Don't let the title scare, you, folks. I'm not presenting a "system" here. Personally, I've never seen a chart or graph designed to help me organize my life that I didn't intentionally ignore. "Systems" designed by experts never seems to consider my life or personality. They seemed like cardboard cutouts, made for some dream life. Textbook examples often don't take real life into account. My response to most "systems" would be a quiet, internal, "You are not me."
That being said, tips and thoughts from people whose lives have closely mirrored mine, in at least some aspects, have been generally welcome. I like stories. I like knowing how people make their lives work. If ideas are presented to me that way, I feel the flexibility of personalities and lifestyles blending, and that makes suggestions sound less like demands that I "shape up" and act like other people. I can then assimilate the story, take what works for me and ignore the rest—guilt free.
So, please take my suggestions in that manner. I've discussed some ideas with other caregivers, including those who care for elders and one man who cares for a child with disabilities. Our time management techniques aren't that different. When we care for vulnerable people, we are all much alike.
Expect the Unexpected
For me, the need to be prepared for anything is mandatory. During my heaviest caregiving years, I cared for two children, one with multiple health problems, plus multiple elders. During their last years, several of my elders lived in a nearby nursing home, while I worked full time, so that care was a blessing. I could visit daily, but still know they were cared for while I worked at my "real world" job.
However, a call to my work phone could mean that I needed to leave work to meet one of my elders at the emergency room, or that my son was very ill. It could mean something as simple as one more errand to run for one of my elders, or that it was time to plan hospice care for an elder. I must say a ringing phone can still, at times, be a scary thing for me, triggering a reaction much like the old days when people thought a telegram meant only one thing: someone had died. Knowing I was somewhat prepared for an emergency did have a calming effect to some degree. It still does. Here's a little sample of my "plan." Improvise to figure out what works for you.
- My employer allowed me to take vacation by the hour, so I hoarded vacation hours for emergencies and for medical appointments for my care receivers.
- I shopped as though I was preparing for a disaster, buying multiples of everything any of my care receivers could possibly want, because they always seemed to want what they wanted immediately, and something inside of me made me think I had to deliver. When my mother died, I threw out three—yes three—bottles of the makeup she liked. Shall we say I was a bit excessive about this?
- I kept food around that my son could make for himself, should I be called away to tend to one of the elders, which happened frequently. Again, I often threw out my over-stocked food items, but having all needs met for each individual made me feel better prepared, which meant I felt less frantic.
- I filled prescriptions as soon as the insurance companies allowed, knowing that a day could come when one person needed a prescription filled and I was too tied up with the needs of another to run to the store and get that errand done.