She's packing again!

Pandora,

I don't have this problem, but I googled "alzheimer's packing up to go home" and found many similar stories -- so this is NOT unusual for AD patients.

Here are some ideas offered:

The need to go home is the need to go back in time to a place where you are loved and safe. This is especially common when the patient begins to experience difficulty with consistent recognition of familiar people.

People with AD have changes in their visual perception that limit their ability to recognize objects and places, making familiar places seem unfamiliar. If the behavior occurs later in the day it means fatigue is compounding the problem. If her home does not look familiar, it can be frightening.

One approach is to use validation - "Tell me about your home. Are you feeling homesick? What about your home do you miss? Who is there for you?"

Always reassure the person that you are there with them and that they are safe. The one thing that doesn't work is trying to convince the person it IS their home.

Ask her to stay a few days longer--
You need her to stay a few days because you need help, or the house is being worked on, I will be out of town for a few days, etc. Use the memory loss to your advantage. These things work if short term memory does not work and she does not remember this later.

I found it best to get my mom off the subject as soon as possible. If I did not change the subject, she would go on about going home for almost an hour. This just gave her to opportunity to practice and reinforce her speach. But she would not be easily redirected immediately. She would still demand to go home for a few minutes until I could finally redirect her.

1. don’t try to convince her she is wrong. Ask her to tell you about the home she longs for: who lives there; what she would be doing: and why it feels safe.
2. Reassure her that you will keep her safe
3. Redirect: Try to involve her with a familiar activity such as helping you prepare supper.
4. Increase her rest periods during the day so she is not so fatigued in late afternoon.
5. If the behavior includes agitation, crying or trying to elope, speak with her health care provider to check for urinary tract infection and/or determine the need for medications for anxiety.
6. Enrolling the person in adult day programming provides additional structure and the reinforcement that she is now “home” in the afternoon.

Plan something special like tomorrow when I come I will bring your favorite ice cream and we will sit in the family room together and eat our ice cream. Or tomorrow I will come and bring you something special for your room and take her a little gift for her room. What did she like in her bedroom at home think about that and bring her something that you know she will like. It doesn't have to cost very much. Maybe a picture for the wall that she can help you hang. Just some thoughts.
Just a thought also make sure she is free of any infection like a UTI as this can cause this type of behavior. Ask for her to be checked for infection.

Moreover, is there a pattern? For example, if it occurs later in the day, it may be her _expression_ of fatigue and the need for a rest, or that the TV is bothering her. If it is earlier in the day, there may not be enough structure and she doesn't know what to do next (thus day care might be of real benefit), or she may be suffering from depression.

Instead of trying to convince her that this is your home now.... acknowledge her distress and that you love her and want to help. Give hugs instead of explanations. They are easier, mean more, and are a lot faster than trying to approach with reason.

AJL2001 what great advise, I would like to add that if this person is in a 'private' assisted living type area, that it may be time for her to be moved to where there is more structure AND more people around her.

Wanting to 'go home' really is triggered by not feeling comfortable or safe or secure. Perhaps moving her to where there is more activity, structure and will keep her occupied and happier.

ODD behavior can also be an indication of a something as simple as a urinary tract infection. Sounds odd, but could be the case. Have her checked out medically too. And talk to the management about perhaps looking into more 'secure' living arrangements at the same facility.

Thank you so much for your insights and invaluable suggestions. It makes perfect sense to me now, that she would want to go back to a home that she loved and a time when her life was going well and filled with happiness.
She lives in her own apartment in an assisted living facility. She DID have a UTI, also. I managed to persuade her doctor to admit her to the hosptial and he did a brain scan and other tests that she was refusing to have.
She went back to her apartment and my sisters had unpacked her. She stayed there for one week and packed up again. They just ignored it and a day later, she unpacked again. Part of this is a repetitive behavior, I think, and yes,it is motivated by unfamiliar surroundings. Nothing looks right or like home to her.
My sisters take her out for ice cream all the time.....it really seems to comfort her. I live in another state, or I would be with her often. We have upped her care and she is getting more support.
I can't thank you enough for your posts, I am going to print them and send them to my sisters.

I am a private caregiver for 25yrs. I am currently working out of a very nice assisted living facility. I see this every day and for someone who works in these types of facilities tells you otherwords then they haven't been working there very long. This happens all the time. Especialy if she has been there a short while. What you need to do is to check with the facility and see if they have such a program where someone who works for the facility comes and takes your mom for a certim amount of hours during the day and does activities with her, mental and some exercises, etc. I know most facilities have something like this. If they do not, you can hire a person to come in and spend some time with your mom, go for walks with her, talk with her. I know most elderly want to talk about their childhood years or about their children when they were little etc. The person you bring in can do wonders for your mom, she will not be lonely anymore. I am sure your mom is lonely, and feels like she has no one she can talk to. She's in a new place with new people. I know I walk my lady to the breakfest, lunch, or dinner table where there are other ladies and I interduce her to everyone on that table. and every time she needs to eat. I always try to take her back to the same table, if she was comfortable the first time. Keep taking her back to the same place, untill she starts making friends with others. This is very important. Good luck