Dealing with Moving a Parent Into a New House

It's great to hear about such organizations. They are NEEDED! When the time came for my parents to move to a facility, they dug their heels in and refused. Opinions of outsiders eventually helped convince them that it was the right thing to do. Somehow the power of being a blood relative works to your disadvantage in this situation!

For a complete listing of senior move managers throughout the US and Canada, please go to the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) website at www.nasmm.org.

I have exciting news to share that I could not have imagined even a short while ago: my Mom is following her husband to live in my city. They've been married 52 years (this June). He left a year ago June for placement in a Nursing Facility, then was moved in November 200 miles away from her to another one (more specialized) to live by me (their daughter, The Feisty Firstborn - lol). Mom's health has been declining, and she's been living alone for the past 11 months, with frequent 400 mile round trip visits by me, whenever needed. But this has not been ideal. Her house is huge, and she's told me and my sister (who lives even further) that's it's "too much for her to keep up," etc. So, she's agreed to move. That will be next week. Can hardly believe it myself...

I'm excited because there's a world of possibilities involved. She'll be living within walking distance of me, the floral shop and ice cream store. And she'll be 3 miles distance from her husband. No more will I have to worry about her living alone, because she's in a senior facility, surrounded by a close Christian community of people in similar situations. I'm amazed what prayer can do, and being feisty helps! My husband and I will be moving her and her things next week. I wish I could print the moving checklist above, but it didn't work. Any suggestions?

Anne, that is so wonderful to hear! You won't have the stress of the constant worrying.
Can you copy and paste? I'm not very computer savy, so don't know.

I can copy and paste, but I use a glue stick and my HP printer. LOL Actually, yeah, but can't figure this one out.

I can hardly believe my Mom is willing to downsize her huge home to move to a tiny apartment. Hers is full of inherited antiques, and 2 estates full of treasures. I'm nervous about her transition. She's already asking what will happen to "all her things..." I told her to pick our a few of her favorites. Can you imagine???

But I love a challenge, and with a degree in Interior Design, hope to create a comfortable haven for her. In my mind it's fun, but can't imagine what's she's experiencing. I get the privilege of dismantling her home of almost 40 years, and my childhood home. I imagine it will be emotional and draining. I love organizing and decorating, though, so to me, it's a joy. And I love yard and estate sales!!! So I'm thinking this is my time to shine! But, then there's Mom. These are her things. We've already discussed buying her new furnishings, etc. Hers are nasty after years of decline and smoking - hence the COPD and Cancer diagnosis. They never replaced broken or soiled things, so I get the honor (and "secret" pleasure). O the joy of long standing dreams...! It almost makes me laugh. But I'll try to act sad for Mom.

Wow! Where'd my posts go? I wrote 20 paragraphs that keep disappearing...

I was trying to add that I am excited about this move. In fact I've been dreaming about it all my life. I love a challenge and change. I have a degree in Interior Design, and love to organize and decorate. I also love yard and estate sales. Mom have a lifetime of broken, worn-out, used up items I'll enjoy helping her dispose of. (Will pretend I'm real sad, though...) I'm almost giddy with excitement over the prospect. I'll be in my element, and get to use my God-given talents to their best; it's my time to shine in my niche! She has a house full of gorgeous antiques, that have been ecclectically-challenged to date, to say it in the least discriminating way, but with her declining physical strength, and inability to make decisions, I am almost beside myself with the thought of possibilities in creating for her a cozy, nurturing little haven of a space. Charge: Feisty Firstborn to the resuce!!! But if ya'll could, please help me pray I treat Mom with respect, grace and sensitivity. This is, after all, her life, and these are her things. I pray she's receptive and ready to enjoy her new home. What joy!!!

You're funny Anne! I know what you mean, there have been times where I have copied or pasted, and then could not find where I put it. LOL Do you get e-mail notifications when people post?

Just ordered a telephone, hospital bed, and oxygen for Mom. They offered a Visiting Nurse (which is covered by her insurance, and Physical Therapy). Praise the Lord!!! There is a God!

Mom is already stressing to the limits of my patience. She called tonight and wanted to know the specifics about what, when, where and how... I told her I thought we'd just bring a few things at first, then I could go back down with a big moving van and get some more, once she's seen the place and knew what she wanted. NO NO NO! She asked why I thought I'd be moving things without her there. (That's EXACTLY what I had in mind, knowing her way too well.) You can't even throw out a broken tea cup with her around, or a 50 year old, holy, threadbare, disgusting sofa. Yuk!!!! Then she asked about her "dressing table." O I forgot about that! Her precious makeup. Got to have a whole desk devoted to that!!! She wanted to know the colors, the size, the etc. Neutral. Just like an apartment. (Should have told her purple walls and green floors.) And all her kitchen stuff. I said keep it simple and basic. "And what about all my laundry soap?" Yeah, bring a little. She said, "So you don't want me to do laundry ever again???" Yes, Mom, you can do laundry. And we'll bring your TV. "O you're going to let me have a TV, are you???!!" Snarling sarcasm. I told her I didn't want to argue and hung up. Defeated. Deflated. I'm thinking of asking her Physician for a sedative for the move.

Still have to make arrangements for a new home for her dog. Her beloved Golden, who she forgets to feed (doesn't even feed her own self), and who she never walks, and can't control. The dog she loves to maul and sleep with, who can't come with her to her new apartment. That will be a tough one. Then there's the bird... I hate what that bird represents (whatever it is...) I learned long ago to despise her birds, rabbits, guinea pigs, raccoon babies, etc. They all seemed so much more important to her than any of us. And her TV. Shut up when the TV is on, and it's always on. So she's getting an apartment by herself. Just 200 miles closer to me, so I can monitor her more closely. So I can direct her when she needs help, and take her to her doctor appointments every day, if necessary. Wow. Wish it were going to be lovely. But realistically, I am really hoping just to survive the transition with some compassion intact.