New to Caregiving: How to Prepare the Family

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Here are the major concerns that families face when parents start to age and how to prepare your family properly.

Determining Where Your Parent Should Live

Every family's situation is different. Is your parent temporarily immobilized due to a fall or hospitalization, or is the condition one that will worsen over time, such as Alzheimer's? Does your parent need help bathing and dressing? Do they need constant supervision, or someone to check in on them occasionally? The answers to all of these questions – and many more – will need to be taken into consideration when deciding where your parent will live.

Caregivers must look for the warning signs to determine if a parent is safe living at home alone. Whether senior will remain at home or not, there are concerns for the family.

Covering Your Legal Bases

If your parent were suddenly incapacitated, do you have the legal authority to act on their behalf? To avoid the legal red tape, make sure you have the right legal documents in place, including: power of attorney, advance care directives, a will and if needed, guardianship.

Managing Finances

Would you know what to do if you suddenly had to take over managing money and paying bills for your parents? Know where your parents keep their important paperwork and how to access their funds if need be.

Paying for Care

Do you parents have long-term care insurance, or money set aside for their care? Are they eligible for Medicare, Medicaid or Veteran's Assistance? If not, there are some government resources that can help cover the cost of care.

Managing Medical Care

To help doctors provide your parent with the best care, provide them with a full medical history, a record all of prescription medications, and attend the visits with your parents when possible. Don't be intimidated or afraid to ask questions and bring up concerns with the doctor. Also, have your parent sign a medical release form, so the doctor has permission to speak with you directly about your parent's health.

Talking About the Future

When a parent is ill, plans for the future must be made. Holding a family meeting helps make sure everyone is informed and on the same page. There is another crucial, but difficult conversation that must take place, and that's with your parent. Start an open, honest conversation, but be prepared for resistance. Discuss your parent's current needs, limitations and concerns, and let them state their wishes for the future.

Coping with the Reality of Caregiving

The emotional and physical health of the lead caregiver should be a top concern for the rest of the family. There should be offers to provide relief time for the caregiver. This can include coverage so that the lead caregiver can get out to dinner, movie or a walk in the fresh air. Without such relief, the physical and mental toll can be heavy on the lead caregiver.

Finding Help Locally

There are many professional and volunteer services available in every region of the , with information and coordination provided by the Area Agency on Aging, a federally-mandated organization staffed by professionals who know every elder program and service in your area.

Dealing with Death

Death is inevitable, but knowing this alone does not make it any easier to endure the loss of a loved one. Everyone deals with death differently. Talk to family members to ensure each person has the support and coping mechanisms they need.

 
This article is filed under: family caregiver support, family caregiving
 

Comments

 
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Barbara

Give a Hug

Apr 4, 2008

Thank you for another interesting, informative article by Len Hansen. I've enjoyed and learned much from each of his articles. He offers advice that is down to earth and helpful. I hope you continue to include articles by Mr. Hansen in your newsletters.

Thank you,
Barbara

 
 

stavieb

Give a Hug

Apr 23, 2010

Remember that you aren't alone! I think that helps when you are in the middle of caregiving for a loved one.

I also wanted to mention that one of the professional services that is great if you are in the New York City area is Visiting Nurse Service of New York (http://www.vnsny.org).

Thanks for the article!

Stav

 
 

Tinashe

Give a Hug

Dec 18, 2010

thanks for the advice it is very touching and i will use it one day to care for family members.

 
 

magnoliatwin

Give a Hug

Dec 30, 2010

If I have offended any of you with my comments, i apologize. I have been a step further than you . my mother is gone now and if I had even voiced the times I was tired and weary, I would have not foriven myself. I just hope that something I said would help u to realize that there will be a time when u will look back when you're not so tired and think of all the things u have felt and shared with others that may have been disrespectful.After a;;. she didn't choose that path for her life. If it is hard for you,just imagine how much harder and frightening it is for her.We laughed with our mother and hugged when she did those things. I can understand and know all about the times you are worn out and would have liked to have been doing something else. Now, I am glad that I was able to do all those things for her. She did them for me when I was a baby and didn't know what I was doing.

 
 

momsfriend

Give a Hug

Sep 6, 2011

Dear Magnoliatwin. Bless you for loving and caring for your mom when she needed you most. I am just about at the point of taking my mother inlaw(my best friend) into our home. She is 82 now. I've told the other family members many times: "She cared for you for the first 18 or so years of your life, now it is our turn to care for her, God willing, the next 18 years of her life." Unfortunalely, not all feel the same. Some think it would be best if she were "put" into a nursing home or seniors apartment. Geez! If they can't find the time to visit her while she is in her own home, where do they think they will find the time to travel all the way to the nursing home and then find time to visit with her. Bless all you who had no other choice other than moving your loved one into a nursing home, and bless you twice everytime you go visit them.

 
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