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A common problem AA, that shoulders thing, for those of us with mastectomy, both from affect on muscles and on our tendency to not throw our chest out anymore, but pull in hunches in a protective posture. It slowly becomes worse and worse over time.
My recommend is for PT consult because boy did that every help me. The exercises are EASY and can be done in 15 minutes and really helped. I was actually getting muscles in the cervical area, shoulder, underarm, scapula and even some nerve pain all playing together at it's worst. It has improve my posture a lot and at 81, likely due to the luck of the genes, I am acutally the same 5'71/2" I was as a young woman. BUT IT HAS TAKEN WORK. (hee hee).
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Curious if anyone else has this problem.

I'm rather small body ,with a rather large chest. So I have posture issues.

Been working for a while on my posture. Started with orthopedic bras, which are amazing, for me now going to Chiro regularly, a little bit to a masus. My back and spin are a lot straighter.

Now I've been working on keeping my shoulder back. It's become an obsession for me. I'm thinking that it is increasing my tiredness, my core often just feels tired. I think because I'm moving my muscle around?
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Golden,

From what you have said about R, he is a gem!
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Golden, yes I'm sorry way! 🙂‍↕️

All these new friends of mine at once, having a hard time keeping track.

I thought I was the only one looking forward to snow to make my husband happy. Now I have someone I can complain to if we don't get snow. Every one looks at me when I complain like I have 2 heads. 😆
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nacy - I think you mean way has a great guy, which she certainly does.

Mine is a great guy too. Like yours R (aged 73) loves shovelling snow. He'd shovel right after work or even after driving up from E'ton (5+ hr drive) he'd shovel the driveway before coming in.

send - I know the fibro pain is a b***h. I take Tylenol daily and dextromethorphan (Robutussin) and other stuff. Turmeric is good too. I've recently increased the Robutussin as a result of an article stressing that the brain inflammation causes the pain, and in turn is caused by the overactive immune cells. I am noticing a positive difference. Hope you feel better soon.

need - glad you are wearing sunscreen and a hat. R has to watch as he is prone to skin cancers. Fortunately i never took to sun bathing as I don't tan well - mostly burn.
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Way, what a good point, it's probably better that younger people don't know

When your young you have looks, when your older you have knowledge. Wouldn't it be nice if they could figure out how to have both at the same time. 😆
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When we were young, we thought anyone 30 years and older was really old!! 😝

Now, I think being 30 is so young!
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It would have been such a downer to think about being old when we were young though !!
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Nacy,

You’re absolutely correct. I hated when my elderly neighbor told me that I was going to have wrinkles from the sun because she saw me sun tanning in my bikini.

We never think about getting older or any consequences for anything when we are young!

I told her that I didn’t care if I had wrinkles when I get old and that I wanted a tan.

Well, I wasn’t so smart because I didn’t use sunscreen and not too long ago the dermatologist removed a spot that tested positive for cancer cells.

Now, I wear sunscreen and a hat!
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Needs, in my early 40s I was at the supper market and got yelled at by this sweet looking older lady. I was racing though the store, and she said to me "Slow down, skinny" I walked away and did slow down and was more careful after that. But yeah we all go through that.

Recently I was at a dinner and I heard these 2 young teenagers laughing at a very older woman sitting in the corner with her daughter. All I was thinking was that will be you someday. After I wished I said something, but at the time what ever I said wouldn't of came out right.

We don't realize that we all get there when we are young.

Golden, that's a great story! You got a good guy!
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Way,

You married a sweetheart!

Many years ago, back in the days when cars had hubcaps, two of my hubcaps went flying off of my mini van. I was going shopping for my young daughters.

This young man saw it and ran across three lanes to retrieve them.

This guy looked like a gazelle running out in traffic for my hubcaps! I was in awe of him.

It was pouring down raining and he took the time to put them back on.

When he finished, I took money out of my purse and told him, ‘Thanks so much. Please buy a nice dinner for yourself.’

He said, “Honey, your smile is all of the thanks that I need. My wife is out shopping. She left cold cuts for me to make a sandwich.” He was a sweetheart like your husband!
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Need,

Love the flat tire story, so funny !!

When my hubs was in his last year of college he was able to stack all his classes on Mon, Wed , Fridays. He worked as a bank teller Tues, Thurs, Saturdays .

One day hubs came in late to work , dirty and wet from changing an old man’s tire in the rain . Hubs had recognized the old man as a customer who came to the bank every Friday wearing a suit ( even though he was retired ) and he would talk to the bank manager .

The bank manager yelled at DH for being late , would not let hubs explain just sent him to the drive up window .

Alittle while later the old man came in and told the bank manager how the new young male teller helped him. After that the bank manager was thrilled . Apparently the old man was filthy rich with alot of money in that bank .

Another time DH was late getting back from his lunch break , he stopped to change a pregnant woman’s tire . The bank manager told him he should keep an extra change of clothes in his car if he’s going to keep doing this . The woman was also a customer at the bank and she would come to my hubs drive up window every week . The woman’s husband and his family owned multiple kitchen appliance/ TV stores on our island . The woman’s husband came into the bank and gave my hubs our first VCR free for changing his wife’s flat !!
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Send,

I hope that you feel better soon.
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One more thing 😂, even if the scientist did say fibromyalgia was psychological.
It's still pain and it's still physical, the brain is part of the body. So how are mental issues not physical.

That always annoys me. Even dementia effects everything, smell , balance, bladder control, that's physical not just mental health
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Nacy,

It is nice to see.

I have to say that when I was younger, I was like everyone else who was always in a huge hurry, busy with my own life.

After seeing my mom decline, I started slowing down and opening doors for older people and allowing them to enter before I did.

One time, an old man said to me, “Thank you so much. Those doors are so heavy for me to open. God bless you for opening it up for me.” I smiled and said, ‘God bless you too.’

I hate to admit it, but when I was younger I was a very fast walker and didn’t notice everything around me. I walked right past slow people.
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The fibromyalgia thing is real. Even I have doubted myself.

This may not be true for everyone with fibromyalgia, but the very painful areas that hurt so very much if even touched-or it's just there hurting if you don't touch it--
If you can endure a touch of massage or the pain of pressure for a moment, the pain gets better after that without pain meds. It doesn't make sense, but we can work thru the pain. It may not always work when everything hurts at once.
And helping one area still leaves the whole body pain.

Yeah, sometimes "just don't touch me" is all you can do.

I am going to go take some liquid Tumeric now for the pain.
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That's funny needs.

Yesterday in my town I saw an older man walking with a cane, that I've never seen before. He looked like he was having a hard time, but he didn't look lost, I was just going to follow him and maybe strike up a conversation and someone else pulled up to him asked him if he was ok. I just watched from the distance and he lived around the corner, she took him home. It's so nice to see people do good deeds in this world!!
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Golden I'm so glad progress is being made too. I know my sister's is real.
When her kids where young I would watch her, and she would constantly tell them to stop touching her because it hurt. A touch from your child never hurts a mother unless it's real.

My brother is deep into a religion that I don't agree with. That's a long story too. His son was suffering badly with anorexia. He wouldn't believe me. I told my brother, ok thanks giving day, when you walk in to moms, he is going to be sick. And if what I say is true and he instantly gets sick he has an eating disorder! Well guess what, he got sick and they had to leave. But my brother still wouldn't believe me.

So I did so private investigating and found out his moms husband works at a car garage in a town, in Vermont, called all the garages until I found him. Was just about to call asp when she called me back. They where very greatfull and took him in, and got him help. He is doing ok now. He was 21 and there was little I could do.

And my brother thought prayers would cure him

Anyways after all that stress I thought I had fibromyalgia. I hurt all over and slept for a few days on and off.
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Went out to lunch today with my brother.

As we were walking towards the restaurant, my brother saw a young woman sitting in her car talking on the cell phone.

He noticed that her front left tire was flat. So, he motioned for her to roll down the window to tell her.

She looks over at him and says. “I have a boyfriend.” He tried again a couple of times. Each time she made a face and said, “I have a boyfriend.”

He told her one more time about the tire, a bit louder, while he pointed at her tire. Suddenly she says, “Oh my gosh, I have a flat! Will you help me change it, please?”

He told her, “Have your boyfriend change it!”

He said to me, “I would have gladly helped her if she wouldn’t have been such a jerk to me when I was only trying to alert her about her flat.”
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nacy - sorry about your mum.but glad you have accepted it

I wanted to comment on what your bro said about Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia viz "It's all in your head."

When I first had it ,I wondered too. Then one day the escalator in Zellers wasn't working and I had to walk up it to get to the second floor. By the time I (who had walked for miles and miles regularly) did, my legs were like jelly and I was totally convinced it was real.

30 years ago many thought that it was psychological - both professional medical people, psychologists and others. I suspect my oldest son still thinks I can overcome this by mental exercises. I was diagnosed by a doctor who realized what it was and used the guidelines of the time. More and more research has shown many deficits and pathologies in those suffering from it. It's gratifying to me to see the progress that research is making.

Now all we need is a cure or at least better treatment. I would like to see that in my lifetime.
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Nacy,

It certainly is difficult to see how rapidly a person can decline. She is fortunate to have you in her life to help her.
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Took mom out this morning, to are local nursery and then for ice cream.
Are trips out are just about done, she is getting to frail. The ground at the nursery was just to bumpy for her. I feel like I should be sadder about it but I think I delt with it all, knowing this day was coming all winter.
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I don't know how my husband does it. Never seen a 72 year old work so hard. He just loves to work. In the winter he gets so excited about snow storms because he gets to shovel. He has a snowblower that he has used a total of 4 times, in like ten years. He goes out there as happy as a pig in mud and shovels then goes to his farm and shovels.
It was a rough winter for us because hardly no snow to keep him happy.

Now he is happily digging holes, filling in where the pool was, smashing concrete. Gets up this morning happy as a larc. And I'm a tiny bit annoyed because I hurt all over, doing my spring work. I will say we keep each other healthy and moving.

I worry about him, but it's what makes him happy.

Needs, that actually sounds like a fun job. I think the hardest part would be dealing with some of the clients

Way, that's awesome your daughter is doing that, it's good to know there are still people out there that are down to earth, you must be very proud!
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Way,

I hear you. It’s not for everyone.

This gal thrives on pressure and absolutely loves her job. She’s perfectly suited for the job. She says it’s a lot of fun but also a ton of work.

She’s very self motivated and gets the job done. She’s really smart with money. She has a business degree and has used it to her advantage.

Even though her clients can afford to splurge on things, she works hard to get them a fair price.

She is wonderful at planning any kind of event.

She’s an incredible hostess at her own parties. They are top notch, not only because she thinks of everything, but because she is very well connected to others who provide the best of the best services.

She has a magnetic type of personality that people are drawn to.

She has impeccable taste and she will search high and low for her clients for the perfect venue and all that goes along with it to make it a truly special occasion.

I know what you mean though, I am sure that there are days when she wants to tear her hair out!

She tells me that she has a blast spending other people’s money, and of course, she is paid very well for it, which makes the job much easier!

I am shocked at the amount of money spent on weddings these days and how busy she stays. When she gets time off, she takes fabulous vacations to unwind.
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Need.

I wouldn’t want to be a wedding planner , all that drama . I’d probably lose it and say “ It’s one freaking day , get over it , the marriage is the work , the wedding is the party and should be layed back and fun !!! “ Lol

Don’t even get me started on pricey bachelor and bachelorette parties . And bridal showers for those who already have a home full of stuff. My daughter wants neither . She said she’ll just hang out with her bridesmaids the night before and watch a movie on TV after the rehearsal dinner . She also is paying for the bridesmaids dresses , hair and makeup .
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Way,

My friend’s daughter has told me that she rarely has issues with the bride and groom. She does run into problems with parents of the couple.

She is very good at her job. She has to be to pull off these extremely posh weddings. When there is a problem she finds a solution.

She has had to act as a mediator for the bride because brides become tired of telling the parents that they are not going to follow their advice.

The couples are going to do things their own way, as they should.

Parents should not try to take over the bride and groom’s day. I don’t blame anyone who says, ‘Just forget the whole damn wedding. Let’s elope!’ 😝
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My daughter has actually said to me , “ I want the marriage not the wedding “, but that won’t fly on the fiancés side . She doesn’t want the stress of planning it .

Since they will have one anyway she’d like to limit it to parents , siblings ( and spouse , or SO ) and close friends , and any few relatives particularly close to .

The fiancé says his mother will expect all the aunts , uncles, cousins , second cousins , great nieces and nephews etc to be invited . And there are a lot of them.
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My friend’s daughter is a wedding planner. She makes a good living. Her clients love her!

She only handles high end weddings, costing a million dollars and up. Some of her clients spend a fortune just on the dress!

You would not believe the amount of planning that goes into these types of weddings. She works really hard for her clients.

Every year she flies to New York to see the latest trends in bridal gowns.

She knows all of the best places for local weddings and destination weddings.

She is up to date on everything because her clients expect her to be.

Only the very wealthy people can afford weddings that expensive. No one should go into debt for their wedding!
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It's ridiculous, I always say people should be thinking more of the marriage than the wedding.

I just don't understand it at all.

If that's what they want and there dream that's fine but they shouldn't expect others to spend there life's fortune for it.

People are spending the amount of money on the just the shower that I would spend on a wedding
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The bride and groom going away on a special holiday used to be what the honeymoon was for, lots of people do have small, low key weddings. Those stupid bridal shows have to be clever marketing advertisements because they seem to have convinced a whole generation of people that extreme extravagance is required - It's insane to me that anyone would fork over the equivalent of a down payment on a home for the ring, the dress, the venue.
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