Sick with worry: How thoughts affect your health

I would add that when you ALREADY have a chronic illness, stress just adds to the problem - or should I say shortens your life span? I don't find many articles about caregivers who are often in worse health than the people they are trying to look after.

Caregiving is especially stressful when you have a very painful family history and are forced to confront it all the time through involvement with your parents. That's been the hardest part of the process for me.

Elaine, I am dealing with the same issue. Mom moved near me a few months ago and all the old issues have resurfaced.

The hardest part for me is being trapped here and not able to go out and be active. No one to talk to , I end up eating "crap" all day and have high BP, triglycerides, etc. I am afraid to go back to the dr because she will put me down for not taking care of myself. I may change doctors. Just feel tired , get mom up dressed, etc, then the day drags on, and on. People who are non caregivers just don't understand, so they're no help. I just have to keep plodding along , I guess. And, like others here, have sibling who are hurtful.

sskape1,
I read your comment and I feel like I wrote it. Trapped is almost an understatement. I know my health has went down hill with depression(I actually quit seeing my dr. cause he wanted my to go on antidepressants and I was insulted) and weight gain like 40lbs in under a year!, I do not socialize(cause I hardly ever leave the house) with no one I was close to my sister however we are no longer speaking due to the fact she won't help me! I do have my hubby to talk too but he no longer listens our marriage is in chaos. Stress, I have, I take out on him, so I won't take it out on my mother, I have isolated my self from my kids and him. I am so exhausted. But I feel that if something happens to my mom today, I would have no regrets cause I know I tried my best no matter what anyone thinks!!! only caregivers understand all the emotional and physical stress. I feel as though I am looking out a window in pause mode watching as life outside is moving in fast forward leaving me behind!!!!

I feel that our stress is added to when well-meaning relatives don't want to hear the negative stuff about our mom or dad, because that is not the "picture" they have of our mom or dad in their minds. For example, they may not "see" the dementia that we see in our parent. So having to keep a lot of the burden to myself has put added stress on me. I have needed to talk to a counselor and my physician, and this has been a great help, because they understand and are truly empathetic.

I believe that caregiver stress is one of the most crucial health care issues we face today. As a geriatric care manager, I see so many stressed caregivers and I also see many resources that are available to help. I urge everyone to contact their local Area Agency on Aging, Alzheimer's Association, Senior Center, etc. There are support groups available and volunteers who will help. Neighbors and church groups may be willing to lend a hand. Remember that when you allow someone to make a contribution to you and their loved one and express your appreciation, they receive as much or more than they give. Help is available!

As to resources, unfortunately where I live there are few - and also the fact is that many elderly people do not want an 'outsider' coming into their home to help with housekeeping, etc. And the church people seem to have their own situations to deal with, so I am basically on my own.

Yes, I have a sibling who not only does nothing, but accuses me of lying that my health is going downhill AND also accuses me of embezzling money from my mother's accounts, asking for a year's bank statements at a time - which prove I am not - yet never, never has apologized for any of the hateful things she has said.

Babesy, If it helps, just know that I believe you when you say your health is going downhill, even though your sister apparently doesn't. I know, it just adds insult to injury when you are working your hardest, and then your health declines, and sympathy is not forthcoming from certain individuals-----even when you tell them flat out that you are sick, tired, whatever. I believe you, and I applaud you for all that you are doing for your mother.