Here are some hints for determining your mom or dad's ability to drive:
Ride along: Take a ride or three with your parent and observe his or her physical ability in controlling the vehicle, staying within the lane, how turns are handled, the driving speed, ability to scan from left to right, any visual susceptibility to glare, and for any possible confusion in traffic. Do your observations simply, without nagging or distraction. Make notes upon return, for you may need to share them with an expert.
Check the vehicle: Periodically and without fanfare, check the outside of the car for any possible dents or scrapes.
Accompany your parent at least once to every medical specialist and service or treatment center and, and have him or her sign a release of confidentiality form naming you as a relative with whom they can share any and all medical and mental information without their violating federal confidentiality laws. If your relative is on Medicare, you can check the Explanation of Benefits (EOB) statements he or she receives after each medical visit or payment. This will ensure that you are aware of every one and service involved medically. These steps will guarantee that you can ask questions and express concerns privately as well as invoke professional assistance.
Research other available transportation for if and when mom or dad must quit driving. A call to the local Area Agency on Aging can learn about Dial-A-Ride, public transit, specialized transit (door-to-door service typically by minibuses) and even volunteers who provide chauffeur service. And talk to your siblings, children and other relatives to be volunteer drivers when in need.
If you determine that mom or dad is still capable of driving, suggest they enroll in a Mature Driving course. Such enrollment may even qualify your parent for a discount on auto insurance.
Here is why you should not jump to a decision or conclusion that mom or dad should no longer drive.
Taking the car keys removes the parent's independence, the ability to drive to the market or to meet friends for coffee, to church and the senior center, the library or to visit friends. The experience can be traumatic.
As the caregiver, you may also have to deal with other relatives who may be too quickly judgmental and even emphatic that the keys must be taken.
Involve mom or dad in the consideration and decision. You may find a positive reaction when talking candidly with them, and they will understand your care and concern for their safety.
If you feel that it is time for them to hand over the keys, recognize that you may run into resistance. This is understandable. However, if that is the case, there are several ways to legally revoke your loved one's license. You just have to find a tactful, loving way to approach this topic.