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Step Away From the Donut: The Perils of Emotional Eating

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As far back as breast or formula feeding, most of us learned that a sweet taste meant care and comfort. As we grew into more grown up foods, we generally learn to equate certain goods with comfort. Our parents picked up on these foods and would offer them as treats. Ice cream, anyone?

Somewhere deep in our subconscious most of us learn to connect food – at least certain types of food – with nurturing, comfort and solace. Caregivers, stressed to the max from trying to stay ahead of the needs of elders or others who depend on their care, often turn to food to comfort themselves or to relax. There tends to be a "I deserve this" mentality, and caregivers do, indeed, deserve to be pampered somehow. It's human and actually very good to want to comfort ourselves when we are stressed or even bored.

Cabin Fever and Stress Eating

Picture this: a middle aged woman at home caring for her elderly mother who has stage three Alzheimer's. The daughter who is the primary caregiver knows she is fortunate to have a husband who earns a good living, enabling her to care for her mother at home, full time. However, day after day goes by and the daughter doesn't have any time for herself. She doesn't have any "me" time when she isn't on call because of her mother's needs. This can lead to resentment, even if it's subconscious.

While the caregiver's mother may not need active attention every minute of the day and night, the mother does need supervision. The daughter eventually becomes stressed from feeling cooped up without the option to leave the house. She is bored, as her mother's communication is limited and repetitive. The caregiving daughter has little interaction with the outside world.

She knows she is fortunate to be able to stay home and care for her mother. She feels guilty for her occasional resentful feelings about her situation, since she knows many other people would love an option like hers. The only thing that seems brings her comfort is food.

Lately there have been studies pointing to the fact that middle-aged women are prone to eating disorders. I'd like to see statistics on how many of those women are caregivers. We see questions on the AgingCare.com forum from women who have gained considerable weight during the months or years they've been caregiving. Many have gradually turned from seeking occasional comfort from food to what may be a full-blown food addiction. Food becomes to them the only realistic way that they can relieve their stress.

 
 

Comments

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 22 
 
 

JenJilks

Give a Hug

May 21, 2011

I've been giving volunteer care, to a hospice client, and have been eating again! This article is so true. Now I have had an injury and cannot do anything. Do you think I can back of the treats? Nope. It is now a lifelong habit: stress eating, and immobile due to my injury.

 
 

PCVS

Give a Hug

May 21, 2011

What I want to know is why the chosen example is a caregiver with a spouse whose job "allows" her to stay home, etc. Almost none of the other caregivers I know fit that dream example. Most are like me: single and struggling to make ends meet. And the ones that aren't single are usually caring for their own spouse.

To the point, however; I wonder how many people are going to be able to take the time to write and read a food journal when the despair is foremost, time is not their own and grabbing a treat is quick and mostly satisfying. I don't feel guilty about having a treat although as a health conscious person I do try to have treats that have no trans fats, are made with non-GMO ingredients, and only ingredients that themselves are food. True, I can stand to lose what I consider to be a lot of weight (I'm not obese and even though I can still carry off the weight it is far too much for my size), but I try to do that by eating healthy foods (and my mother benefits as well). I would love to get my fitness back (I used to be a ballerina) but that's going to take some other finagling of time and circumstances.

 
 

LivingSouth

Give a Hug

May 21, 2011

And step away from the choc chips bag, pudding cups... I would not have time to stop and write. Maybe a better solution would be to get on the treadmill or get outside for a while - or have something healthier like apple sauce, low fat granola, etc.

 
 

Ruth1957

Give a Hug

May 21, 2011

I do nutritional counseling, and just wrote an article called 'Snap Out Of It' about mindless eating. It takes the best of us down! Your body craves minerals, vitamins, water, and amino acids. Deprive it and you will be in serious trouble!!! Good article.

Ruth

 
 

bpryor01

Give a Hug

May 21, 2011

I read the caption and instantly wanted a donut. Actually 3. A regular glaze. A raspberry and a maple. I can actually smell the maple. Lord help me!

 
 

JenJilks

Give a Hug

May 22, 2011

When my Dad was dying, there was a lot of sitting around. I quit work, too, and wasn't expending as much energy. Add to that, we'd eat out a lot, and the caloric intake was horrible.
I was eating excellent foods, having balanced nutrition, just way too much due to restaurant lack of portion control. Nutrition is a big part of the Ontario JK - Gr. 8 curriculum and I taught it in all grades. The problem is that these bad habits become 'normal'. And they creep up on you. Emotional eating is difficult to break.
I lost 30 lb. when I divorced, but have no more motivation to stay slim!
It is such a profound life change to both quit work, and become a caregiver. We should get medals for this work!

 
 

msw

Give a Hug

May 22, 2011

I am taking care of mother and father. I turn to food to take care of the stressed out feeling. However, I eat low carbs... like a shake with almond milk and blueberries and strawberries or a bowl of steaming spinach with soy sauce and sesame seeds... 1 minute in the micro using frozen spinach... soon I sit with my face in that bowl... inhaling the soothing steam... it helps. Instead of writing a food diary, this forum helps the most. Others who are thinking the same thoughts.

 
 

Ruth1957

Give a Hug

May 23, 2011

Couple of tips I use in coaching are raw vegetables chopped, and kept in the fridge in a big bowl. Reach for that 100 times a day if you want to! Fiber is absolutely your friend. Eating as much raw as possible really helps. Coconut oil is also a wonderfully filling, helpful food. It's great at helping whisk bad fat away.

 
 

PCVS

Give a Hug

May 23, 2011

How do you keep the chopped veggies from getting soft over time? Do you chop up a new batch every day?

 
 

nmag51

Give a Hug

May 23, 2011

I don't think staying home with mom is a dream situation. On the other hand neither is working full time and then helping mom. I am so stressed out and poor from all of it that an outside treat that includes spending money is really not possible. Family help also not an option because they basically refuse to have their lives disrupted. They can't be inconvenienced????? I DO try to get some exercise but the donuts add up quicker than the exercise so I am left with extra pounds. It makes me feel so desperate. Any other suggestions anyone??? Help!

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 22 

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