How much would I do differently if I knew then what I know now? I'm not sure. I'm an obsessive caregiver. But I do think I'd try to take better care of myself. I'm sure I'd be on the AgingCare forum as a regular – as I am now, but I wouldn't have been moderating. I would have had an anonymous user name and followed closely the threads that I related to most.
I think I'd make time for those annual physicals, and I think I'd be more honest with my doctor about my stress level and the reason behind that when I did go. When my caregiving was at its peak, most doctors weren't aware of the toll caregiving takes on the health of the family caregiver. Now most of them are. Tell your doctor that you are a family caregiver. Caregiving is a job. It's a stressful job.
If you have more than occasional thoughts about "running away from it all," that is a danger sign. Your own health may be breaking down. Look for help on your state website under their version of "aging services." On that site, find your state's version of The Family Caregiver Support Program. See what they can offer you for respite care, peer-to-peer support and even information on some financial help so you can get a break. Remember, if your health breaks, you won't be there to care for anyone. Also remember that if you are unwell – mentally and/or physically – you won't be able to be the caregiver you want to be.
Please look to your state's aging support site to help direct you to care and support that is out there. Some states offer more than others, but all have something. If you have an Area Agency on Aging in your community, they too are wonderful. Block nurse programs give help in some communities. There are options that only your local people can help you with. So check that state website. Also, try your local Alzheimer's Association. Try to get some help so you can take care of yourself. Then you won't be as likely to feel like running away – at least not as often.
Elder care author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack is an AgingCare.com contributing editor and moderator of the
AgingCare.com community
forum.
Read her full biography