Get the Caregivers' Survival Guide FREE
when you sign-up for the newsletter.
 

Senior Housing: The Emotional Side of Moving Your Elderly Parent

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. Our home is our castle - a shelter from the storm. These old sayings and many more indicate how most of us emotionally view our home.

For most of us, the feeling is less about how large or how fancy a home is than about it being a place where we belong. Many of us, after getting out of the house we were so anxious to leave as young adults, still find ourselves lovingly attached to the humble dwelling of our childhood.

Now, place yourself in the shoes of your aging mother who has lived in that home since you were a child. It's a modest place, and your parents could have afforded better, but they stayed because they liked the neighborhood. Now, Dad's gone and Mom can't handle the house. She needs something that is easier for her to move around in. She could use more company. One day she'll likely need nursing care for her diabetes.

You know that a "wise" decision would be for her to move to assisted living. There's a nice one not too far away, and they are associated with a good nursing home. However, how do you approach Mom? You are attached to the house, too, so you know on one level how hard this will be for her. But you also care about her health and safety. You go back and forth in your head. You talk it over with your husband and check with friends who have gone through the same thing.

You decide that it's best to bring up the subject to Mom on a day when living in the house is not going so well. Perhaps a day when there are plumbing problems or when she has to pay a hefty bill for lawn care. That's smart. It gives you an opening where you can say, "Mom, I know it's hard to think of moving, but we both know that this isn't a safe place for you. Even with modifications, you won't be able to stay here long. How about us taking some afternoons to explore housing options?"

Mom balks at first, of course, but you are pretty sure that her biggest dread is how to get from point A (this house) to point B (the new place). Moving is daunting to many of us because we have to, well, move. We have to move everything we've hung onto for years. We have to figure out what to do with that huge china closet from Uncle George that fits perfectly under the stairwell. We have to figure out what to do with Dad's miniature train collection. We have to figure out what to do with the symbols that represent a life lived. What to keep? What to get rid of? And how do we carry out the process?

Print Email
 
8 people are discussing this article with 8 comments
Share
 
Over the span of two decades, author, columnist, consultant and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Her experiences inspired her to pen, "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories," a portable support group book for caregivers.
 






Free Helpful Guides

Home Care Guide
How to find, hire and manage home care.
Get the home care guide ›
Alzheimer’s Care Guide
Learn from elder care experts, caregivers and patients.
Get your care guide ›
Caregivers' Survival Guide:
Everything you need to care
for an elderly family member.
Get the caregivers' guide ›

Seattle, WA

Care Providers
Riverton Crest Cemetery
Contact us about cemetery arrangements
Comfort Keepers of Federal Way
Speak with us about your care needs
Forest Lawn Funeral Home
Contact us about preplanning a funeral
 
 
FIND HOUSING AND CARE




 
DOWNLOAD FREE RESOURCES
Everything you need to care for
an elderly family member.
Download your eBook ›
How to find, hire and
manage home care.
Get the home care guide ›
GET ANSWERS
140 characters left

©2014 AgingCare, LLC All rights reserved.  About Us  |  Advertise with Us  |  Sitemap

 

The material of this web site is provided for informational purposes only. AgingCare.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment;
or legal, financial or any other professional services advice. Use of this site is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.