Social Activities for Exercising the Mind

Everything in the article is so true. My mother will be ninety, is still independent and keeps active. We do something together at least once a week but see each other every day since she lives in a apt. across the street. She comes over to my house and loves to make beds and clean out the dishwasher. It makes her feel needed.

You forget to mention that loving, tender, and thoughtful care for one's parents remain the bedrock of stimulating their minds towards a more healthy ageing. If added with remembrance of family traditions and frequent family reunions with relatives, then they will be happy and mentally active.

My father in law had a stroke a year ago and has dementia as well. I am home with him during the day and he stays in his room and gets up to use the bathroom, take a shower or come to the table for a meal. We go out every day to pick up the kids from school and sometimes on the weekends we go out. He doesn't talk much at all even if we try starting a conversation. He talks to his other son on Saturdays by phone but rarely leaves his bedroom. He is mobile but unsteady most of the time in walking. We use a wheelchair when we go shopping. His grandkids don't really want anything to do with him most of the time. I'm just at a loss with what to do.

Hi dolphin, I too am at a loss. I love the article above, but it just does not apply at all to my father with dementia, age 74, who would rather plant his but on my couch, and not associate with anyone half the time. He's always mad at me for his own guilty feelings. Try to get him involved in jig saw puzzles, crossword puzzles, too complicated for him anymore, and he gets frustrated. The only thing he seem able to do to occupy his mind is read magazines. We do take him out shopping, or wherever we go, but it takes forever to walk through the store, because he shuffles. His grandkids also don't want much to do with him, because they never know how he is going to react to them. This morning my 12 year old daughter made him a pancake breakfast, and he says "I don't want any!" Mean crotchety old man, just because he's mad at me. Sorry, this is a letter for venting. Anyway, my point is that this does not work for some who fight EVERY issue, and don't even know why.

Check out this article from our community moderator Carol Bradley Bursack on "Keeping your Aging Parents Busy." It might have some information and advice you can use:

www.agingcare.com/Featured-Stories/133184/Keeping-Seniors-Busy.htm

I like the sentiments, but it certainly doesn't apply to everyone. So many people on this site struggle with parents who cannot do most of the things suggested. It is understandable why they are angry, depressed and difficult to care for. Many things they used to accomplish and enjoy are impossible now. My once active, intelligent Dad now lays in bed with Advanced Stage Alzheimer's Disease, and can't even dress or feed himself. I tried to take him for walks, but the stimulation was too much for him, and only confused and disoriented him. He refuses to get up and do anything with us most days, though he can still walk. He used to love to play games, but can't remember how any more.

If our parents could do these things, they would, and we wouldn't even be having this discussion. For those of you who have parents who still can enjoy them, thank God. But for many of us here at this site, it's just rhetoric, and the Care Givers are grieving! God bless all of you. You're angels!

Article after article on keeping seniors busy. It's a nice thought, but still, none of these apply. Want to know how my father kept busy? He would drive to the local staples to buy stamps EVERYDAY. Why you ask? Because he was so busy filling out these sweepstakes that promised he was going to be a millionaire, and mailing them everyday, along with checks, and purchasing their cheap merchandise. He spent hundreds each month doing this, and sending checks to charities, and sending coupons for charities with his credit card number, and signature. He got on the major mailing list, and had piles of this crap, which I had the joy of sorting through and shredding. He was addicted to it. He would get 20 phone calls a day from various places, even foreign countries, telling him he had won $30,000, but first he would have to send them a $200.00 money gram. This he did, much to my horror later on. This is how he kept active, and his mind busy. Now he is having withdrawals from it. You think I'm joking? He got hold of a mail order catalog yesterday and filled out a coupon with a $200.00 check enclosed for the miracle pill that promises to add 20+ years to your life, money back guarantee? How do you get your money back if you die ten years from now? OOOOOPS!!!! They forgot to mention that one.

Funny Nause! you always make me lol or cry. It's amazing how vulnerable our loved ones can be when judgment starts slipping.

Sorry to be so harsh about this topic. If it is a blessing to some, great! But the rest of us need triage!!!

I think I will start to work on my mental agility and memory before I start to become the same way. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

NAUSEATED, I think your humor will keep you agile enough. Thanks for making me laugh some more!

Increase our parent's mental agility and memory? Tell that to Mr. Alzheimer's. Never mind, he died, too.