Incontinence and Bladder Control

My 81 yr. old mother is doing well with 2-3 hr. potty trots. The problem is with night time incontinence. She doesn't get up in the night and the "depend" is soaked by morning.

Please remember that it is more important for your mom to get a good night sleep (and you as well) than to worry about a soaked depends in the morning. However, if this situation is in danger of ruining the mattress, purchase a waterproof mattress cover and for added protection use a washable crib pad as well. This is such a little thing in the scheme of life...enjoy the time you have with your mom (similar to the way she enjoyed your pre-potty years with you).

If your mom's got incontinence, please make sure she's seen a gynecologist or, in difficult cases, a urogynecologist. My mom developed problems; she had 2 gynecologists differing over what pessary to use; turns out both had mis-fit her for the pessary; the urogynecologist did it RIGHT and the situation's back to almost-normal. AND REMEMBER MEDICARE PAYS FOR THIS!

How come doctors don't reccomend pessarys? My mother has been to a urologist and her primary doctor knows about the problem but neither has made any mention of this device. I only recently heard about it!

Try having her wear a pull up depends and a poise pad inside. It absorbs much more with little wetness.

My mother has used Depends for years and many times still leaks and for nighttme wear it's a mess. I recently tried Tranquility brand and am hoping for much better results. They are a bit spendy but supposed to absorb up to 34 ounces of liquid! I think yo can only by them online though.

DRIBBLING - Any ideas for dribbling?

My 86 yo father with Alzheimer's can get up at night 3-4 times to go to the toilet, but there is a trail to-and-from the toilet of dribble. He is oblivious to this, although it means a tremendous amount of mopping up and disinfectant to keep the floor clean and the room from smelling.

He is on terazosin (alpha-blocker) which has helped to increase the urine flow, and finasteride (shrinking prostrate). My understanding is that the terazosin helps to relax the bladder neck muscles, but I assume this then doesn't particularly help with the dribbling.

Asking an 86 yo man to do Kegal exercises...would be futile. He has no urinary tract infection and the dribbling and incontinence became more severe about a month ago, especially after he became weak from an flareup of an underlying bone marrow disease.

We are alternating between disposable underpants and various changing of underpants, but it is a constant and 'pun intended', quite draining on us.

I also notice that the disposable underpants really aren't very-well suited to peeing at the toilet as they so bundle up a person. Unfortunately, we can't get the more regular-brief like disposables where I live. We've tried just putting in a "strip" of absorbant cloth into regular briefs, but as you can imagine, this is also not the most convenient to change constantly.

I buy Molicare diapers for my mom, using one at night with a depend over it to keep it in place. We don't have to change bedding now except for the usual weekly routine. Molicare is more expensive but worth it, as it saves effort, water and the aggravation of nightly incontinence. http://www.molicare.org

I am now caring for my husband who has Parkinson's disease and his occasional incontinence during the day is being helped my many great suggestions from readers here....use of bed pads on furniture, the poise pad sounds good, and will have a doctor appointment soon to get a prostate check. So, this comment is not regarding him but I want to make a comment for all of you taking care of your wonderful moms - Bless You ALL! My mom passed away at age 86 in a nursing home situation where she also was wet much of the time through the 'depends'. The staff was not good about keeping her changed often and my sister who lived near her, did her best to visit and do laundry regularly, however, constant wetness resulted in many bladder infections and eventually she had other systemic infections as she was also diabetic. My advice is to be sure to look for signs of bladder infections if your parent is soaked often - even if only at night, and ask regularly if there is any pain when urinating or feeling of illness overall, etc. I would also like to know what a pessary is? That might have helped my mom, although prior to being in the nursing home, she had never had any urinary problems. Thanks everyone! RSuzyJ

Good point about the bladder infections! I was totally unaware of how "crazy" a elderly person's behavior can become because of a UTI! I thought she had slipped into a deep state of dementia when my mom had a UTI! If you notice confusion, (even if it's slight) weird behavior, smelly urine get your loved one to a doctor asap to get a urinalysis! The nursing home where my mother was for rehab really didn't work at keeping her dry and she had two infections in 6 weeks! She is now in assisted living with great caretakers (what a blessing!) and I am diligent about them keeping her clean and dry. I purchased the big disposable cleansing cloths by the case so the aids can use as many as they need to in order to keep her bottom clean! She gets a tad lazy about going into the bathroom at times but who can blame her? 84 years old and very arthritic-it's a chore to just move about. I also am going to try a aloe wash specifically for perineal cleansing in hopes to keep the area clean! Thank you to all who take the time to write in suggestions! It's so nice to know I'm not alone!