When the time comes that a loved one needs help at home, the process of convincing him or her to accept help can be difficult. Most of us value our independence, and having someone come into one's home to assist with such intimate activities as bathing and dressing can be a problem.
But, as our population lives longer, and our aging parents have more impairments with aging, the need for workers who can enable elders to stay in their homes increases. Most elders, if asked, would say that they prefer to stay at home, rather than move to a facility as they age. How do we keep them safe at home, when we must rely on others to provide help with activities of daily living?
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Be aware of the risk of abuse
Choosing a worker is taking a risk. Since elder abuse has been called "the crime of the century", it is important to be aware that with elders at home, it can be a crime of opportunity for the worker. Financial abuse affects millions of seniors, as most of us know. Preventing it must include a consciousness of protecting elders at home from those who enter the home freely and who work unsupervised for long hours.
The resistance of the aging person himself or herself is just part of the picture. Some won't let home health care workers inside their home. Getting past the resistance is usually the job of the adult child, who may be the first to see the need. According to Erin Winter, co-owner of Hired Hands Homecare Inc., in Novato, California, "about 75% of the elders we serve don't think they need help when it is obvious to those around them that they do".
One must gently push ahead, presenting the idea that the help is needed for the peace of mind of the adult child. It's the "humor me" approach. It seems to work, for most, Ms. Winter reports. If the adult child is able to persuade the elder to try it, and the worker is consistent, kindly and respectful of the elder, the elder actually may be relieved to have the help.