Which sounds better? "Let's go, Dad. We need to get you dressed for day care." Or "Hey, Dad, let's get you ready. The guys at the club are waiting!"
If your Alzheimer's-afflicted dad is dragging his feet about going to day services and you need to get to work, which do you think would be more effective? It's pretty obvious that the more respectful, dignified question would get the best response.
Whether called "day services," "day care," "the club" or "volunteer work"—whatever seems right for the sake of the specific elder—these adult day services have been a well-kept secret for years. Far too many people don't realize they have this care option.
Just for the record, I try to stay away from the "day care" term, because there is a certain stigma of childhood that goes with it. I am a proponent of treating elders with dignity, no matter how "child-like" they may have become. So, I prefer the term "day services." For more on the dignity issue, you can read "How "Role Reversal" or Other Catch Phrases Skew Your Thoughts."
Variable terminology aside, adult day services can be extremely helpful. When an elder is in the earlier stages of Alzheimer's, probably able to live at home with some care, but at risk for wandering or leaving a stove turned on if left alone for long periods, day services can be a life saver, literally.
Many people will try in-home care for awhile. They will hire an agency to bathe and dress the elder, but then what? What does the elder do all day? Day services can be a good option, at least a few days a week, as the elder gets out and is able to socialize with peers.
In cases where one spouse is healthy but can't care for the other spouse day and night, or when the healthy spouse just needs time off, day services can be an option.
It can also work well if the elder with Alzheimer's disease lives with adult children. In most homes, both adults must work. Often there are children of varying ages involved, as well. When everyone must go to school or work, who looks after the elder? Day services can fill the gap.
Many adult services have a handicapped accessible bus that will pick up the elder. There should be someone on the bus trained to work with the elder and who can become a familiar face. Other times, you may have to drop the elder off, or maybe that just works better for your elder. Generally, there are choices.
Day services provide social stimulation for the elder, as well as activities and safety. Many have a nurse on call or on the premises, to administer medications.