Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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B bundleofjoy May 27, 2024 · Answer 1 · 2024-05-27T11:33:38.000-0400

My doctor just told me I'm suffering from paranoia... I mean he didn't actually say that, but I knew that's what the snide bastard was thinking.

B bundleofjoy May 27, 2024 · Answer 2 · 2024-05-27T11:33:16.000-0400

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

B bundleofjoy May 27, 2024 · Answer 3 · 2024-05-27T11:32:03.000-0400

My lack of knowledge of Greek Literature has always been my Achilles' elbow.

B bundleofjoy May 27, 2024 · Answer 4 · 2024-05-27T11:31:15.000-0400

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

L Llamalover47 May 26, 2024 · Answer 5 · 2024-05-26T21:58:49.000-0400

Roger: Good one!

R Rogerwyatt7890 May 26, 2024 · Answer 6 · 2024-05-26T19:10:11.000-0400

What do you call a cow with a nervous tic? Beef jerky LOL.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 7 · 2024-05-26T17:49:23.000-0400

Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 8 · 2024-05-26T17:44:42.000-0400

What did the Jedi say to the tree? May the forest be with you.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 9 · 2024-05-26T17:44:19.000-0400

Good things come in trees.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 10 · 2024-05-26T15:08:50.000-0400

☺️ An apple every 8 hours keeps 3 doctors away.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 11 · 2024-05-26T14:40:02.000-0400

😊 If you really love something set it free, unless it's a tiger.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 12 · 2024-05-26T14:37:41.000-0400

My new thesaurus is terrible - not only that, but it's also terrible.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 13 · 2024-05-26T14:37:20.000-0400

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 14 · 2024-05-26T14:32:06.000-0400

The menu said "Breakfast any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 15 · 2024-05-26T14:25:18.000-0400

What if Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 16 · 2024-05-26T14:22:31.000-0400

I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade.”

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 17 · 2024-05-26T10:56:40.000-0400

You know what part I love about waking up?
None of it. Let me sleep.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 18 · 2024-05-26T10:55:14.000-0400

I haven't shopped in 3 days. I don't even know who I am anymore.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 19 · 2024-05-26T10:53:35.000-0400

I don't need a boyfriend.
I need $12 million and a donut.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 20 · 2024-05-26T10:47:08.000-0400

Successful adulting:

Not stabbing someone
when you really want to.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 21 · 2024-05-26T10:41:50.000-0400

Don't tell me you miss me.

Tell me you're outside
with tacos.

Actions.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 22 · 2024-05-26T10:40:34.000-0400

I don't need a stress ball. I need a stress bat.

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 23 · 2024-05-26T09:37:32.000-0400

😊 "To be Frank, I'd have to change my name."

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 24 · 2024-05-26T09:35:48.000-0400

"Jokes about women's bodily functions are not funny. Period."

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 25 · 2024-05-26T09:35:23.000-0400

"I own a lawn-mowing business. I get bad reviews when I don't cut corners."

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 26 · 2024-05-26T09:34:42.000-0400

"Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy."

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 27 · 2024-05-26T09:29:37.000-0400

"There is no 'i' in denial."

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 28 · 2024-05-26T09:29:09.000-0400

"I feel bad for the homeless guy, but I feel really bad the homeless guy's dog, because he must be thinking 'Man, this is the longest walk ever.'"

A Anxietynacy May 26, 2024 · Answer 29 · 2024-05-26T08:46:04.000-0400

No I'll go first!!!

😄

B bundleofjoy May 26, 2024 · Answer 30 · 2024-05-26T04:03:23.000-0400

Tell me a joke about self-centered people.

I’ll go first.