How Long can Someone Live with Alzheimer's?

Mother is to the point of forgetting names and such. She was put in a health and rehab home due to foot swelling. She ask me the other day "where am I and why am I here. I try to tell her the truth knowing she will not remember,but I'll say mom you won't remember what I tell you but in the here and now maybe you will and that is ok for now. I did not agree to this place but two of my sisters do not want to deal with her anymore and I have no say so. For the last 4 years I have cared for her everyday while everyone else worked. I was voted into this because I had the least bills and my child is grown and on his own. You know the old saying... you leave the room to go to the restroom and return finding out you have been choosen for who knows what... Well I would not trade the years I have had with mother. I think the other sisters disliked me because mother and I were so close and when she needed something when she was with one of them she asked for me.I miss her so but can hold my head up and know I did my best and my mother somewhere deep down knows I love her. Bennie

my dad was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 56.He was always a bit forgetful as we were groing up and over the years this progresed slowley.At the age of 54 he started to get worse at this stage we got medical help.He was addmited to the local dementia ward .My father is now 62 and his dementia has progresed at a rapid speed.He is in the last stage of alzheimers and in full time care.I know how hard this is to deal with and would advise you and your family to seek all the help you can.There is only so much that you can offer at home but a lot more is needed.Alzheimers is a very long and suffering illness that effects the whole family .

AD certainly is a disease that affects not just the patient, but the whole family. And each individual within the family structure will deal with the disease differently. Some will not "want to be bothered" and others will give and give until they are "used up." I have been caring for my father in home since his onset about seven (7) years ago. He is now on hospice care and at n-stage of the disease. I would not trade these past few years for anything. It has been hard, yes certainly

I went to the h/rehab to see mother fri before valentines day and took her a heart of candy,she cried and said you remembered me. Of course I started crying again(crying now).Mom said I want to go home with you and I had to tell her again mama I can't do that. She smiled at me and said I know. My best friend told me that my sisters are not happy with their lives so they do not want anyone else to be happy. I believe they are just cruel hateful people. One day they will be old and are afraid this will happen to them. I believe mom is going into another stage of dementia and when I visit again she my not remember me at all. She can remember to ask for a cold coke when I visit next. I bring one no matter what. Even with out mom in my home anymore this still hurts and takes its toll on my health. Just like you AnnieK. I would not trade these years for anything . I have memories no one else will have. Bennie

It has been a little over a year since I became involved full-time in my parent's lives. Our relationship was always peripheral before that, from the time I was a teen or maybe before. I wanted more, but one was too busy, and the other too mean. Now Dad's changing and fading. We went through the anger stage, and a confused stage, and now it's a tangled stage. Everything he says comes out different than what it should. He's not eating most of the food offered, and won't get out of bed much. Only 8 months ago he was still driving. But he got lost, and wandered, too. The decline has been incredibly rapid. I'm preparing myself for the end already, but have no idea what to expect from one day to the next. I can't imagine going on like this for long. He refuses to shower or brush his teeth or eat. He can't button or zip or dress anymore. Wow. It makes me wonder if the progression will continue at such a fast pace. It's sad, but what does he have to look forward to? He doesn't seem upset, and he's not angry anymore. Whew! (That was awful!) For awhile he seemed incredibly sad. Now, he just wants to stay in bed, and not get up, and not do anything. Not depressed, I don't believe, but just unable. Too much effort or too much stimulation for him to do anything. Weird. I couldn't imagine being so immobile. I think I'm already preparing for the inevitable. I'm not sad or grieving right now, like I have been. In fact, I can't understand why not. But why sit around all sad? Everyone dies of something. I can't change this. And we do try to enjoy what we can with him. It's limited. I rejoice that I get to spend time with him whenever I want. He can't get away from me. He's stuck. And I don't have to share, cuz no one else is around. So I've been blessed. But, I do have life outside of Dad. And a young son to raise and a husband to love. Both are involved in Dad's life, so we all have each other today. Truthfully, I hope I don't have to watch a slow, agonizing, painful decline. Withering away, unable to respond. That would be hard to participate in for long. Fortunately, friends and family stay updated daily through a Care Pages website I created back in October when Dad was hospitalized. They consistently view his web pages and have been and incredible encouragement to me. I have been blessed. It will probably hurt like crazy when Dad does go, but sometimes I think, that would be better than living without purpose. Am I rambling or what?

If I had a choice, I'd have the Dad back who loved to participate in all sorts of activities, and could talk to me normally again. But that is not to be. Perhaps I'm just learning to accept what can't be changed. And to hope it won't get worse. But there's no way to guess how long the process will take. Best to just take things one day at a time. Just for today, I want to be a blessing. Not a hero, just a blessing. A smile. A touch. Love. And be grateful for today.

My Mother has been in a home with alzheimers for 8 years. She is at the stage where she knows nothing or noone. It's so hard to go there and see my sweet mother who took care of our family for so many years. I have to force myself to go ther, I have little support from family members, only my sister who lives far away , she tries to come twice a year. I pray everyday for it to be over, I don't know how much longer i can take it.

My Dad has been caring for my step-mom for 5 years now and she is in the last stages of AD. She can do nothing for herself and he is used up. He is 68 with high blood pressure and diabetes but very outgoing and independent. The dilemma is money. He has a nest egg and is afraid he will not have enough to live on if he puts her in a home and has to spend it all on nursing home care. There are no options I can find for him to be able to keep his nest egg. Any suggestions?

There are so many options, kcat. Seek legal counsel, and follow these threads. The more you read, the more answers you'll have to make good decisions.

My Dad is doing better within the last 3-4 weeks. It's amazing. Social, eating, happier, and getting up. He has been having seizure episodes, though. That's frightening. Today's seemed less severe and his recovery more rapid. Hate seeing the frozen stare, though. Very scary and not pleasant to deal with. I do not like the thief, Alzheimer's.

How are you doing, Faye?

Anne,
I too, took care of my mom. She was diagnose 12 years ago. The last 5 have been continual care 24/7. My sister and her children could not even come by because they wanted to remember her happy and healthy. I lost her 2 weeks ago. I kept her home with me, my husband, and my mentally challenged daughter. I would not change a single minute even tho it was soooo hard to see her that way. The last few days were awful but I feel no guilt now because she was with me till the end. I did learn that I had to take care of myself. I ended up in the hospital in Jan with no immune system and kidney failure from stress and not taking care of myself. You have to take care of you first or ya can't take care of them. Remember that you all!!! keep smilin......Phyllis

God Bless all of you. I am a Nurse Assistant who just got my first patient with Alzheimers....I was looking for information to help me deal with him. I told his wife last night, it's sad because it no only steals their lives, but the families lives too. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you..God Bless and Stay Strong=)