.
I don't see how having the death certificates gives her control. You can easily get more death certificates.
Ladee, what you wrote is very beautiful. Tanner56, ladee is right. Memories and knowing you were a good caregiver is the real payout. But vent away!!! It does help. But , phooey on the "Queen" , I say!
Thank ypu for all the GREAT comments . & you are all right ! I DO HAVE THE GREAT MEMORIES. But I would give anything to take care of her again. I guess if the queen has proof of death than maybe she is entitiled to something ...I don't know how it works ! It's a good thing I can write because my voice is so horse from SCREAMING. I am doing my best to try & keep the peace because I am just worn out ! It is really draining to see this come out in the QUEEN. I knew she couldn't be bothered with helping but (GREED ) I never saw it comming.
If your name is on an account, you don't need a death certificate to withdraw your share or ALL of the money.
If your name isn't on the account, the death certificate gives you no rights whatsoever. Any one can obtain a death certificate and go waltzing into a bank.
The Queen may be exceedingly greedy, but the death certificates give her no power whatsoever.
Tanner56I know all about having a sibling that is not there when you need them. I know as soon as my Mom passes away my brother and sister in law will be here with a truck and half of everything they can get their hands on. My brother is all about money. He lives 50 miles away and never calls. My friends all tell me to get my mom to do a will that leaves him out totally. They are disgusted with him too. He even wanted my mother to get a reverse mortgage so he could (get the money from the house now). My brother has also hinted that she should be in a home. This would kill her. As long as I can take care of her I will. Sorry, i guess i am venting instead of helping with your vent. Just know that you can sleep at night knowing you did the right thing and all those wonderful memories you have.
Jan 18, 2013
I LOVE all your comments. Thank you I got a hold of moms financial people/ they all kew me from taking care of mom even before she became ill .. So they all headed the QUEEN off at the pass. They also knew I was the only one that was here for mom. Even in the eulogy the Queen was mentioned as (the visitor) SO I guess everything is falling into place now. thanks for letting me vent, when I needed it most.
Feb 19, 2013
Tanner, I'm sorry about the passing of your mother. I just happened to find this thread and decided to read it because the Headline was intriguing. I so did not regret it! I was entertained by the shenanigans of the Queen and was worried that she triumphed you - the peon (?) or cinderella (daughter who did all the work yet the stepsisters were pampered.) I'm glad that your story even had a nice ending with the Queen being routed. =)
I am the caregiver for my 97 yr old father. My brother lives 3 hrs away. He visits twice a year. His wife recently was in the hospital. She's now home and back to work. I discovered that my brother crumbles under pressure. I keep him informed by phone of the many difficulties I have with our failing father. All my brother says is "why is he doing that?" The last phone call he told me he has to distach himself from this because he gets too stressed out. I continue to call him when things happen since I live with it every day. If he can't be here for support, then he should at least try to offer some constructive input. I know I'm not alone is this situtation, however, it would make it easier having help and support from family..
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