Changing the Power of Attorney

My sister in law is Power of Attorney for her mother. Her mother now wished she had made my husband (her son) the POA, but she has now been diagnosed with dementia. My sister in law lives out of state and wants to go back home leaving us with the care of her mother. It will be hard to handle things with her still as POA. Are there any legal actions that we can take to get the POA.

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Give a Hug

Jan 20, 2010

If i were in your position I would tell my sister-in-law that you and your husband would love to take care of mother but only if given POA, if not then you'll have to take her with you to your new home. Don't waver if she really wants this she'll come around.

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lach61

Give a Hug

Jan 20, 2010

Newprod3,

I agree with S. If your sister wants to leave the state and go to another, then she'll either: a) have to give up POA or b) take her mom with her. It's a headache if she doesn't give up POA and she's in another state. She's not doing your mom any favors by keeping the title of POA. Do NOT, by any means, waiver (sp?) on your end.

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bobbie321

Give a Hug

Jan 20, 2010

the above is genius advice. take it and let us know what your sil decided!

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AlzCaregiver

Give a Hug

Jan 20, 2010

We ran into a snag with this when the sister who had POA for Mom turned out to be interested in Mom's money mostly, and helped her self. But she still had POA...we just didn't think early enough to have Mom transfer it to me,her 24/7 caregiver.

Then... Mom is officially diagnosed with dementia, so cannot herself assign a new POA, me. Sister did willingly sign over POA, but by then the county sued for conservatorship...and when they do that they want both financial and health. So, see two snags, sister not willing to give up POA...and mother not competent to sign her own assignment of POA. Mom's wellbeing was in limbo for several weeks. Not good.

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linda09

Give a Hug

Jan 20, 2010

i take care of my father and my brother is poa , lives a thousand miles away . i have no problem with him begin a poa . he takes care of legal matters and pays dad s bills . when i get a dr bill i just mail it to my brother and let him take care of it . when dad needs money my brother will write dad a check and mail it to us .
alot of people says i should be poa since dad is with me . well i dont think i could handle the stress dealin with legal matters and dad s bills plus takin care of him .
dad has his credit card if he wants to shop or i need to pay for his meds . dad always said let that baby boy pay for it .
its stress free !!! i am glad my brother is a poa ...

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DanielRomero

Give a Hug

Jan 20, 2010

In a perfect world your sister would say "since you're devoting the time and energy, and I will be out of state, would you like me to relinquish POA to you?".
Although, I do like with S's advice, there are some questions you need to ask yourself
Where will you mother be happiest and get the best care?
Are you willing to accept responsibility for all of your mother's needs?
Will you be happy with your mother out-of-state?

There can be a split POA one for finances and one for health. If your mother's estate affords her care, then maybe having your sister take care of her finances would be one less burden if you decide to have her remain with you.
You must think about what's best for your well-being along with your mother's best chance to live out her life with dignity.
Take some time to decide how to proceed. Once again, I do like S's suggestion, but sometimes an ultimatum is not the best place to start a discussion

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LCofKerensTX

Give a Hug

May 19, 2010

My sister and I have joint POA, which works out perfectly. So if your sister isn't willing to sign over her POA, you might compromise with joint POA.

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