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11 Ways to Stop Caregiver-Related Depression

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Caregivers' risk for experiencing depression is 30 times greater than that of non-caregivers, particularly among those caring for Alzheimer's and dementia patients, according to the National Institutes on Health.

In an effort to provide the best possible care for a family member or friend, caregivers often sacrifice their own physical and emotional needs and the emotional and physical experiences involved with providing care can strain even the most capable person. The resulting feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, isolation, exhaustion—and then guilt for having these feelings—can exact a heavy toll. But don't accept that depression is par for course as part of caregiving. It doesn't have to be that way!

Here are some ways to help combat depression.

1. Talk Back to the Negative Thoughts

Therapeutic discipline called Cognitive Behavior Therapy, states that our thoughts cause feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations and events. We can change the way we think to feel and act better even if the situation does not change. Positive thinking can replace the negative thinking that is part of depression. "Talking back to negative thoughts" such as "I'm worthless" with positive thoughts that challenge the notion "I'm not worthless, I care for a family and I am a good person" restructures negative thought patterns, so you can interpret your environment in a less biased way.

2. Participate in Life

Take a break from caregiving! No one can do it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Find some respite – from family, friends, adult day care, in-home companions, whatever it takes – and participate in activities that may make you feel better, such as going to a movie or ballgame, gardening, exercise, attending church, or going to a social event.

3. Talk to Friends

Don't go it alone. Friends are there to help you through the bad times. Don't bottle up your feelings and keep them to yourself. Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive. Crying on a supportive friend's shoulder can have an immediate and positive impact on your mood.

4. Look into Self Help

Books can be buddies too! There are numerous books on the topic of depression and they are filled with techniques to deal with the sadness, anxiety and feelings of isolation that caregivers often experience. Visit your bookstore, or search amazon.com for depression. "Feeling Good" and "Beyond Blue" are two that come highly recommended.

5. Keep a Record

Start a diary and write down your feelings. Writing what you're feeling can provide a release for those emotions. Also, look for patterns. Do certain events, people or situations worsen your depression? One definition of suffering is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. Next time that situation arises, you will notice if you are acting in the same way that didn't work in the past and can change that behavior.

6. Stay Busy

An inability to get through daily tasks can be a crippling symptom of depression. Feeling unable to make a decision or take a needed action can immobilize a caregiver. To overcome immobility, set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility. Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.

7. Start a Project

The fastest way to get out of your head is to put it in a new project--compiling a family album, knitting a blanket, heading a civic association, taking an online course. Focusing your mind and your energy on a task makes it harder to focus on negative emotions.

8. Look for Strength in Numbers

support groups for people who suffer from depression meet in virtually every local community. Also look for groups geared towards caregivers. Knowing you are not alone in your struggles eliminates those feelings of isolation.

9. Get Professional Help

There are many treatments available for depression. Talk to your doctor about the symptoms you are experiencing and find a treatment plan that is right for you. This might include medications, counseling or both.

10. Try Supplements

Studies show that several natural supplements on the market today have been very effective in treating depression.

  • St. John's wort - St. John's wort is the most thoroughly researched of the natural antidepressants. Studies show that St John's wort consistently alleviates depression, anxiety, apathy, and sleep disturbances.
  • 5-HTP - 5-Hydroxytryptophan - The manufacture of serotonin in the brain depends on how much of the amino acid, tryptophan, is delivered to the brain. 5-HTP can help raise serotonin levels. 5-HTP also increases in endorphin and other mood-raising neurotransmitters. 
  • SAM-e - SAM-e boosts production and action of mood-enhancing neurotransmitters and promotes the methylation of phospholipids. Numerous clinical trials have confirmed the beneficial effects of SAMe on depression.
  • Ginkgo biloba - People over age 50 who are depressed may actually be suffering from cerebrovascular insufficiency, a lack of blood flow to the brain. Ginkgo biloba significantly improves blood flow to the brain.

11. Be patient

Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time. People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.

 
 

Comments

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 53 
 
 

anonymous31066

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Feb 19, 2011

THANKS! A family caregiver can get easily detached from the rest of society. No pay check. Often, only one of the siblings gets "the caregiver job." Sometimes it is an only child. Sometimes it is an only child whose mother was the breadwinner. This can go on for years. The parent can live to be 100++. WE NEED HELP!

 
 

sskape2

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

yes, I've been climbing out of my "caregiver blues" by walking and eating and drinking a "normal" portion of whatever I'm eating or drinking. Then I'll feel better and feel more like socializing with others. Finding respite time has been a real problem for me due to finances , though. it's easy for someone to suggest , oh go out and do this or that, but not realistic . But A good article to read, thanks.

 
 

jenie59

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

St. John's Wort can be great but be warned if you are taking it and scheduled for any surgery you need to tell your doctor. St. John's Wort can interfere with the effects of anesthesia so you need to stop taking it a couple of weeks before surgery.

 
 

Jasonsmom

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

For several years I felt trapped like a hampster in a cage. My departed husband had alzheimers and I was the bread winner, care taker, house keeper. Life was a vicious cycle, I piled on the weight, was angry all the time, the only relief I had was at work and there too I was caring for the sick, I'm a nurse. You would think I could have known the symptoms of depression but I did not. I would be angry when he repeated things a million times, would be angry at his lack of affection to me, angry at the man who did nothing but watch tv and always the same rerun movies . I was very alone with his illness. All my friends and family kept saying, there is nothing wrong with him, he is probably got things on his mind, he is distracted, even when I told them of the doctor reports, and I was angry at them for not seeing for not understanding, for not believing. I was so totally alone. Added to this, we had lost our son, moved a thousand miles from my lifelong home, started a new job. I want to say, I had no idea the pressure this placed on me or the stress and I did not realize how depressed I was until recently and my husband has been gone a year. There was little relief even afterwards, I felt guilty for feeling less pressured, then I lost my job and my dog and that is when I finally let it out and I cried for days. Fnally I started to pull it together, my frieds kept saying, you have needed to cry, you have held it all in for so long, you have tried to show your strength, you are only human, let it out, well I was again angry, where were they when I needed their shoulders and they disbelieved what I tried to share about my husband. Please, if you are in a situation like this, get some outside help, don't depend on family or friends to see you through, they often don't see what we see, or know the things we know, and don't feel guilty for feeling angry. I could never cry or mourn for my son because of my husband, that just made it worse for him. Cry, don't hold in those tears, find something to make you laugh, and please please, find someone to talk to.

 
 

125hope

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

Join a support group if you can. I have found it very helpful to see that I am not alone and indeed quite fortunate compared to others who are coping with much worse. Also you can pick up ideas and suggestions for how to deal with your situation. The book The Hedge People was suggested to me and i found that book to be a big help in learning to laugh and in better caring for my husband. We are not alone on this road. We can do it!

 
 

Kedwards460

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

Respite care is the key but not as easy for everyone. I'm not working, I live in my mom's (PD) so she has to pay for the care. If the tables were turned and this was my house and my $$, a whole different ballgame. I would be getting out A LOT more.
What gets me is my mom's friend who is SOO full of advice even though they are rarely around and call once in a while so they do not have a frigging clue. This friend told my mom she has to fight this and not accept PD. (My mom is in about Stage 4). She tells mom all the things she should just get up and do even though she's only seen my mom a few times this past year for a 1/2 visit to drop off presents. She hasn't seen how my mom gets around -- or should I say doesn't get around. Mom gets all excited and happy and thinks her friend is really looking out for her. I'd really like this "friend" to come over for say 72 hrs straight -- give me the respite care and I wonder if she'd still be talking her crap once she saw what the true deal was. Sorry had to vet!

 
 

Jasonsmom

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

Vent all you want, that is why we are here. I found out the hard way that holding in the anger was worse then anything else. Since my husbands passing, I have gone on a whole lifestyle change, lost close to 100 pounds (more to go) started an excercise regime, started seeing a wonderfun man who makes me laugh and feel like a kid again, working on a book about my journey through his illness. I am going more and doing more, joined a theatre group, the VFW, the Moose, go to Karoke, all the things I wanted to do but could not before. And guess what, I don't feel a bit guilty. I just turned 62, I have raised a family, lived through the death of my son, the death of my husband, a 35 year marriage, I have been married twice and felt like I was always someone to everyone else and never me, which was a big question I asked, now what? where do I turn, what do I do, I have been a mom, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a wife, a nurse, now, who is Jason's mom? I guess for the first time in my life I am finally finding out, and my journey has just begun. My advice is to do things and go places, I understand the being tied down, my husband never wanted to go anywhere or do anything, the cigarettes and tv were his best friends. If I wanted to go somewhere he would tell me to just go and then he would be so furious for days and wouldn't talk. I just stayed at home, the guilt kept me there. What I should have done in hinesight was get someone to come keep him company and just go. Vent? you go girl, vent, vent, vent!

 
 

PCVS

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

Not only am I the caregiver for my mom (who has Alzheimer's) but I also suffer from chronic severe depression (and have done all my life - but a Naturopath and a couple hundred mg of 5-HTP saved me). It's hard. But it could be worse. I could have been born a child in, say, Chad. Or Darfour.

*sigh*

 
 

JenJilks

Give a Hug

Feb 19, 2011

This is a wonderful article. Well done.
It's a bit late for me, as I'm still on antidepressants 4 years later. Not to fearmonger, but I was prone to it in the beginning! Situational depression is horrible. But you do lie through it. Oops, Freudian slip! I lived through it. I made all the classic mistakes: left behind friends, great job, support system, adult children. I found that I was mildy depressed after my divorce, during work-related issues, and each time something happened I'd sink a little deeper. I tried to go off of my anti-depressants this past month and I was so, well, depressed! I felt teary about really dumb things.
Sometimes you just have to listen to your body. My bereavement issues have had a profound influence on my psyche. I have learned to love myself, and simply live. I have heartfelt sympathy towards anyone still dealing with these issues.

 
 

content

Give a Hug

Feb 22, 2011

I'm sinking. I've gained 40 lbs in 6 yrs. I've been caring for 83 yr old Dad and his catheter and sugar and dementia for 4 yrs. and my hubby is in college, works an 8 hr. a day job for money and volunteers to help anyone in the neighborhood with household help any time. He's wonderful and a great asset to every one. I'm sinking and resenting Dad. I wish he could go into a nurse. home. He can get into a state veteran's facility, we just have not started the wheels in motion to get him in. I yell more, sleep more, eat more and look awful. I resent everything. I almost wish I could run away from life as I know it for maybe a month. I wish someone could care for me and be "girlfriendy" with me as I'm just daily in this prison and am on Dad's daily schedule. I'd do the self mutilization cutting again but I was hospitalized before for that and that was no fun, not much help, and I didn't seem to get the sympathy I wanted from Dad or hubby....pills? Death? I'm so sick of caring for Dad I want to die

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 53 

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