Q: Dad has hoarding disorder. How can I convince him to quit being a hoarder and clean up?
A: Hoarding is a huge problem with many seniors. You might not be the best person to discuss this with your father. There are excellent professionals who do nothing but deal with this issue.
It's great that you are aware of the problem, because nothing good can come of this. There are health issues galore, not to mention safety issues. Seniors who are hoarders have a compulsion to hoard. People who cannot bring themselves to get rid of their belongings are risking complications that can really wreak havoc in a family's life. Usually hoarders are discovered when emergency services are required. There may be a fire in the kitchen or a health emergency where the emergency workers cannot get into the house or cannot get a stretcher through the door.
Sometimes the neighbors report the hoarder. In an apartment building, the hoarder may be discovered when maintenance people cannot get into the dwelling for repairs. I don't mean to scare you, but hoarding can be incredibly dangerous. If a hoarder clears the clutter, there is room for new and better things to come into the hoarder's life – in this case, your father.
It's important to establish a trusting relationship with the person who is hoarding. This is extremely difficult to deal with, especially if the hoarder is your parent. There is too much emotion attached to the problem. So often, family members try to solve this problem by just cleaning out the house and throwing everything away. Although well intentioned, it is the worst thing that you can do. Professionals know exactly where and how to begin. There is a psychological reason why your father has begun hoarding. The truth is that you are not in a position to be able to diagnose what is wrong or why, and you cannot expect yourself to be able to solve the problem. Hiring a Hoarding Specialist is going to be worth every penny and will undoubtedly save your dad from having something more serious happen to him.
Cindy Laverty is the founder of The Care Company and host of The Cindy Laverty Show, a radio program dedicated to caregivers.
Read her full biography