Caring for an aging parent can be stressful beyond belief. It is not uncommon for the stress and burden to take a serious toll on you and your spouse's relationship. Here are some tips for nurturing your marriage while at the same time caring for your aging parents:
1. Don't procrastinate
Sometimes when you are stressed it seems like there is never time to talk about your feelings, so you keep them bottled up inside. But when bottled up for too long, things tend to explode, so don't wait until next week when your schedule will be less hectic. If this week you have too many doctors appointments to accompany your parent to, next week the kids might get sick. Soon, "next week" never comes.
2. No topic is off limits
Married couples must be able to talk about everything. Trust each other. Talk about whatever is on your mind and let your spouse do the same. All subjects are fair game —the good, the bad and the ugly.
3. Listen
Don't do all the talking. Don't interrupt. And listen, really listen to what your spouse is saying. Sometimes, it's helpful to repeat back what they say, in your own words, to make sure there is no confusion or misinterpretation.
4. Don't wallow in self-pity
It is a wasted emotion. No problem has ever been solved by feeling sorry for yourself or your situation. The old saying rings true: Happiness comes from looking at the glass half full, rather than half empty. It is easy to say, but much harder to do. It takes practice and consciously thinking about what's running through your head – and talking back to that negative voice. Instead, think positive thoughts. Grab the bull by the horns and work for solutions.
5. Don't cast blame
The blame game doesn't work and it is destructive. During tough times, there is a natural tendency to blame the one you love. The truth is, there is usually no one to blame for the situation. Someone has to take care of aging parents and the job fell on you. Rather than blaming, find ways to work as a team.