Alcoholism and Elders: Watch for the Signs

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Alcoholism <br>and Seniors

My neighbor Joe was rarely without a hip flask during Prohibition, and, while a hip flask eventually went out of vogue, he didn't change his drinking habits as he aged. Joe was a functioning alcoholic – he, and everyone who knew him, was well aware of that fact. He was also brilliant, inventive and funny. He had reached 87 years, and had no desired to quit drinking. His wife had died a few years before, and, as his neighbor, I'd become his primary caregiver. His one son lived half-way across the country.

During the time I was caring for Joe, I'd set up a personal alarm system, so he would get help if he fell or needed assistance for any reason. He had the necklace variety, and generally wouldn't wear it until I hung it around his neck during my daily visit, generally around the noon hour. Many times I was grateful for that alarm, as Joe would fall often, due to his early deafness and accompanying ear problems, and of course, also due to his alcohol consumption. When he fell, he knew to push the button on his alarm. The alarm would notify a dispatch center and they would call me to check on him. I'd run over, and usually, with the help of a chair and me tugging on him, we'd get him up off the floor.

So, when my phone rang one evening as I was fixing supper, and the dispatcher told me Joe had set off his wrist alarm, it was nothing new. The sun was low and cold as I ran across our snowy yards and through his doorway. I'd just left him a few hours before, and had monitored his lights as he went about his house in the dusky afternoon. That was one way I'd keep tabs on him. I knew his habits. I'd noticed he had started his supper, and then I didn't see him, but generally he'd watch TV for awhile before he ate.

 
 

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SNA

Give a Hug

Jul 2, 2008

What are the signs of alcohol-induced dementia?
My husband stopped drinking a few years ago but was a heavy beer drinker for 40 years. He thought that 1 6 pack a day or every other day, was no big deal. In the last 2 years I've noticed memory loss, unexplained anger, and confusion.
Please advise.

 
 

That could be the start of Alzheimers or another dementia. Have him go see a doctor with youso you can fill in the blanks for him.

Perhaps have a frank conversation with the doctor before the actual visit.

The sooner treatment is started, no matter what the problem, the better

 
 

Erin

Give a Hug

Oct 23, 2009

What about when the addicted elder becomes very verbally abusive to the family and caregivers? And now appears to have had a stroke. Who can we bring in to help talk to them?

 
 

Betsy

Give a Hug

Sep 22, 2010

I've experienced an alcoholic elder in my family and what you relate here really makes sense. My mother in law was a full blown alcoholic, but hid it from family. She injured her back and was in such pain she began to attempt to kill the pain by drinking brandy straight - all day long. ...and she insisted it was apple juice. When we realized the seriousness of the situation my husband and I spoke with the hospital social worker, and she came out to meet MIL....talked her into being evaluated at the local hospital, after which they admitted her - during the admittance process the RN, who could smell alcohol on her breath, asked MIL if she had been drinking that morning. . .. MIL said "no, hadn't had a drink in months". . . RN assured MIL that she would not be "in trouble" but the truth would help the RN be able to properly assess and treat her. MIL still refused to come clean, so when I could I spoke privately with the nurse and told her what had been happening. MIL never really spoke coherently again - she went into DT's from the alcohol, and passed away within 2 weeks. Tests showed cancer had returned and was in her spine, which probably caused a weakening, which in turn caused the FX to the spine. But the dr assured family that she was not ready for a hospice and had at least a year left. The alcohol had to be a definite contributing factor. So sad. And so hard for family to see. I would have wished much better for her at the end. I really want to urge family with this problem to tell the doctor and get help....if the dr is not understanding, change doctors. This is a horrible way to die.

 
 

ald565

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Sep 22, 2010

My parents told their neighbors we were estranged - not true - but it was designed to keep the neighbors in their apt. complex from contacting us in times of serious problems. My dad was sole caretaker of my bedridden, seizure-prone mother. And yes, my father allowed my mother to drink alcohol to excess while on Tegretol and Depakote in addition to pain killers, which he himself was prescribed tho no pain source was ever diagnosed or identified by his PCP....

Rather than contact the family, the neighbors "enabled" (not realizing they were being duped) my parents to continue to stay out of assisted living ("we can't go, they'll take our booze away" was what my father told one of the neighbors). My father would suffer falls from drunkenness and low blood levels because of favoring alcohol over actual food. He would end up in the ER, refusing to have his bloods drawn where it would be exposed that he was in a state of drunkenness or suffering a drug-alcohol interaction. The neighbors had a wine and cheese party on Thurs nights which was canceled because of my parents' aggressive drunken fighting in front of them all. They were at a loss of what to do until I showed up one day and was confronted by one of them about what a bad daughter I was - wherein the truth came out about what was really going on. They no longer see me as a bad person but are horrified at how they were duped and enabling people to live in a way that was so very hurtful to so many.

My suggestion is to check the obvious places in the elders' home when you visit, if you SUSPECT alcoholism or not. We never thought to do this until after this meeting with the neighbor, I opened the cupboard i my parents' kitchen and found not only multiple FULL bottles of alcohol, but a lot of empties - my father didn't want us to see his trash full of wine and whiskey bottles, I guess (????).

Between the Health Dept, neighbors, and us 3 kids (in our 40s and 50s) both my parents were taken into custodial care. Sadly, without their alcohol, they are a major nuisance to the nursing home staff (this is an awesome facility, by the way - it's like being in a luxury apartment with a 24-hour nurse and all meals provided BUT NO BOOZE). I pray for myself and for others in this situation which is brought on and fueled by alcohol dependence and the aging brain - a bad combination, and one that destroys families and communities. This is seriously an under-addressed problem by primary care docs. But then the cure is only as good as the patient allows it to be, and a lot of seniors don't seem to think that they need to impose boundaries on their own behavior.

 
 

gmbyacht

Give a Hug

Sep 22, 2010

Back to the original story - 87 stubborn will not stop drinking after decades. Let's hope he wasn't driving and could have killed an innocent child. I personally have no pity for him. He lived his life the way HE CHOSE.

I looked after a 75 yr. old alcoholic neighbor for yrs. for free, the kids (hundreds of miles away) told me to let him hit bottom. He finally did and went into a home and the kids finally showed up. He had fallen (again) and was treated for the bad fall, malnutrition and withdrawal. The Dr. diagnosed him with alcohol related dimentia-I was suspecting that all the long. Back home with his big pension and new 4th wife-he met in the nursing home/nurses aid - he's drinking up a storm again-(50 yrs. of it). I suspect his new wife will poisen him, keeping him now fr. family, friends and neighbors. Who knows how this cat with 9 lives will kick the bucket, but it's not my problem anymore. He says he's having a ball and will go out with a bang! Moral of the story: some people don't want help and there is nothing you can do for them. They have lived their life and now it's time I live mine

 
 

MarthaHilda

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Sep 22, 2010

I have gotten no help from my mother's doctors since she will tell them she only has 2 beers a day. When she broke her hip she self medicated with alcohol for nearly 2 years before they diagnosed the broken hip. The doctor said she was withing a month of dying from malnutririon. Truth is she was having 12 to 24 a day. After her last fall when she dislocated her artificial hip, I told her she had to quit drinking or go to a nursing home. The orthopedic doctor did give her tranquilizers and sleeping pills to help with the withdrawl. While in the hospital I had to leave her unattended for about 90 minutes and alerted the nurses that I would be gone. When I returned Mother had climbed over the bed rail and had removed her IV and had dripped blood all around the room. They couldn't understand why I was upset!!??!!
Her GP, oncologist and podiatrist continually say that there is nothing wrong with a beer or 2 a day and the podiatrist says that a glass of red wine a day would be good for her. She is so charming with the doctors - they think I'm just a mean b**ch that doesn't want her to have a beer or wine. I wish they could have observed her when she was drinking. She likes to tell people she has never been drunk in her life --- I nearly fell over when I heard her say that!!! I have vivid childhood memories of her guzzling Alka-Seltzers and pucking off the back porch. I just believe that the doctors were never educated on dealing with an alcoholic so they ignore the family when drinking comes up. I have been able to stand my ground for over a year. I was so ready for the podiatrist to make his wine comment I think he must have sensed I was ready for it because he did not bring it up. Al-anon meetings can be helpful for some but alot of times you will be out there fighting the battle by yourself Just know that you are doing the right thing for them since they are unable to do it themselves

 
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