Questions and Answers about Assisted Living

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When it is time for a family member to move to assisted living, caregivers and family members have lots of question. Here are the most common questions that caregivers have about finding assisted living.

What Exactly is an Assisted Living Community?

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An assisted living facility is a community for seniors who cannot live independently. They provide mobility assistance and daily living care for bathing, dressing, toileting, grooming, and eating.

What's the Difference Between Assisted Living and a Nursing Home?

Assisted living does not provide medical care, such as treatment for specific conditions or diseases like Parkinson's disease or hospice care. The assisted living facility will assess the elder to decide what kind of care his or her needs require. Nursing homes, on the other hand, are designed to house and assist individuals who have health conditions that require constant monitoring and the availability of medical personnel.

When is it Time to Consider Assisted Living for your Parents?

An elder should make the move to assisted living if hiring in-home care is not an option. If your parent cannot perform daily living tasks like bathing and dressing, cooking and eating, then their safety is in danger. If your parent has severe mobility issues and cannot get around the house safely and on their own, they need assistance. Lastly, if your parent is constantly confused, forgetful and sometimes wanders, their safety is at risk. If any of these factors apply to your parent, they need the assistance that an assisted living facility provides.

Are Pets Allowed?

Many allow pets. Check with the assisted living facility.

How Much Does Assisted Living Cost and Who Pays the Bill?

Although the cost for assisted living varies by the facility, the national average is $2,969 per month for a one bedroom apartment with a private bath. The rate is significantly higher for seniors who require Alzheimer's or dementia care, with costs of $4,270 per month.

Residents of assisted living facilities use "private pay" to cover the costs. The way in which they pay is up to the individual. Some people use personal savings, pensions and/or social security to cover the costs. Some people also use long term care insurance. Medicaid and other federal programs do not pay for the costs of assisted living. Some states offer waivers for assisted living for special circumstances. Check with your Area Agency on Aging to find out if your state offers a waiver.

An exception to private pay for assisted living is low-income or government subsidized communities. If your parent meets certain income and asset requirements, the government will subsidize the cost of the rent.

What Happens if I Run Out of Money When Mom is Living There?

You have a few options to consider if this situation occurs. First, discuss your situation with the facility. Many times, the facility will be willing to negotiate some kind of agreement. These situations are handled on a case-by-case basis, but they may be able to reduce rent or set up a payment plan to cover past-due payments. Second, check with your state's agency on aging to find out if there is an available program that may help you. Finally, check to see if your parent has any funds that you may not have tapped into or if they qualify for low-income or government subsidized housing.

Unfortunately, residents in assisted living facilities do not have the same protection as those in nursing homes. Although the assisted living facility is required to give a 30 day notice of discharge, the resident is not protected from involuntary discharge. Exhaust all options to prevent this from happening.

How Can Caregivers Deal with the Guilt of Moving a Parent to Assisted Living?

Guilt is a feeling that many caregivers experience when they move an elderly parent into an assisted living facility. Don't let guilt get the best of you! Always keep in mind that the move was the best option for your parent. You can still be a caregiver even when your parent moves. For example, you can make sure their apartment has personal touches. You can be a liaison between the assisted living staff and your parent. You still make sure that your parent's needs are being met. Remember that you are doing your best to make sure that your parent is receiving the best care possible.

What Can Mom or Dad Bring with Them?

Your parent can bring any of their personal items that can fit in the apartment. Your parents can bring furniture, too.

Can a Senior be Denied?

It is possible. Once the facility assesses your parent's health, they will decide if he or she is a good candidate. If your parent needs more care than assisted living provides, they will most likely refer him or her to skilled nursing, also known as a nursing home. Also, you or your parent needs to be able to pay for the cost of assisted living. If you or your parent cannot afford the costs, then the elder can be denied.

Many assisted living communities have waiting lists (usually the reputable ones), so, although your parent may not have been denied, it may be awhile before they can actually move into the community.

 
 

Comments

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 21 
 
 

LynnPO

Give a Hug

Apr 15, 2010

Many assisted living facilities DO take medicaide - you just have to ask. Often they have requirements that the elder share a room.

 
 

LynnPO

Give a Hug

Apr 15, 2010

Regarding the difference between assisted living and nursing homes: Some assisted facilities will request that an elder be moved once they require more than one aide at a time. For example: toileting, if it takes more than one aid to help the elder on or off the toilet, then the elder is considered too infirm and must move.

 
 

mbargielski

Give a Hug

Apr 21, 2010

My dad's assisted living home takes people that require more than one assist. It depends on the individual needs of the patient. We like it because he can stay there pretty much as long as he needs to.

 
 

BGB

Give a Hug

Jun 8, 2010

My Mom is on section 8 grov. housing but now we think she need a assisted living facilities. she has med/medi medical/medcare. if so how do i go about getting her into a facility and how is it paid. California

 
 

jjn80

Give a Hug

Jul 4, 2010

My Mom's assisted living home will also allow her to stay there even though she requires more than one assistant. They said they will keep her unless she requires skilled nursing care (IV, feeding tube, etc.). They are actually much better with her than a rehab facility she was in for a brief time after hospitalization.

 
 

LynnPO

Give a Hug

Jul 4, 2010

BGB - medicaide in each state is usually administered by the State Dept of Health and Welfare or a similar agency. It's likely the same one that approved and pays her Section 8 Housing but you have to talk with a different group within that agency. If you can look at the official site of the state of CA you should see links to the Dept of Health & Welfare. Be careful if you search for "California and medicaide"; you'll get all kinds of links to shyster lawyers who promise to get you qualified - you don't need their help, you can do this for your mom! There are a lot of good questions and thorough answers about medicare and medicaide on the Money and Legal section of this site. You really do need to understand the difference, one's a state program and the other is federal insurance for the elderly. Good luck.

 
 

debmcd1256

Give a Hug

Jul 4, 2010

Does anyone know of an asssisted living program in the St. Louis, Missouri area that will take a resident who needs assistance with transters? This thread sounds great but my experience in this area is that they want residents who are ambulatory. Thanks,

 
 

LynnPO

Give a Hug

Jul 5, 2010

DEB - The best way to find such an assisted living center is to call around. Most of the time, they'll send someone to evaluate your elder to see if they can accommodate their needs. Most of the people in my mom's assisted living facility were in wheelchaird and 40% needed help transfering to/from bed and toilet.

 
 

nanlinjoe

Give a Hug

Sep 10, 2010

I have a lot of guilt and anxiety for moving mom into a very nice assisted living facility, which she initially agreed to. Her house is for sale. I now am second guessing myself-----should I have let her live at home with12 or more hours of in-home aides---which charge $16-18/hr on weekdaya and $21/hr on weekends. Her money would run out much more quickly and then when she needed a nursing home, Medicaid would pay but I worry about the quality of care since I read so much about elder abuse,
bed sores, restraints in chairs most of the day, etc. The assisted living place that she is in now has promised to transfer her to their nursing home or altzeimer's home when she runs out of money and will help her apply for Medcaid. Mom has some depression and anxiety and is treated by the psychiatrist. She also has issues of back pain and foot pain. While the care is probably above average, it is understaffed with
1 RN and 1 Caregiver per shift. Mom's house has 16 residents and there are 2 other houses with the same quota. Mom gets very anxious if the medication aide is late in giving out meds. It kills me when my sister asked her if mom was happy there and m om's reply was, "I don't have any other choice." I have the space for mom to ,live with me but I work part-time and mom is very needy. When I get home exhausted from work and just want to chill before cooking dinner, it woluldn't happen and I would eventually lose my temper with her and feel even worse. I do visit her 3-4 times/week and take her out sometimes and to family events, as does my sister. She has more visitors than most of the other residents but she still is unhappy and it breaks my heart!!
Does anyone have a similar situation and words of advice? THANKS!!

 
 

LynnPO

Give a Hug

Sep 10, 2010

Nan - After a year and a half I still go through the same feelings that you described above. Trust your intuition and know that your mom is in the best place possible. If having her in your home would turn you into a shrew then it's best for BOTH of you that she live somewhere else. When you do see her you're able to be the loving and attentive daughter she needs. Believe it or not, visits 3-4 times a LOT. Since my Mom moved my brothers and their spouses have been to see her 3 times - 3 TIMES in a year and a half!! It's awful but there is nothing I can do; they just don't care. The relatively low number of residents per house is really in your mom's benefit; she'll get the attention and focus she needs from the staff and the management's willingness to help with medicaid when the time comes is really important. It can be a lot to wade through and they should be pros. I stressed over it for weeks and wish I'd had someone else to handle it. It's also a HUGE benefit that she can stay in the same place with familiar routine and staff. Such change at an advanced age can really throw off our elders.

You moved your mom because you know it's the right time. I knew it too whether I admitted it or not at the time. A few months after the move Mom's arthritis began to get really bad and because she was in assisted living they helped her adjust to the limitations and to use a wheelchair. If she were at home, she'd be calling me and expect me to stay and help "until she got better".... I'd still be there and I'd be a miserable wack job. If your mom is facing a decline then having professionally trained people to help meet her needs is critical. They can be more objective and she'll be more likely to accept their treatment and help than she would family. Trust that you did the right thing. Trust that you're a good daughter and that she knows you love her.

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 21 

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