The Difference Between a POA, Durable POA and Living Will

I care for my ex-husband. He has two daugther that live in his house.He made me POA last year. and made a living will And advance derecves.At that time he was aware of what has doing.He didn't want to tell his daugther about. So we didn't.
Do I have to tell them about this. My ex., has forgotting that he did that. It took place in the Probate Juege's office. I never say any thing about it to him.

My father is elderly and a widower,he is an alcholic and was recently hospitalized. My brother and his girlfriend have lived on my parents land for free and muuched off them, they both drink and do drugs,(how can i prove it?)not paying anything and taking advantage,i had to care for my mom at hospital and home. they signed their land over to my brother afraid they would lose it because of her medical bills.He is very mean tempered and will not let me in there to help with my dad. Now my dad will be going to a skilled care facility for a while and i am worried about his finaces and care now and when he returns home,they say he is compentent to make his own choices but i think my brother and his girlfriend are cleaning him out..his bank account was way overdrawn last month and has never been,they say its his signature but he does not remember signing them,signatures can be forged..please help,i only want my dad protected and cared for

jennyguthary, do you have durable POA? Even if you do not these checks were not signed by him must be looked into by the police.

sammie, it is very nice of you to take care of your ex. From my own experience with my mother and step-dad, I think his daughter should know. My mother gave me durable and medical POA over her and wrote up a living will back in 2002 without telling my step-dad. I've had to use the POA since 2009 and my step-dad does not like me since he was not told. Good luck.

and how can these things verified if you are being prevented from getting any info on mom?
by brother and their lawyer?

same here,i cannot get info because brother refuses to give it to me or allow me on premises to get it from my father. He also makes it difficult for my dad to hear me on phone and understand what i am saying by being right there (he is intimadating my dad?) or having so much background noise as soon as we start to speak it confuses my dad and he cant hear me..this has happened with the bank too,they cannot get him to hear them or understand so they can verify that he does agree to let me handle his finances with him,and that means i cant pay his bills or get info on his account..wont that work against me as his POA in court? that i am not taking care of his responsibilities? but i cant get info needed to do it!! oh,so feel like i am beating my head against brick wall after brick wall,this is adding so much stress to my physical health,which is not good,that my doctor is worried about my health

oh, i do have POA but at this time it has done little good because dad cannot understand what is being said (above comment) He asked that i be POA and also medical durable POA at health care facility..he was released the other day and chose to go home..i did try to get him to stay with me for awhile but he wanted to go home and the doctor says he is competent..he stated to nursing staff i was the most responsible child he had..the staff at health care was also notary,and witnesses to all paperwork done before his release,thanks so much for your help too

I am having trouble with my brother,who now has control over mom.It used to be shared-then i was told it was changed(the POA's-t he refuses to show me the changed documents.he refers me to his lawyer-a person who I fired as a lawyer for dad, when he passed-I dont trust this person,and he doesnt like me,considering past -mybrother and he are friends- I digress- are these important documents filed anywhere ?iI need to see what is what-mom is still alive- in a nh-moved by my brother to mass.where he lives-howeverhe doesnt spend much timewith her-, i am in ny. anywayhow can I get a look at these papers? i am concernedthat some of what mom wants is being changed -in writing- like when she dies-she always wanted to be cremated-now i hear mybrother is planning to have her buried-next to dad- she isnt dead--and anyone who knows her knows that isnt what she has ever wanted.can u help?or refer me?i may have to hire another lawyer-but it seems so outrageous-that this cannot be worked out- thanks for anyinput k

my dad isin his mid 80's. He wont let anyone know his plans or any final wishes. he lives alone because he is so mean to everyone. we can only visit or talk for short while. Things are worse since Mom passed 2 yrs ago now. I worry n tried to get closer to him, but he started a big fight w/ me & threw me out of his house. He acts like nothing ever happened because of him. If he gets sick, I don't know what to do w/ him. he is a homeowner & keeps up his own bills. I wish I could get him to sell & live here w/ me,but, he is so miserable, life would not be good for anyone dealing w/ him. He is letting the house fall down around him and the rental appartment upstairs remains empty while he lives there because he wants quiet. Also, no one would be able to live near him anyway. When or how can anyone in the family get control over him?

Until he can be declared incompetent to handle his business in a business like manner and you or someone and thus go to court to get guardianship over him, you will have to wait. He sounds like a very mean man. I don't think you would want him living with you.

My experience was very similar and I believe the root of the problem was when just
one person is named as the POA. I highly recommend co-POA's.
When problems arise, even is there is only 1 POA, the family might consider mediation or hiring a reputable elder-account who can give advice for all. Neither
of these options is cheap but we followed this route after a very difficult time of sibling in-fighting and it has made a great difference.
It is important to remember that family law varies per state so it is critical to inform yourself of the law regarding POA/will/etc. in your own state. All of this is available online or at the local library. Make copies of all that is helpful!